Ratings – Macy Gray & Kimberly Locke

Beauty Definitely not UnLockedIn order to form an appropriate & consistent rating system of really bad & good looking individuals, I’m posting up two people Jackson mentioned in his Diana v. Fantasia post.

On a scale from 1-10, 10 being a person that I have yet to see in any industry or country in all my travels & thankfully, I have yet to see any 1s (but I’m sure the other authors can speak for themselves). I Think I have seen many 8s walking around, but 9s and 10s are close to impossible, my friends. Anyway, here are some 2s-2.5s. I’ll try to get a photo of a 1, so you can see the absolute worst in physical appearance. *

Letter from a Boy

Title of Letter: “Thou Shalt Do No Murder.”

To M. Herman Sneiders, Commandant of the National Guard of the Midelburg district.

Dear Sir,— Last week I received a document ordering me to appear at the municipal office to be, according to the law, enlisted in the National Guard. As you probably noticed, I did not appear, and this letter is to inform you, plainly and without equivocation, that I do not intend to appear before the commission. I know well that I am taking a heavy responsibility, that you have the right to punish me, and that you will not fail to use this right. But that does not frighten me. The reasons which lead me to this passive resistance seem to me strong enough to outweigh the responsibility I take.

Office Guilt

Office guilt is when all these people try to sell you crap (things ranging from boxes of chocolates to magazines to bloody, useless wrapping paper!) and you have to use new excuses each time to turn them down. The guilt that follows this act is ‘Office Guilt.’

Seriously, it’s like every day some woman will walk into my 6×6 rat hole and make their sales pitch. This pitch is sometimes longer than necessary and at other times a blatant attempt to steal your money from your wallet w/ no remorse.*

Diana vs. Fantasia

Another subject I wanted to touch on…

so I don’t really care about American Idol b/c Jasmine got voted off. That’s probably the same thing all other Lindsay Lohan / Olsen Twins sick bastaad fans like myself felt too.

btw, is it wrong for me to say that Lindsay Lohan has a nice rack? but anyways….back to the subject.

I’ve already commented on Fantasia having the Predator lips and I’m sorry but I don’t want some 19 year old who got knocked up and have a baby girl in a society that frowns upon un-wed mothers being the american idol. Her pure unattractiveness ranks somewhere between Macy Gray and Kimberly Locke.

Diana…can’t you see her as the Kool-Aid man bursting through the wall if she won and saying, “ooooooh yeah!” ..’cause I sure as hell can. Like, I’m sure if you put her on Atkins or the South Beach diet she could drop some poundage and be alright looking.

Now, they say Kelly Clarkson had a some fat when she won…I disagree. Kelly Clarkson is fine…she got a nice size dumpa on her and yeah, she’d totally be more fantasy masturbation material than frickin Diana and Fantasia. Jasmine as the American Idol would’ve given all those teenage boys and R.Kelly’s in the world to have another piece of jailbait to whack off to.

Cost Breakdown of Latest Visit to Uncle Rick's b/c of Taylor's Triple D's!!!

Alright, so I thought my first entry would appropriately be a strip club story and how foolishly we threw our money at Hot Taylor who had amazing Triple D boobies.

Well, in addition to spending money on Taylor; myself and JoeTheWorm spent some money on some other chicks.

Jackson – Joy, small petite Filipino girl that I’d like to break in half and hit on w/ no success. – $60

JoeTheWorm – Mae Lee, hot Korean/Chinese. She’d be first ballot hall of fame if there was such at Rick’s we done thought she retired by now. – $210

Total so far…$270… now to Taylor.

LL Eng – only one out of the 6 of us who had self-control over getting no more than one dance. $30

Rome Dawg – love the boobs, we paid for one, he ended up getting three. $90

Miya Morto – the shy one, we paid for one, but surprisingly he ended up with three. $90

Me – Miya Morto bought me one while I had enough money left for one too. Good thing I didn’t have anymore cash. Two total. $60

Buki – he never gets dances but we got him to get a three and he gave her a $10 tip. $100

JoeTheWorm – he started the night off with her and we bought him two but he ended up getting a lot than that. $210

Total money Taylor made off our table: $580

Total amount we spent that night at Ricks: $850

…yes, we are sick bastaads…….tee hee.

A-boo-boo Ga-Ga-rub

You would think the guy could at least learn to say the two words on everyone’s mind these days. Nevertheless, Bush’s Feel Good Speech #1 of many was entertainment until 10 mins into it, I decided to go outside and water my roses. You cannot listen to that crap too much because it starts to grow on you. It is made that way by design. You cannot listen to the same people who are helping to fan the flames of hate (yes, that’s a bad bad line) explain to you the state of a conflict gone awry. If you live on another planet and rarely watch TV, listen to the radio, read the newspapers or surf the web, then I really think you would’ve been vulnerable in believing that things are fine and dandy over there & America is very close to becoming more secure than it was on the morning of 9/11/01. Just look at some of the statements he made…

SUPER SIZE ME

For all that I live for, after I watched this movie … I will NEVER, or more importantly try really hard not to … eat fast food again. I would have to say that only on the ocassional munchie run or “I need to eat or I’ll yak” kinda situations will be the only reason I eat fast food.

Working a biopharmaceutical company that develops drugs for heart disease, I can see why the sudden interest in developing drugs for type II diabetes or finding the infinite fat blocker so to speak. America is straight OBESE!!! At least I know I have job security. If you haven’t heard, obesity has pretty much passed smoking as the major killer of people these days.

If you haven’t heard of it, its a movie about this guy who eats McDonalds 3 meals a day, everyday for a month. Yeah thats right a month. He starts out as a completely healthy guy. I really recommend this movie. I had a headache through the whole thing, and I think it gave me gas!!! Man … I don’t even feel like eating for the rest of the month. Anyway, its a great movie. If your diet is based on fast food, I recommend you either 1) watch the movie so you know what you are doing to your body or 2) don’t watch the movie and die of a fatty liver.

I really interesting point one of the guys made in the film was … people get heckled for smoking all the time, like “why do you smoke, do you know what you are doing to your body?” but its not ok to heckle an obese person cause its not PC, when in actuality, that obese person is doing the same amount of harm to their body as the smoking person. Hmmmmm. (and yes by the way, I have stopped smoking since january)

One word … GROOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

My Weak Bladder

At first I thought I had diabetes (I read somewhere that exessive urination is a common (early) symptom of diabetes–right?!), but that test came back negative (thank god). So I’m still wondering why I am forced to dash to the restroom 5-6 times a day–this is just while I’m at work, God damn it!

First, my liquid intakes include:
-1 cup of milk in the morning
-1 cup of coffee at 9:30
-1 glass of water @ around 1 (the cup is the same size as the coffee cup)
-1 cup of coffee at 2:30

I’ve already had 1 cup of coffee this morning and have used the restroom twice already. [Yes, I understand it’s pretty sad how I am currently writing about my peeing habits.] So, is there any cure? Stop drinking coffee? Ya, right. I’d literally die at work. You see, I don’t sleep much at night because I cannot sleep more than 5-6 hours, so I typically stroll to bed around 12-1, do a little reading and then crash at around 1:30. The 9:30AM coffee is to wake me up and get going & my only remedy to cure myself of the “1 PM heavy eye-lid & lazy yawn syndrome” is, of course, more coffee. I think coffee is the heartbeat of many-a-workplaces around the country and w/out coffee, the level of productivity would substantially drop! There is truth in that statement. There has to be some studies done on this. Anyway, I gotta go to the restroom, so I better end this here…no joke.

Personality Type: The Babbler

(This is a new series of Personality Types…as I notice them)

The Babbler has one goal: waste as much time as possible, while making it seem like they are extremely busy & stressed. My cube is next to this chick/woman (she’s in the awkward transition stage only because she has a kid, but is pretty young in age and mind herself. Unless she pops out one more kid, she’ll be in the chick/woman stage until nature takes its course and she gets older or of course, more mature). Well anyway, this womchick (pronouced Vhom’Chik) can babble on one topic endlessly w/ the use of repeated phrases, properly placed extremely loud (& definitely fake) laughs, unncessary shuffling & reshuffling of papers, & recitals of emails that ultimately repeat her repeated phrases.

Fahrenheit 911 – Releasing or What?!

“Fahrenheit 911” will be in theaters across the U.S. (and the rest of the world) this summer :-). For a second, I thought I might have to get my Middle Eastern buddy in LA to get me a bootleg, but watching this flick will just cost me the usual $15 at the theatre. Those thieves!

Apparently, the chiefs @ Miramax first forked out around $6 mil to make the movie & now they’ve forked out some more dough to buy the distro & profit rights off of Disney. Disney didn’t want the controversy surrounding the film to take away some of its tax breaks in the state of Florida. This is the same company that didn’t want to distribute the movie “Dogma” (not that it was any good) because it had some touchy issues w/ Catholicism. Very sad indeed.

I have a feeling that this movie will be very successful considering the cloud that sits over the entire 9/11 fiasco. No one really knows why the hell this tragedy occurred except the general reason: “because they hate us w/ a passion.” But at the end of the day, its exposure to the public is directly related to how many theatres are playing it, so considering how TV stations failed to air the names of the boys & girls who died in Iraq a month ago, I wouldn’t be surprised if this movie plays on only small indy-owned screens in larger cities. It is the small cities that are in dire need of exposure to all this crap—NOT SF & NYC!

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