I CANNOT comprend how you are my friend Moe. I think I cried last night because the T-Wolves lost. No, not because Minnasota is my favorite team, its mainly because I fuckin HATE the lakers.

I hope one day I will be walking down the street with a dozen bricks and it just so happens that Dick Fox, Kobe Bry’can’t’, dumb Derrek Fisher, RETARDED (literally) Shaq, lame-ass Devin George, Karl "I’m too old (look at the grey hairs on my gotee) to play basketball so I just bully everyone" Malone, Gary "I suck" Payton, and Kareem "I will never be the most famous Kareem in basketball" Rush all walk by so I can throw those bricks at their knees. Yeah, of course you win basketball games when you buy players. Duh.

The Ultimate Cheesy Corny Ol' Skool R&B Loves Songs List

Alright, so the challenge has been laid down to me by my friend to come up with the ultimate mix cd of cheesy corny ol’ skool r&b songs.  Now, I’m talking about stuff that came out when we were in like middle school…I’m open to suggestions.  I’m talking about artists like Troop, Riff, Jasmine Guy, Trey Lorenz, etc…

If you think Shai or Keith Martin is old school, then you’re too young to participate on this list…

It’s like, when you hear the song, you gotta be all like, "damn, i remember i was in 6th grade when that song came out."

So far, the most cheesy song I’ve come up….Jeremy Jordan, "Right Kind of Love" off the Bevery Hills 90210 soundtrack!  oh baby!!!  i know he ain’t r&b but I remember the video where’s he’s trying to ball with his hired crew of brothas…

Minisuckota Rushed by Lakers!

There is a tragedy in being a Lakers fan and living on the east cost. One tragedy is simply the lack of other Laker fans in the South for the good ‘ol reminiscing about the great championships of the past & the second tragedy is the more obvious timezone issue. The 3-hr differential simply does not suit my work schedule! I was up until 12am watching the Lakers run over Minnesota. I have to admit, I was a little scared in the 3rd quarter, but thank God, Kareem Rush came up huge w/ his six 3-pointers. It was luck, God damn it, but winning championship year after year after year takes a little luck, along with a tremendous amount of skill. Minisuckota has the skill, but simply needs more luck. Maybe next year they can get to game 7? Or possibly spend $300 million & bring hall-of-fame players to compliment Lattrell & KG?

As for ‘Soul Plane,’ I was unable to watch it yesterday. Things came up beyond my control, so I was forced to postpone until later this week (hopefully Saturday). I’m kind of glad because I didn’t really want to watch the movie w/ a bunch of rowdy Southerners on a holiday weekend anyway. So yes, you will have to wait for my full review of this epic.

Beauty @ the 'Soul Plane' Premiere

Today, I will catch the matinee show, but for now I will leave you guys with some HOT photos taken at the Premiere. These are just some of my favs:
First, we have our main man, Snoop, sporting his Gangsta Pilot Suit. No, he didn’t wear this to the premiere. This was just a cool photo I decided to pop in. I know, I know. I’m losing a lot of of my credibility in choosing movies by pushing this film so much, but screw it. People will soon see. True threatre comes alive when people act with the intent to entertain their audience—not shock them with the blatant glamorization of murderous, mythical heroes (i.e. Troy) or of course, rely on computer generated flicks b/c modern actors simply don’t cut it (i.e. Shrek 2—I know I’d like this movie if I saw it, but I’m trying to prove a point make).*

My Hick Life…

Truly sad, I tell you. I learned to edge my lawn today. I never thought it come to this, but yes, I edged my lawn to perfection, God damn it! I used a powerful Black & Decker edger that caught the eye of some of my hick neighbors who were also tolling away in their robot lives w/ de-weeding, lawn mowing, & random garden upgrades. One guy even came over and checked out my edger. I won’t go into our exciting conversation. Anyway, now all I need to do is buy a Ford F150, get one of those lame wood carriages that look like they’re about to come off of trucks and hit other cars on the freeway (you people in cities probably have no clue what I’m talking about), buy a hardcore lawn mower and lastly, drive around cutting other peoples’ lawn through the guise of my own lawn mowing business.

Ok change of topic… *

Bloody Gas Prices

I know it’s probably cheaper here than anywhere else in the States, but it’s really upsetting. Gas prices in the South have gone from an average of $1.30 to $1.95 in a matter of 2 months! If this won’t contribute to deflation then I have no clue what will. I used to go and have ice-cream @ Marble Slab or hit up B&N for their mags or get some coffee at a local coffee joint, but I have to tame my trips down a bit now that the prices are slowly inching up each day to record levels.

I drive a small Mitsubishi Mirage, so I might be complaining a little too much, but I see all these people in their huge ass SUVs and wonder what it feels like to literally pay up their asses for 40 gallons once or, God forbid, twice a week. You know the thought of selling their Money Guzzler and buying a humble Civic crosses their mind as they stand there painfully watching the meter race up to $60 or $80 per fill-up. God, it is a sad-sad reality, but I think those people who can afford SUVs can most probably maintain them, as well (at least, I hope they can).

Anyway, weekend is going to be pretty boring. Doing a BBQ today for a party later tonight. It’s never fun doing a bloody BBQ when it’s 95 degrees & humid outside.

Oh one last thing. There is a new “Print” link next to Comments under each post. Now you can actually print our wonderful posts and save it to read later when you’re on the bus, the sub, or the airplane & having having trouble going to sleep. I’m trying to get an E-Mail link going as well, but first have to work through a few bugs.

Ratings: Lisa Marie & Michael Jackson

You knew this rating was on its way. Yes, they both were together, but it was only for the public to see. I doubt they had any deeper relationship than that (at least, I hope to God they didn’t).

Dear lord, have mercy!Lisa Marie is a very special case. She was hot leading up to her adult life, but as she got older, she kept enjoying the fruits of her daddy’s millions. Those fruits went straight to her stomach, face, neck, ass, you name it! Lisa needs to get her daddy’s checkbook out and do the following:

– give one check to a hired nutritionist- one check to a bloody personal trainer–actually maybe hire two. One to train her and one to follow her around and make sure she’s not binging on 5lb steaks- plastic surgery is always an option in my book. Especially if you are the daughter of the King of Rock n’ Roll & have access to his millions. I would suggest getting fat suctioned out of her cheeks, arms, waste, ass, thighs and every other body part to bring her back to what she looked like when she was 25. How old is she now, anyway? 40?! Who knows. But she looks real beat up for her age–whatever it happens to be. *

Kelly Clarkson and other parts of last night I caught…

alright, so yesterday i stated that Kelly Clarkson is fine and if you watched last night you’re probably going to think I’m on crack for saying that. But I’ll have to give my analysis on what I caught last night.

Okay, so Kelly comes out for that performance with Predator, Kool-Aid man, and Ruben. She lookin all sexy with that shiny silver sparkly bra with the coat over it and like one button done. So I’m thinking to myself, "damn, i wanna unbotton that." Now she looked pretty fine in that performance. HOWEVER, I start watching some other stuff and come back to Fox where she’s doing her second performance and it’s a close up of her head and her multiple chins. Then I see she’s sitting on a piano…two things went through my head, 1st: damn, kelly clarkson got herself another chin now and 2nd: man, i hope that piano can hold up her big round ass. I mean, wtf happened to her? I mean she had a little squish and that was all nice. Then, I remember seeing Making the Video for "Before Your Love" and she looked fine and then the video for "Miss Independent" she be all slimmy and fine….but this!?! goodness, all i’m asking for is 5 lbs off and a little bit of cardio to get rid of chin number 2. But yeah, she’s still fine to me…*

Ratings – Macy Gray & Kimberly Locke

Beauty Definitely not UnLockedIn order to form an appropriate & consistent rating system of really bad & good looking individuals, I’m posting up two people Jackson mentioned in his Diana v. Fantasia post.

On a scale from 1-10, 10 being a person that I have yet to see in any industry or country in all my travels & thankfully, I have yet to see any 1s (but I’m sure the other authors can speak for themselves). I Think I have seen many 8s walking around, but 9s and 10s are close to impossible, my friends. Anyway, here are some 2s-2.5s. I’ll try to get a photo of a 1, so you can see the absolute worst in physical appearance. *

1 5,381 5,382 5,383 5,384 5,385 5,389