Category Archives: Babes

Eva Longoria Turns 30! Ow!


There are rumors floating around that Wilmer Valderamma is getting a piece of Eva. Who really knows what’s up with Eva these days? All we know is that Senorita Justice sucked ass, she doesn’t believe in marriage, and she’s an expert at whoring herself to sub par men. But you gotta hand it to Wilmer, man. That guy gets more phunnntaaang than a lot of big shots in Hollywoood. Seriously, the guy has been rumored to have been w/ every hottie in the biz. Good for for him. That bastard.

Regardless of how many other people Eva is sleeping around w/, on March 5, 2005, she was with JC (a.k.a. her bitch). As you’ll see in the photos that follow, Eva was having a blast & I’m sure JC enjoyed some real good love-makin’ that night (damn him). Eva seems like she gets wasted real quick, though, so that’s a tip for all you chumps looking to bang Eva at one of these partaays (behind JC’s back, of course).

Enjoy the photos.

Carmen Electra Temps As A Pussycat Doll

Carmen Pussy Cat

A little too much makeup, but still hot, baby!

Wow. Carmen is a marketing genius! When she’s not having crazy sex with Dave & selling her stripper-video, she’s earning a few extra bucks on the side hitting up MTV award shows & doing these insanely sexy shoots for Pussycat Dolls.

Check out a few photos from sessions. [Not recommended for the office]

Bastardly Interview: Rachelle Wood

Photos courtesy of

Thanks to miSs for turning our eyes to the lovely Rachelle Wood. She’s been in music videos, commercials, film, and television. She stars in the new Reebok S. Carter campaign currently in rotation on your television. However, with balancing work and school she was able to take some time to answer a few questions for us bastardly guys.

Not only will you find that she’s a cool down to earth girl but she’s downright sexy too…enjoy!

“I LOVE comedy. In acting class I will do anything to improve a comedy scene.” [The Book LA]. You don’t know how relieved we were to read that, Rachelle. We’re in the business of making people laugh—or at least making really bad attempts at it. Anyway, who do you dig at the moment? If you had a chance to date Adam Sandler or Dave Chappelle, who would Rachelle Wood treat? Why? Don’t tell me you’re one of those sophisticated/nerdy Dennis Miller types? Of course, we don’t mind.

HAHA. Yeah- I’m definitely the comedy type. I studied dramatic theatrical acting at Stella Adler Conservatory of New York for 15 hours a week and when I finally came back to LA I was dying for some fun! There’s nothing I’d rather do than an awesome comedy one day… maybe the next “Austin Powers?!?! As far as “types? go, I LOVE Dave Chappelle. I mean love love love. I got his First Season DVD for Xmas and it’s honestly the best thing I own. That show will go down in history for stepping on all the right toes.

By the way, have you been to any comedy clubs in NYC or LA? They are to die for, man.

While in NYC, I lived right next to a bunch of them, but I never made a visit. In LA I’ve been to “The Ice House? a few times. It’s pretty good. Last month I was there and both of the comics were gay men. It was the FUNNIEST SHIT EVER. Can I say shit? If not, sorry!

"I Love You, Natalia Oreiro!"

hey natalia if you read this I just wanted to let you know im not crazy, im just crazy for you… dont think im some kind of ugly stupid fuck who is looking for a girl online, i got girls, but i have NEVER seen some1 as beautiful as you girl. your body rock.. by the way I got the 6 pack incase you intrested =) I hope you come to Kosova Pristina some time i will show you the best VIP places ever, i know every one there hey girl dont let any mother fucker bring you down, you deserve the best, and please dont let me see you with some1 ugly.. you should get some1 like me baby =) got to go

peace out to my albanian thugs.
Arben On The Talented Natalia Oreiro Forum

Albanian thugs?! Woah, where’d that come from?

Is this obsession, love or a combination of both? My favorite part is when he says, ‘your body rock.. by the way I got the 6 pack incase you intrested’. Hilarious.

Sad, Sad Day: Jessica Alba Stops Sleeping Around!

Can you believe it?! I think a tear fell when I read that (it probably had something to do w/ the God-awful scan above). I never knew J. Alba whored herself around to every eligible bachelor in Hollywood. She slept around for the sake of ‘experiencing’ sleeping around. Here’s a snip from next month’s Cosmo in which she reveals some scandalous details.

I just wanted to see what it was like to be with different people. I don’t think a girl’s a slut if she enjoys sex. I would have a one-night stand, and I’m not the kind of girl who looks over in the morning and is like, Do you really have to be here? I don’t need to cuddle and do all that stuff because I know what it is and I don’t try to make it more. I feel like a lot of women try to make it into more, so they don’t feel so bad about it just wanting to have sex. I don’t really have a problem with just wanting sex. Never have. Even when I was a virgin and wanted to marry the first guy who I slept with, I never passed any judgments about that. But now I’m done [with dating around]. -Cosmo’s Interview in their March Issue

Damn Jessica for letting self-respect & her conscience convince her to stop sleeping with a new man every other week.

Now she’s dating some dude named CASH! Who names their kid CASH?! Maybe he went to the DMV & changed it himself so he could pick up on hot, rich, superficial broads?

Truly a sad day, I tell you. I didn’t even know that she was a virgin when she was with that Dark Angel co-star, for God’s sake! That bastard got first dibs on one of the hottest pieces of asses in the industry. It’s too bad (for him) that she left his ass.

Anyway, since this is such a tragic day, I’m going to follow up with a photo tribute of Jessica Alba. Hold back your tears, guys.

My, my. Jodie Sweetin From Full House!

Like a lot of Americans, I used to tune in for Full House on Friday nights—almost as religiously as Airwolf & Bionic Woman (two of my other favs). Of course, my eyes were either on Candace Cameron (although I thought she was chubs for 90% of the time) or Lori Loughlin (John Stamos’ hot wifie). But, who the hell knew that bloody Jodie Sweetin (Stephanie) would turn out to be super hot?! My God.

One important thing to take note of here. I know Jodie probably makes a nice chunk of change off royalties now that Full House plays in every country around the world, but she must be a little pissed that she wasn’t a bit younger during the show. What I mean is that the Olsen twins went on to become millionaires selling clothes, movies & makeup, but Jodie probably went back home to lead a normal, life that every other b-rated star ultimately leads. That’s a little fucked up, right? The Olsen monkeys could have at least asked Jodes to play some sort of role in their company. Selfish bitches.

The photos you’ll see below are from some old reunion they had last spring. Dude, I thought I was good at gauging hotness-potential (def. where you look at someone and can tell whether they will be hot—a very bastardly technique, but hey…), but I seriously struck out w/ Jodes.

If Paris Hilton Interned @ The Strip Club…

Stripper Paris

She has done porn, so why not add stripping to the scandalous resumé, right? I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t have much info on these photos. Although I could swear I saw them floating around some time last year. It appears the set is from some party, but it’s highly doubtful she’d do what she’s doing w/ cameras around. Ok—I take that back. She makes videos of herself doing suckie-suckie, so in comparison, these photos are pretty harmless.

It looks more like a photo shoot of some sort. More info later—for now, feast your eyes on Ms. Paris Hilton, the stripper!

March Playmate Jillian Grace On E! (Again)

If you missed her appearance on Howard, I hope you have it TiVO’d! I missed it & didn’t have my recorder set, so I’m screwed. I’m sure she shed some light on the Pauly Shore situation. That bastard. I think he slept with Paris during the VMAs & now he’s taking advantage of Jillian Grace.

Ok, enough bullshitting. There are rumors that this entire Jillian Grace thing is one huge media conspiracy. It’s pretty much linked to how Jillian was on the show the same day a big-shot Playboy exec. People think that since Howard caters to the horniest demographic on Earth, Playboy made some sort of secret deal with the Stern Show to help plug one of their monthly playmates. This was all in an attempt to help Playboy claw it’s way out of a big hole in terms of a dwindling subscriber base & not to mention, a horrible-horrible stock price.

Although I wouldn’t be surprised if this were true, I think the horniest demographic on Earth could careless. Let’s not fool ourselves, now. The only thing these people care about is having another hot chick to whom they can wank-off. (Ok, maybe I took that one sentence too far…)

Luisana Lopilato Models The Latest Gottex!

I hope all you girls are planning your summer styles well in advance b/c us guys wanna see you all lookin’ sexay on the sand. There’s nothing like going to the beach & admiring beautiful women swimming around in da nude, but since that only happens in the our dreams & on exotic Medditerrean beaches, we wouldn’t mind seeing you in these super sexy styles by Gottex. God have mercy.

For all you guys who want to know more about Luisana Lopilato, browse with caution. Surprisingly, this girl is only 17, but no worries, you bastards. She’ll be of legal age this May 18th (per this website). Oh yeah, two more things. Luisana’s Argentinean & apparently those are NOT implants (very doubtful)! I bet “girl” has heard of her b/c Luisana is apparently a big star down in S. America.

Anyway, enjoy the photos!

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