Ratings – Jessica "Marry Me" Alba

Beautiful Ms. Alba
I could end my rating just with her photo, but I will not. I will do my best to put her beauty into words.

First, my rating: 7.8

Skull Structure: Similar to Angelina Jolie & ‘that’ Egyptian princess—you know, the ones who wore those golden Sphinx crowns & had long necks. I’m forgetting the name of the really beautiful one.

Yes, I’m a little bias with my score. Why? The lips. She’s looks like one of Angelina Jolie’s illegitimate children, but how can that be? Angelina Jolie, first of all, is crazy & secondly, she’s in her 30s, so logically Jessie cannot be one of her offspring. With this offspring question nagging me, I tried to find a photo of the parents, but no luck. Sorry, all you Alba stalkers.

Anyway, I digress. Where were we? Oh yes, the all mighty lips. Ms. Alba’s lips make me wonder whether she has ever gotten surgery, but then I zoom out from her lips to indulge on her entire face and see the ageless innocence in her eyes. My conclusion: She either has a very good surgeon or she has not gotten any surgery. This is Hollywood. Anything’s possible, baby.

Meet Our Visitors

In no particular order, here are some search strings people use to land onto our Lame site….

1. Jessica Simpsons Breast size
2. you got beef vietnamese gang music
3. ashlee simpson boobs [note: we’re a Simpson family website]
4. where is Ashlee Simpsons apartment located [note: This must be Samantha]
5. jackson wang blog
6. sexy stories or bad time stories in urdu language
7. Where is the apartment complex ashlee simpson lives in? [note: sick bastards!]
8. what hair dye did ashlee simpson use
9. baby fat and sexy and pic -cent -porn -nude -naked -food -children -breast [Note: By far one of the sickest ones]
10. naked pics of cameran the girl from the real world mtv [Note: Jackson, is this you? haha]

My analysis (It’ll be funny to hear yours’, as well): Our audience mainly consists of 10-15 year old girls, pervert boys, pervert men, little Vietnamese boys who want to be gangsters, Secret Vietnamese Militia members in the US and in Vietnam, Vietnam Nationals, and last but not least, someone who wants to know where Ashlee Simpson lives (a stalker, possibly?).

I love the 80's vs. I love the 90's

I love the 90’s, I feel that VH1 has released it too early, but its still funny. Its nice to go back down memory lane and see all the horrors of the century. Now, do you think I love the 80’s was more funny? I tend to think so just cause it was the first of its kind and again, the 90’s were only 4 years ago or so, way to early to go back into time. It feels as though some of those things just happened.

Regardless, Hal Sparks, Michael Ian Black and Mo Rocca are hilarious!

Primer: Keep Annoying People Away

Yes, the impossible can be made possible. These are tactics that work and work quick (from personal experience). I know because I have to deal with annoying people everyday of my pathetic life and I now have non-violent weapons to use in my defense. Read on, my friends, read on.

First, a disclaimer: This is in no way a bullet proof primer. Although, it has the potential to become bullet proof with stories from readers like yourself—particularly stories that give direct examples (in detail, if you have the time & patience) of how you successfully fended off annoying people in the past.

Secondly, what good is a primer without a clear-cut goal? So with that said, our main goal is merely to build a wall (the indestructible type) between yourself and this annoying person.

Now, in order to effectively defend yourself, you must gather intelligence on the enemy, right? That’s why I’ve created a harsh categorization of Annoying People I’ve encountered. I’m probably missing many others…

Philippines Withdraws Troops…

Are the tides truly turning or is this merely a game the Philippine government is playing with the terrorists? If it is indeed a game, I wouldn’t want to be living in that particular region in the weeks & months ahead, but if their decision to pull troops does in fact have a peaceful agenda, then it’s truly a beautiful thing. For God’s sake, one innocent man’s life has been saved. Don’t look at it like the man’s life will be sacrificed in the name of peace & future wellbeing of the human race (and blah blah blah). That is BS and the people who spit out such rhetoric know it in their hearts. If these people were asked to give up their own lives in the name of this type of questionable peace that attempts to conquer and then instill peace in the hearts & minds of people they conquer, would they do it? Who knows. All I know is that they would have to think about it for a second.

Also, by pulling their troops from the region, you must account for the lives of the aid workers—those lives are now spared from bombings, beheadings, etc etc. So technically, you are not just saving one life. Think about it: everything starts off slowly. Before a flood happens, there is always first little bit of rain, then a little more and eventually you got a bloody flood. This is the type of attitude that will end terrorism—forward thinking & going against the trend. The current trend is trying to root out terrorism, but how can you possibly root out the thoughts of poor people who are prepared to strap on a bomb and blow themselves up in the name of God. It’s impossible (actually not impossible, b/c you can technically kill everyone off until the people who remain are too afraid to commit acts of terrorism). Let’s face it, the tracks we’re on at the moment is long and murderously wrong.

Official: Britney is an Animal

Alex told the News of the World (world renowned for its reliability in delivering the hottest gossip) that Brit “made love to him so frantically that they fell off the bed.” This is a super hilarious article that just sounds so damn fake, but you be the judge. …and NO I didn’t read it all. This thing is damn long & full of such useless shit, but lets just say that if Alex did half of the crap he says he did, then he’s the man, baby.

Random NBA Photos

Arnold Bastardnager
Only Arnold would make a bet like this w/ another state’s Governor. Isn’t he supposed to be solving Cali’s DEBT problems? Moreover, I cannot believe he wants to be president—the sad thing is that people will vote for his ass! haha

How many Asians in the NBA now? I’m still waiting for a bloody Indian to make a debut! When that day comes, I’m sure the NBA outsourcing watchdogs will begin to bicker…

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