The Bastardly T-Shirt! Be Bastardly Today!

The Bastardly T Shirt
Click T for larger image.

Yes-yes, I shit you not, my friends. In order to help you pucker up with hot girls or boys at bars, clubs & tip-top private parties around the world, we’ve created the universal pickup line. If you can’t get to at least 2nd base now, you might want to call it quits & move to Nepal to lead a lonely life in the mountains.

Kiss goodbye to your inhibitions & spread the Bastardly Love & Spirit, baby!

T-Shirt Photo Contest!

You buy. You snap. You win. The simple rules include:
1. Wear the shirt out one night in a kickass city of your choice
2. Take a hot photo* with someone whom you do not know (Tip: Guys, choose someone Varian Gray would hit up on. All you beautiful gals, please give some love to the insecure Asians! They are funny & can help you out when your computer breaks down!)
3. E-mail us your photo.

Our well experienced team will gauge the photo’s hotness level & post them up for readers to enjoy (with your permission)! So what does the winner get? You can either have another T or opt for the “special, secret prize” which you’ll get in the mail soon after you win.

Wavin & Jackson: Don’t email asking if it’s Porn! It’s not, you dirty-dirty people!

Cost: $15 (that includes shipping) for US/Canada residents. People abroad, add $3. There are limited quantities of smalls & xls, so grab ‘em quick if you wanna wear the T @ parties during the holiday season! As the Ts will be ready in a couple weeks, you may order via Paypal, check, money order or cash (at your own risk). Rock on!

*Implies you to be in a hot pose! Be creative!

Tara Reid: On The Brink Of Depression

Tara Reid
The look of shock, helplessness & “God, I wish I could buy a ‘Rewind Your Life’ Pass” is well apparent on Tara’s face. I would feel sorry, but it wouldn’t be as fun. This photo was taken Nov. 7—yes, AFTER her 10 second wardrobe malfunction from hell.

You can also notice that she’s wearing a backup shirt inside her jacket. Good work, Tara! And, just one more photo b/c we’re bastards…

The Bastardly Photos Starring…Mr. Federline, Paris, Olsen Monkeys & Lindsay Lohan

Here we have Britney and Hobo-Genius-Boy (Kevin Federline) walking. It looks like Brit & caramel frap are taking her lottery winner-hubs to the dentist. Aaaw, how sweet. Britney’s AMEX—It’s everywhere Kevin Federline wants to be! [Photo]

I’m thoroughly convinced that Kevin Federline chooses to wear hats only because he is too damn lazy to comb his hair. Once again damn him for being so lucky!! [Photo]

Here’s Paris in her Halloween costume…holding a pumpkin that she can barely pick up. Later Paris put the pumpkin down and broke into one of her catwalks. Haha.

One of the Olsen Monkeys staring down at a package of Twizllers. After a good 2 hours of staring at the twizlers, she managed to start nibbling on one. She nibbled and nibbled, only to later throw itup in the bathroom before leaving the game. aaaaeew! I don’t think we wanna see photos of that, ok.

Lindsay Lohan & one of her male bitches sunbathing—oh the idle life! This guy is like totally playin’ her. Damn him. [Photo 1] [Photo 2] [Photo 3]

Now for those guys who are good w/ this kind of stuff. Are her boobs real?

Asslee's Lip Syncing Excuses Continue…

Ashlee Simpson
Is she wearing a wig?

I’m a human being and things happen. Nobody’s perfect. I mean, if you ever, like, go out to one of my shows or anything like that, I’m always singing my heart out. Something always happens to everybody but you just kinda gotta let it brush off and move on. [Entertainment Tonight]

Excuse Count: 3 [I’m a human being. Nobody’s perfect. Something always happens to everybody]

Pity Count: 2 [I’m always singing my heart out at shows. Gotta let it brush off and move on]

She’s rackin’ it up!

Natalie Portman's Cuts Nude Scenes!

Natalie Portman
The beautiful Natalie Portman. I absolutely love this photo!

He’s as or more protective of me than my parents are. So doing sexual, physical stuff for him felt very uncomfortable. [Only Punjab]

Nat, you play a stripper in a western, Hollywood flick, so obviously you knew what you were getting yourself into before you took upon the role. You cannot back out once the movie is complete, ok. It is a slap in the face of the producers who chose to cast your ass & the anxious male population around the world. Natalie, you should go into a strip club one of these days and see for yourself! Believe it or not, but the girls actually get naked.

BUT, if this is some stunt to build up much needed press before the release of the indy flick, Closer [Photos, Trailer], then I must admit, it’s a damn good idea.

I’ll end with some wise words from Ms. Portman. Let’s hope she takes her own advice and reinserts the missing scenes.

After taking 10 college English classes now, I start looking for different things in scripts, and it’s somewhat depressing not to find them. I think it’s pretty obvious about me as an actress that when I’m bored, I do a really horrible job. It’s sort of shitty of me. But we all know that when you’re obsessed with your work, you do your best. I can’t do things that I’m not 100% about anymore. [Scotland On Sunday]

If she fails to do so, I’ll put down 2 grand that the scenes will be released in a special DVD-Edition of Closer when Ms. Portman’s a little older & doesn’t give a shit about this stuff anymore. Then again, the Internet might come through for us well before the DVD, baby.

The Conservative Sexy Look by Erreuno, Milan

Milan – Spring, 2005. I need this girl’s number!

Damn! See, girls with clothes on can actually be sexy (Gavin).

I Also like the jacket Britney’s sportin’. Very nice, indeed. This was recently snapped at a shopping spree her genius husband, Mr. Federline, went on (courtesy of Britney AMEX, of course). Britney loves him, though.

Britney just needs to fix up the hair, lose the cheetos & frap & she’s back in business, baby! But she looks about 100x better than Lindsay Lohan in this pic.

Paris & Howard @ Knicks Game

Paris & Howard
What the fuck is Paris Hilton doing at a bloody basketball game?!

Marksfriggin’ does a great rehash of the show everyday (been doing it for years, now) and here’s what Howard said on the show about Paris sitting next to him:

He heard some commotion while the game was going on and then saw that Paris Hilton came in and sat next to them. He wished that he’d brought his daughter with him because she wanted to meet Paris. She said hi to Howard and ”hi beautiful” to Beth. It came off kind of sarcastic to him so it was ruining the game. She had about 20 people with her and there was a lot of commotion going on there. She pulled out her diamond encrusted Blackberry phone and instant messaging her friends the whole time. She wasn’t even watching the game. Howard said there were people there, up in the rafters, who were probably ready to kill her because of that. Howard said Paris did look hot though. She was wearing hair extensions that didn’t look so good but she was wearing some hot clothes. [MarksFriggin]

You can’t do anything but shake your head in wonder [Is that photo of a post-catfight sitch or what?!]. Read the site above for other people Howard saw. Apparently the two baby monkeys were there, as well [Photos]. By monkeys, I mean the Olsen Twins, of course. They were buying a lot of food from what people saw at the game—Some of the food was later found under their seats & the rest of it puked into the women’s bathroom. Very sick, indeed.

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