Category Archives: Fashion

Wanama Model: What Race Am I? Game

Wanama Model  Paseo Alcorta Buenos Aires
Wanama. Paseo Alcorta, Buenos Aires Summer 2005. You can never go wrong with fashion shows in South America. Never.

First off, it’s pretty obvious that Wanama designs super hot beachwear—all priced in Argentine Dollars, too! What’s not so obvious is this Wanama model’s race. Due to the show’s geographical location, I’m led to believe that this chick might just be Portuguese mixed with other shit, but with a closer look, for some odd reason, I smell a hint of chow mien on her gorgeous bodjay. Jax, V-man & others, lay down the full assessment. I’m including 3 more photos & 2 close-ups of her face (kinda pixilated).

The Alien Woman

Jorge Vazquez
Compliments of Jorge Vazquez, Summer 2005, Madrid

Long neck, super lanky body, crazy eyes & on top of it all, a scary stare. The suit’s design looks as if someone just painted on black tar onto her body. Nothing special, but should give you people something to compare future swimsuits against.

Oddly Sexy Styles by Imitation of Christ

Imitation of Christ
Imitation of Christ, Spring 2005 Collection, NYC

I know I might go to hell for saying this, but eventhough these styles have a Biblical touch, they are undoubtedly sexy. Am I wrong? I don’t know even if these rags qualify as swinsuits, but I dig it. What you guys think? By the way, this is in the running for my Summer, 2005 swimsuit contest.

Reason for entry: Quick access to all body parts.
And…yes, I’m a bastard!

The Cataract Sunglasses by Versace!

Big Glasses
This is what happens when Donatella Versace sniffs a little too much crack…

When I see the Olsen twins sporting these sunglasses, I’m reminded of two (possibly blind) baby monkeys wearing a shit load of lipstick & every piece of jewelry found at your local Indian Jewelry store. Their skulls, it seems, give support to the theory of evolution. Anyway, I digress. I’m supposed to be bagging the glasses. Are these sunglasses suppose to represent the size of your bank account or possibly your balls b/c they are appear to be pretty repulsive and not to mention, cumbersome to the everyday Joe. What has the world come to? We’ve resorted to stealing style from disabilities found in the blind & elderly. Very sad, indeed.

Insured Body Parts

Ow! $3m lips

Capitalism has gone to yet another low: body part insurance industry. I heard about J.Lo’s ass being insured, but I never knew the beauties were insured for bloody $1 billion. What kind of premiums does that involve anyway? Let’s face it, only a stupid entertainer would make such payments! Seriously. What the hell has to happen to her ass so that she’ll get the billion?? The ass is in such a place on the body that for it to come off the body could be fatal (and pretty damn gross). I’m guessing Jenny has to suffer such an injury where her ass will become unshakable and therefore become useless in pullin’ in the bucks. This is why I’d love to get my hands on the fine-print for this policy. It would be pure comedy. Irregardless of J.Lo’s ass detaching itself from her body, a billon dollar payoff could take an insurance company down under.

Anyway, here are some other stupid people:

-Heidi Klum’s Legs for a cool 1.1 million pounds. She’s old news already.

-Dolly Parton’s (of all women) OLD, wrinkled up boobs for $600,000. Who the hell set this price?!

-Claudia Schiffer’s face is worth $5mil. Is she waiting for some kind of freak accident to stop the premium payments b/c she’s old news as well.

I’m still contemplating what the hell I’d insure…

1 764 765 766