Compliments of Jorge Vazquez, Summer 2005, Madrid
Long neck, super lanky body, crazy eyes & on top of it all, a scary stare. The suit’s design looks as if someone just painted on black tar onto her body. Nothing special, but should give you people something to compare future swimsuits against.
Imitation of Christ, Spring 2005 Collection, NYC
I know I might go to hell for saying this, but eventhough these styles have a Biblical touch, they are undoubtedly sexy. Am I wrong? I don’t know even if these rags qualify as swinsuits, but I dig it. What you guys think? By the way, this is in the running for my Summer, 2005 swimsuit contest.
Reason for entry: Quick access to all body parts.
And…yes, I’m a bastard!
This is what happens when Donatella Versace sniffs a little too much crack…
When I see the Olsen twins sporting these sunglasses, I’m reminded of two (possibly blind) baby monkeys wearing a shit load of lipstick & every piece of jewelry found at your local Indian Jewelry store. Their skulls, it seems, give support to the theory of evolution. Anyway, I digress. I’m supposed to be bagging the glasses. Are these sunglasses suppose to represent the size of your bank account or possibly your balls b/c they are appear to be pretty repulsive and not to mention, cumbersome to the everyday Joe. What has the world come to? We’ve resorted to stealing style from disabilities found in the blind & elderly. Very sad, indeed.
Jum Nakao’s showcase @ Sao Paulo Fashion Week Summer 2005. Is this supposed to be some sort of contraceptive in 3rd world countries that women wear to keep horny men from getting too close? Jum, give an explanation, yo!
Stay tuned for my Spring/Summer bikini review for all you chickas & all you guys who want your women to look hot next year.
Spring ’05 Fashion Week, NYC
Was Naoimi on speed when she agreed to trance her 85 lb ass on the runway with bloody nipple-revealing-stars plastered onto her body?! What the hell, man. There must be a line between style & shear (ugly) sluttiness.
Capitalism has gone to yet another low: body part insurance industry. I heard about J.Lo’s ass being insured, but I never knew the beauties were insured for bloody $1 billion. What kind of premiums does that involve anyway? Let’s face it, only a stupid entertainer would make such payments! Seriously. What the hell has to happen to her ass so that she’ll get the billion?? The ass is in such a place on the body that for it to come off the body could be fatal (and pretty damn gross). I’m guessing Jenny has to suffer such an injury where her ass will become unshakable and therefore become useless in pullin’ in the bucks. This is why I’d love to get my hands on the fine-print for this policy. It would be pure comedy. Irregardless of J.Lo’s ass detaching itself from her body, a billon dollar payoff could take an insurance company down under.
Anyway, here are some other stupid people:
-Heidi Klum’s Legs for a cool 1.1 million pounds. She’s old news already.
-Dolly Parton’s (of all women) OLD, wrinkled up boobs for $600,000. Who the hell set this price?!
-Claudia Schiffer’s face is worth $5mil. Is she waiting for some kind of freak accident to stop the premium payments b/c she’s old news as well.
I’m still contemplating what the hell I’d insure…