Bloody Sam's Club

I’m sorry. I try to stay away from expletives–especially in the titles, but you will soon find out that this is well placed. [It used to be “Fucking Sam’s Club,” but one of my co-workers requested it be changed before we get canned.]

Well, I’m @ Sam’s Club buying milk. Yes, Indians don’t rush to the grocery store down the street, they rush to the nearest freeway, then take an exit then drive 5 minutes down the road, pass a couple lights & enter a place that sells 10 lb bags of Bisquik Pancake mix. You see, when you’re Indian, you don’t ONLY notice the 0.20 cents you’re saving by purchasing milk @ Sam’s club b/c it’s far deeper than that. You compare the cost to the Phibe rupees per gallon that you’d normally pay in your ghetto village in India & then after simple exchange rate mathematics (we’re known for our on-the-spot math skills), you arrive at 0.20 cents equaling bloody pibtheen rupees. Now, the going price for 2 gallons of milk is roughly $3.30. That converts to bloody bun hudrhed thudthi rupees. [Don’t ask me why I’m fobbing-out the numbers]

And now…a random photo of the Indian currency to help pull you into reading this bullshit:
First, the bald dude is Gandhi…also known as Gayyndee in that 10 hr long PBS movie. Secondly, this is the 100 Rupee note (obviously) which worth roughly 2 bucks (i.e nothing). For those of you who are hicks (admit it), a Rupia is India’s (that country Clu-less Dobbs calls the outsourcing capital of the world) currency.

Hilton Sisters @ HQ x5 Opening

Here are some photos from the HQ x5 store opening in NYC.
These pics are rather large, but usefully large. I think Paris and Niki are beautiful girls & in these pics they are actually NOT dressed like sluts, so that’s definitely a good thing. Elegance is better than skankiness any day of the week (ok-ok, maybe 6 out of 7 days).

Hilton Sisters
See, what I mean? They actually look good.

Paris Head Shot
Look at the HORRIBLE nose job (her nose in the front is like like falling off her face). Notice the brown spot the right side of her lips. Badly concealed.

Lookin’ Nice
I think this is her best photo. Apart from that annoying brown spot and the nose, she’s very beautiful.

Crush of the Week

As all of you may or may not know. I live a sad sad life. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, maybe I go to the gym, and then I sit and watch countless hours of television. You name it, I think I’ve at least seen one episode. Since its summer all the tv shows are playing re-runs or what not. Nothing that good to watch. So what did I pick up? TV on dvds. Yup, during regular season you watch all the shows you watch, then on the off season you rent or buy the dvds of the other shows you didn’t watch. See how it all works out? And then if you have TiVo everything you wanted to watch will be handy.

What have I picked up? CSI. Goddamn its a good show. I have already admitted to being a nerd and now I will admit to being a science nerd. Sigh. I started watching half way through season 3 on tv. After three episodes I wanted to be a CSI. What did I do? I went down to my local Forensic Lab to check it out for myself. Needless to say, it wasn’t as glamourous as I thought it would be. And more importantly there was no Warrick Brown.


It's Official! Shaq is a Bastard!

Shaq is gone. There is definite Heat between the franchise & O’neal. He’s bloody threatening to take a lot of Lakers players to Miami along with him! “He said forwards Karl Malone and Robert Horry want to play in Miami, and guard Gary Payton might be interested.”
All hell is breaking loose:
-Malone is rumored to go to the Spurs.
-Gary is up in the air.
-Kobe needs to leave so that the Lakers can have to wiggle room under the cap.
-Lakers need to acquire Jason Kidd; Apparently he’s a little pissed @ how the franchise traded away PF Kenyon!

God Have Mercy!


Ok so I am extremely bored right now at work and I have stumbled upon Dave Chappelle’s page for his show on comdey central. The coolest thing about his site? You can pick from four different beats and then mix in some of his famous quotes and stuff. I found it quite hilarious. I suggest Hip-Hop and his Lil Jon. Whaaaaat? Hip-Hop and Rick James ain’t bad either.

Ratings – Jessica "Marry Me" Alba

Beautiful Ms. Alba
I could end my rating just with her photo, but I will not. I will do my best to put her beauty into words.

First, my rating: 7.8

Skull Structure: Similar to Angelina Jolie & ‘that’ Egyptian princess—you know, the ones who wore those golden Sphinx crowns & had long necks. I’m forgetting the name of the really beautiful one.

Yes, I’m a little bias with my score. Why? The lips. She’s looks like one of Angelina Jolie’s illegitimate children, but how can that be? Angelina Jolie, first of all, is crazy & secondly, she’s in her 30s, so logically Jessie cannot be one of her offspring. With this offspring question nagging me, I tried to find a photo of the parents, but no luck. Sorry, all you Alba stalkers.

Anyway, I digress. Where were we? Oh yes, the all mighty lips. Ms. Alba’s lips make me wonder whether she has ever gotten surgery, but then I zoom out from her lips to indulge on her entire face and see the ageless innocence in her eyes. My conclusion: She either has a very good surgeon or she has not gotten any surgery. This is Hollywood. Anything’s possible, baby.

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