Calling all intelligent, witty, and lets just face it, dirrrrty minds out there!

Now that the first design for Bastardly.com has hit the market … I’m already thinking of plans for our next Bastardly shirt. I think its a full proof plan to get everyone involved and participating … since without you lovely audience members out there in the land of the world wide web, (yes this also includes Steve, the bastard I’ve never met and HATE with every inch of my body, which by the way his penis will never even come close to … I would like to keep the void between us farther than it already is … maybe you should move to one of your like ten houses in other countries that you brag about owning since you are waaaay too superior for us lesser folk) we wouldn’t have Bastardly to begin with.

The humble beginnings of Bastardly was founded upon the basis of … lets just talk shit to each other and still keep in touch since we all live so far apart. In the early days … Yes Moe did have a section where he had certain quotes from people we knew in the corner and I would seriously laugh my ass off reading them. So then I thought to myself … Why don’t we feature a really good quote from our readers? Maybe have a series of shirts that have those thought provoking quotes … It makes the shirt more Bastardly … if you know what I mean.

So come one come all … to the battle of the quotes!!! Let the games begin!! Don’t be afraid to leave a comment … cause hey … It might make you famous!!

Eva Longoria Dumps JC Chasez for Stephen Kay!

Eva & Stephen
11/16/04 – Is this a PR stunt or what? Stephen Kay looks like a cross between Tommy Lee & a So Cal skater.

Ok, this is kinda weird considering we saw photos of her with JC about a month back. Eva, I have to say, very smart move. You saw your Bastardly Rating & took our suggestion to dump JC for someone actually in Hollywood. JC was weighing down Eva’s rating by 0.75 points, so her new Bastardly Rating is now 8.43! My God. Congrats for that.

Ok, enough of the small talk. So when did Stephen Kay start enjoying Eva’s sexual services? Here’s the first bit of evidence…

Emmy Award Nominee Anne Heche, Academy Award Nominee Kathleen Quinlan, Jonathan Lapaglia, Academy Award Nominee Chris Sarandon and Eva Longoria Star in “The Dead Will Tell,” a New Television Movie Inspired by the Readings of Medium James Van Praagh,
To Be Broadcast Oct. 24 on the Cbs Television Network.

And here’s the last sentence of the press release…

Stephen Kay is the director from a script by Mark Kruger, Nancy Fichman and Jennifer Hoppe. [James Van Praagh]

Son of a bitch! It’s quite possible that Eva was fooling around with Kay while she was still with J.C., but that’s purely speculation & gossip. Either way, I really think this move will work out for Eva in the long run (4-6 months). She will merely use Kay as a stepping stone into the pants & scripts of other big name directors in Hollywood.

Great work, Evs!

Angry Cameron Diaz & Justin Timberlake v. Paparazzi

Angry Cameron Diaz & Justin Timberlake v. Paparazzi Photos
This poor guy is like half the size of Angry Cameron. Was Cams drunk or maybe her G-string was too far up her ass wasn’t allowing her to think properly?

Ok, these photos are pretty damn entertaining, to say the least. These will surely prove to be good evidence in wringing Cammy & Trousersnake of some dough. Let’s hope the photographers are asking payment for “emotional distress.” Now, we all know how much that can cost, right?

I have two more funny photos. Check em out!

Star Jones & The Art Of Forceful Lovin'

We all know that Star Jones tied the knot w/ Al Reynolds this past weekend in NYC, but there’s a mysterious aura behind Al Reynolds’ intentions. Is he lookin’ to run out the 2-year pre-nup period & then escape w/ a divorce & tons of cash or does he want to wait around for another 10 years until gluttony makes Star immobile? Who really knows and who really gives a shit, right? Right. Well, we were analyzing some intimate photos (yes we have nothing better to do) of the two lovebirds (yaack!) and we noticed that Star’s love for Al is rooted by her dominant, forceful side. To put it in simple terms: Al Reynolds is Star Jones’ bitch.

Star Jones & Big Gay Al
In this photo, Star is actually sitting on Al and has a gorilla hold on his waist. Al can do nothing but smile.

TOP 5 MOVIES OF 2004


Shrek Rockin’ the house!

Yes, it’ s a little too early for this stat, I love following the industry’s earnings…
1. DreamWorks’ Shrek 2 raked in $883.0.
2. WB’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban ate up $789.4
3. Sony’s Spider-Man 2 captured $783.7
4. NM’s The Passion of the Christ nailed around $609.5
5. Fox’s The Day After Tomorrow somehow earned $542.4

So yes, the greatest earner was Mel Gibson’s flick which wasn’t even in English! It took that guy around $55mil to produce & market, so yes, that’s a gross profit margin of bloody 91%!! Crazy how such a religious movie can earn so much money. It’s believed that Monica Belucci pulled in about $100m by herself.

Please note: Figures obtained by one of the coolest sites on the net, Box Office Mojo. These are worldwide grosses, so just imagine what this number will look like after DVD, merchandise, etc etc. Let’s all quit our monotonous day jobs and start up a studio!

Miquelina's Retro Look

Miquelina

By Miquelina. Rio de Janeiro Fashion Week Summer 2005

So yes, this is in the running for the Bastardly Summer, 2005 Swim Suit of the Year! I really dig the skinny top with the colorful square designs. I’m telling you, the color orange is hot these days. The belt idea on the super tiny bottom is ingenious, as well! The 60s are back, baby! Once again, South America rocks the house!

Miquelina
Skimpy, yet elegant!

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