Zombie Week Coming Up!

Zombies?

I think those scary people waving around countless flags, holding up Kerry/Edwards (or B/C) posters qualify as zombies. You can give them strap-ons w/ Kerry/Edwards plastered all over them and program into their little chalkboard minds to parade around Boston & I bet they’ll do it. I think they’ll do just about anything if the TV cameras & free food are close by. All they want is to:

1. Scream when told to
2. Clap when told to
3. Tell their friends & family that they support a campaign
4. Get some TV time
5. Have the opportunity to touch very powerful people
6. Feel important

These are the same people who are known as ‘active community members.’ It is bullshit, I tell you. These people are only active because of the amount of energy they expense while clapping, screaming & stomping their feet. The only positive thing I can observe out of all this is that these zombies are expending plenty of calories in the process & thus losing weight (provided they don’t over-indulge in the free food). If you think about it, holding onto a stick w/ a rectangular piece of cardboard attached to one end creates a tremendous amount of resistance as you wave it around (not to mention, works your shoulders)—it’s far better than sitting on the couch w/ a beer in one hand & Cheetos bag in the other.

Here are some Zombies in action!

Crazy People #1
Crazy, I tell you. Why the hell would I want to touch Herman Munster?!

Lame Duck #2

Another list of random links…

Is Halle Berry anything like Catwoman in bed? It doesn’t hurt to be hopeful. Read her confessions. [News of the World]

One of the funniest & most insightful columns in the world of business & investing. Meet Alan Abelson. I love reading this guy every Saturday, so I’ll *try* to get a weekly thing going here… [Barrons]

Shane Allison’s ‘Black Flag’ tells this how they really are—no fluff! I think it’s next on my list. [Las Vegas City Life]

More troops killed in July (yes, already) than in all of June. Spread the love, God damn it! [TruthOut]

Get another perspective on what would happen if a terrorist attack were to occur during the elections. [The Palestine Chronicle]

Paris Tosses Nick (Boy #53)

Random photo of Nick w/ another girl (I got tired of looking at the photo, so I’ve linked to it). Could she be the one?! If she is the one, Nick needs to be pulled aside & beaten silly.

Recently it was reported by a Hilton Hotels publicist that Paris broke up with Nicky Boy!—Or possibly it was the other way around? I think Nicky boy is now broke and needs to go back to touring and making albums to recoup the money he lost while dating Paris. Exact figures of his expenditures are not yet known, but being digged for…We’ve made logical estimates below.

Read the story here. What follows is a brief story book of their relationship & the financial downfall of Nick Carter:

Shopping with Paris
Shopping with Paris Hilton…$3,000,000 (Off topic: Look at the bloody Security guard! He’s got a clear shot of Paris’ Million dollar, boney ass!)

'We Have Some Planes'

That is the unfortunate title of Chapter 1 of a lenghty 13 chapter report put out yesterday by the 9/11 Commission. It’s sending chills through my body as I read it, I tell you. The report, which I have yet to read in its entirety, has an amazing amount of information that I’m sure will be priceless in the years to come.

I’ve only started to read Chapters 1, 12 & 13. Why only those chapters?

Well, Chapter 1 is filled w/ all the juicy parts about the unknown. Yes, that is a very horrible thing to say, but it’s my honest reaction when I read it. It is the unknown because I was not up in the airplane and our government has the tendency to conceal all audio & flight data from the public for sake of national security. It’s a subconscious reaction that I’m sure everyone experiences. Right?

Chapter 12 & Chapter 13 are quite possibly the most important chapters in the entire report. Everyone should at least skim through them because it’s the future! They are titled “What To Do?” & “How To Do It?,” respectively. Since terrorism is here to stay for the foreseeable future, it’s very important to read what the most powerful country in the world–the country with the largest army, largest stockpile of nuclear weapons & only God knows what else—is thinking about in terms of fighting terrorism.

Vengeance is a dish best served COLD

My roommate clued me in on this one. Pretty funny too. I’m sure the guys that frequently visit this page read this guys column all the time. I’m not so into sports so I never read ESPN. Keith (my roommate) says, “Bill Simmons is a genius!” Well, whatever he is, he writes a great column. Ladies and gentleman, please read Welcome to the Vengence Scale . There are some really good ones. #8.0 was the one my roommate told me about. #8.0, truly Vengence at its best.

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