Category Archives: Fashion

Bastardly Top Model: Cycle 5 Winning Picks!

I was supposed to do this last week, but work got the best of me! My apologies.

So without further ado-do, here are my top 3 picks to win it all (in order, of course). In order to do this, I don’t need to watch any show or read any articles. I base it purely on my overly superficial ability to judge people.

In the number one position…

Nik! Yes, I think a sistah’s gonna catwalk away with it all once again. Even though Tyra has a big head, I think she still looks out for the sistahs like any other successful black woman would. Aside from that, Nik is drop dead gorgeous! The lips, face, the skull-structure—you name it!

The Tyra Show: Desperate Breast Exam

When will Tyra realize that she’s a hasbeen model & she can never be as rich as Oprah? She’s now resorting to having her boobies felt up by good-looking docs. What next?

In terms of ratings, the season isn’t starting out too hot for Ms. Bigheadanks.

Three days into the new season in syndication, and based on the metered markets, the news remains cautiously optimistic for NBC Universal’s Martha and Twentieth Television’s Judge Alex, but notably disappointing for Warner Bros.’ The Tyra Banks Show. [Media Week]

And Media Post, another industry publication, gives a much harsher analysis.

Syndication’s other high-profile rookie daytime show–Warner’s Bros. Domestic Television Distribution’s “The Tyra Banks Show”–came in as a more typical syndication show–under delivering in double-digit percentage for advertisers, according to media executives. For stations, the show–for the first three days–averaged a 1.3 rating–23 percent below last year’s 1.6 ratings for the same time periods. [Media Post]

No worries for Tyra fans, Top Model is extremely successful from all measures, so we’ll be seeing Tyra’s galaxy-size ego on display for a bit longer.

* Watch the video

Kate Moss Cocaine Public Service Ads By Dior

Is this Dior’s version of damage control or a genuine attempt to attack an ailing problem @ its rapidly beating, coked-out heart? I’ve always believed that cocaine use has been a little over-the-top in the fashion industry.

Just look at bloody Donatella Versace, for God’s sake. She looks like she just exited a fucking 12-round boxing match with Mike Tyson—and lost (miserably). Then again, she also looks kinda clay-figurish too, but either way, my point is that she looks really fucked up. She has done coke ever since she was like 10, so go figure.

Ok, my apologies for that minor digression into Donatella’s coke-filled world. Let’s return to these Dior public service ads for a sec. Although I think it’s a good idea to inform the millions of middle-class chicks, who religiously pick up fashion mags to admire endless photos of ultra skinny chicks, I don’t think Dior is attacking the problem @ its root. The root, mind you, is the fashion industry itself. The coke-induced fashonistas—everyone from the gay stylists to the fucking Chihuahuas carried around by 5’11”, 23lb chicks are @ the root of the problem. On that note, let’s end w/ a little Kate Moss.

I want to apologize to all of the people I have let down because of my behavior which has reflected badly on my family, friends, co-workers, business associates and others. [Yahoo News]

Oh, and here’s one more ad.

Cosabella Mare @ The 2005 Miami Swim Show

Talk about sexy! So what if the summer is gone in the States. It’s the perfect excuse for all you hot mommas to deck your sexy bods in the latest in bikini fashion & travel to beautiful spots in the Caribbean to show it off to all the horny guys.

If that’s too much, you can just take photos of yourself in your favorite bikini & direct them over here.

Anyway, take a good look at some of these styles & go on a shopping spree over here!

AForest Design Attends Terrorist Fashion Week

I’m probably going to get sued for this, but I just couldn’t let this slide by w/out cracking a few jokies.

Aforest Design crossed the line w/ their latest show in Lisbon a month or so back. I hope these designs are scheduled to be used in an unreleased movie b/c I cannot see Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie decking their 90lb bods in these rags. On second thought, if you push enough cash up their asses, I think you can make them prance around w/ cow dung on their faces, for all they care.

Gisele Quits Cigarettes & Starts Weed

I used to hate oysters because they’re slimy and disgusting looking. But
then after I quit smoking I tasted it one time and I’m obsessed with it now.
I wanna eat three dozen, five dozen. I don’t know what to do. They’re
delicious. I love them, especially the Kumamoto ones. [SF Gate]

If not weed, definitely crack. For those worried that Gisele will now blow up into a fatass, has-been hottie, worry not, my friends. Gisele’s supermodel status pretty much guarantees that she does a few lines at least once a week & when was the last time you saw a fatass doing coke?! (Kelly Osbourne is the sole exception to “fatass doing coke” rule.)

Before I close, I would like to say that Leonardo is another lucky bastard for getting a piece of Gisele’s boney ass (in her prime). Let’s just hope that having sex with Gisele is a little more entertaining than fucking a couch (whatever that’s like) b/c I’m pretty sure that overly sensitive supermodels don’t have crazy sex like our Angelina or J. Albas.

Ok, here are a couple more pics of Gisele doin’ some poolside stretching.

Petra Nemcova's Birthday Party @ Soho Grand

Oh how she must enjoy life, but I’m sure there’s a definite drawback. For example, she must get hit on by everything moving & only because it’s probably so damn easy. Donald Trump was at Petra’s birthday a week back (by association, of course) at The Soho Grand Penthouse Loft & I’m sure he laid down a line or two.

Donald Trump – So Petra, I heard you were in a Tsunami? One of my properties must have been damaged in Phuket.
Petra – Ya, a lot of people died too. My…my boyfriend died too.
D. Trump – Petra, I’m known to make supermodels feel a little better, so let me give you a hug. Just watch the tu—hair.

Ok, sorry for that lame convo. I’m sure it would sound funnier if they were acting it out. But let’s admit it, judging by how nice Petra Nemcova can be, I bet Donny’s already swindled her for a night of crazy sex while Melania was cruising around in his G5.

Anyway, check out photos from beautiful Petra’s Birthday party on July 19th.

The Sexy Luisana Lopilato Replies To Fans

Our first Luisana post brought countless fans to the site & a great number of those fans left notes for the Luisana, so I figured it would be fun to have a response from the hottie herself.

Dear Wonderful Fans,

I love you guys too! Yes, even you Vladimir! Я не могу без тебÑ?!!! Please do keep writing me personal notes below b/c I read each one & cherish you all and love you all, too. Sorry, my English not good, but I love you guys!!

There is not enough love in this world to explain my love.

Also, my boobs is real. I promise.

Lots of love & even more love,

Your Luisana

Wow, what a powerful letter. I could feel the love. I hope you guys are happy. For those of you looking for more, please look below for photos of Luisana workin’ her bod. Ow!

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