Category Archives: Dudes

This One's For The Lydeees: Mark Wahlberg

Ow!
New Kids On Da Block, baby!

Apart from knowing who Marky Wahlberg voted for this past Tuesday, we suspect he might be going crazy…

I definitely have my own kind of philosophy. It’s changed over the years. I was certainly on the darker side at one point. I didn’t give a fuck or think that anything mattered – it was all about cruelty and manipulation.

Uhh-huh, uh-huh. What about cruelty and manipulation, Marky? The entertainment industry? The fact that you’ve manipulated countless chicks, slept with them irregardless of their marital status & then in a heartless fashion dumped them for guys like us to catch on the rebound?

That was me straying away from church and my faith, getting into trouble and turning to other things for comfort. But now it’s all about love and compassion and forgiveness. For me, it’s all about Jesus. [Ireland Online]

Oh boy. Girls, this is the time you’ve all been awaiting. Marky-Mark is sexually vulnerable at the moment. If you want to sleep with him, find the guy, then:
1. State that you need assistance understanding Christianity (over dinner)
2. Ask him if you can see his religious books in his house
3. Then ask about the book he’s reading right before he goes to bed
4. Once in his bedroom, proceed to slowly strip & allow an even greater power overtake him—the power of Male Horniness.

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