Category Archives: Dudes

The Michael Jackson Trial: Bullshit Tsunami!

I know a lot of you think the guy is crazy & guilty, but hear me out!

Just because Michael didn’t pay off this bitchy, lying whore of a mom when she tried to blackmail him, she’s now resorting to literally tossing bags of shit at Michael Jackson’s defense team. Here are some interesting claims made by mommy.

[Jackson] kept begging me to sign it so there wouldn’t be any lawsuits or anything. I didn’t understand completely what I was signing. [CNN]

“You don’t trust me. We’re a family,” she quoted the entertainer as saying. “There’s nothing wrong. There’s nothing going on. Why don’t you trust me?”

What a mom!

By the fall of 1993, the mother testified she became concerned. Her son had become withdrawn, sullen and “was not wanting to be with us anymore.” She said he began dressing like Jackson and was “not as sweet as he normally was.”

“[He] was spending too much time with Michael Jackson, and I was upset,” she said. “I wanted my son back. … It was getting out of hand.”

So what is she implying? Her son fell in love with Michael? Dude, the jury has to be on crack to believe some of this shit.

This One's For The Lydeees: Mark Wahlberg

New Kids On Da Block, baby!

Apart from knowing who Marky Wahlberg voted for this past Tuesday, we suspect he might be going crazy…

I definitely have my own kind of philosophy. It’s changed over the years. I was certainly on the darker side at one point. I didn’t give a fuck or think that anything mattered – it was all about cruelty and manipulation.

Uhh-huh, uh-huh. What about cruelty and manipulation, Marky? The entertainment industry? The fact that you’ve manipulated countless chicks, slept with them irregardless of their marital status & then in a heartless fashion dumped them for guys like us to catch on the rebound?

That was me straying away from church and my faith, getting into trouble and turning to other things for comfort. But now it’s all about love and compassion and forgiveness. For me, it’s all about Jesus. [Ireland Online]

Oh boy. Girls, this is the time you’ve all been awaiting. Marky-Mark is sexually vulnerable at the moment. If you want to sleep with him, find the guy, then:
1. State that you need assistance understanding Christianity (over dinner)
2. Ask him if you can see his religious books in his house
3. Then ask about the book he’s reading right before he goes to bed
4. Once in his bedroom, proceed to slowly strip & allow an even greater power overtake him—the power of Male Horniness.

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