Tag Archives: Bastardly Boob Reviews

Wow, Did Miranda Kerr Just Suffer A Wardrobe Malfunction From Heaven? OWW!

Miranda Kerr Wardrobe Malfunction - Boob Nipple Slip 1

I know this was posted in the comments earlier, but I figured we’d do an actual post with the GIFs so that this moment can stay in our archives—definitely in the top 25 from a total of 42,000 posts.

Remember how Miranda Kerr was recently in Miami Beach doing a photo shoot for her makeup line? Well, apparently she walking around on set wearing a simple tube-top dress when gravity flashed all her hardcore fans & sent them into a sudden state of euphoria. God damn! Which one of you bastards was praying for something like this to happen?

We’ll let the animated GIFs do the talking: Here, here & here.

DAYUM! Heidi Klum Made It Difficult To Concentrate @ Elton John’s Oscar Viewing Party

21st Annual Elton John Academy Awards Viewing Party held at West Hollywood

Heidi Klum hit Elton John’s Academy Award Viewing Party in West Hollywood dressed to get wasted & have sex with somebody—or at least she was dressed that way. I didn’t think Brandi Glainville would be out-done, but short of somebody going to an after-party in the nude, I think Heidi Klum will take the Horndogg Oscar for Best Dressed! So, did she breakup with her security guard boyfriend or what?

Kim Kardashian Desperate For Attention @ Clive Davis Pre-Grammy Party

Photo Credit: WENN

I think it’s safe to assume that Kim Kardashian was a popular person to hug while remembering Whitney Houston last night at the Clive Davis Pre-GRAMMY Gala held at the Beverly Hilton. If Kim & her mom weren’t such camera whores, you’d think they’d have the decency to make some last minute outfit changes, but knowing them, they probably used the event as a opportunity to whore themselves out even more. Pathetic.

This event went down while an investigation to Whitney Houston’s death was in progress on the hotel’s fourth floor.

Jordan Carver: Germany’s Answer To Christina Hendricks

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

These were snapped over the weekend (Saturday, Jan. 18) as German model Jordan Carver left nothing to the imagination as she left Mastro’s Steakhouse in Beverly Hills wearing a red dress that showcased her obscenely giant rack. I know Jordan’s catering to a very niche market of dudes, so this goes out to all you bastards…

Here’s more form Adult Wiki:

Jordan Carver JC is a Californian-based international glamour model. Actually, she is of Italian ancestry, but was born in Germany, and that is her second home country. She was born on 01.30.1986 and grew up in a little town. A couple of years ago she decided to go for a more creative job: the model business. At February 2010 she initiated her own website.

Jordan herself says: “Actually, it is the best time in my life! I can realize and live my greatest dreams! I can work as a model, which is my first passion. Furthermore I can travel and discover the different cultures in the world. Certainly I can produce exciting stuff for my site.”

All rumors about her living in a lesbian relationship are fictitious. This claim is based on the fact that she is single for a long time. (Added by JC Media)

Jordan says about it: Yeah, show me a man who does not burst with jealousy when I admired every day of 1000 men. My job and a happy relationship do not match. Someday I will find the right man and than he will be my priority.” [Read more]

To learn more about Jordan Carver, visit her official website.

FAKIES ALERT! Riley Steele @ 2010 ESPY Awards

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin
These were snapped a couple nights back in L.A.. More pics from the event here.

I didn’t really know who this chick when I first saw the name, but had a hunch it might be a porn star & then my hunch turned into 110% confirmation after seeing the first red carpet pic. I wonder which sports star Riley went home with following the ESPYs? Tiger’s out of the running, so any other guesses?

Believe it or not, but Riley has been cast for the upcoming 3D horror film “Piranha 3-D” as Crystal, one of the leading roles. Elisabeth Shue, Jessica Szohr & Kelly Brook are a few of the other hotties on the cast. Don’t know about you bastards, but I’m looking forward to this shit! The film will either be an instant success story or huge bomb—nothing in between. This chomps theaters on August 20th.

Melissa Archer & Her Juicy Daytime Emmys

I can’t believe we haven’t posted Melissa Archer before. All I gotta say is: God dayyyum!

Melissa Jean Archer (born December 2, 1979; Dallas, Texas) is an American soap opera actress.

Archer first appeared as “bad girl” Natalie Balsom on the ABC soap opera One Life to Live on July 16, 2001.[2] The character was later established to be the long-lost daughter of original character Victoria Lord Davidson, portrayed by multiple Daytime Emmy Award-winner Erika Slezak. [Source]

Christina Hendricks @ MET’s Costume Institute Gala

The annual Costume Institue Gala was held last night at NYC’s world famous Metropolitan Museum of Art. This year’s benefit’s theme was “American Woman: Fashioning a National Identity.”

Once again, even though her dress isn’t the most flattering of the pack, Christina Hendricks runs away with our coveted “Best Dressed Award”—thanks to her huge ass rack, of course. She could wear a garbage bag and as long as she’s showing off the gigantic mountains of love, she’ll always win the award.

If you like what you see, hit up her category.

Vida Guerra Celebrated Her 36th Birthday @ Vanguard Night Club! OW!

These were snapped yesterday.

The Cuban-born bombshell had a big birthday bash at the Vanguard Night Club in Los Angeles.

Even though she looks a lil’ burnt out in the face, you gotta admit, she still has a pretty slammin’ bod—regardless of all the plastic surgery! In her line of work (looking hot), you gotta do what you gotta do in order to stay in the game. Anyway, a big happy birthday to Vida! I know we’ve brown-bagged you over the years, but that doesn’t mean we don’t love you!

Hot or Not: Carolyn Hennesy Shows Off Her Aged Goodies

These were snapped at the 11th Annual Children Uniting Nations Oscar Celebration on Sunday.

Carolyn’s 47 and she’s on here, so that has to say something—or maybe we’re just focusing on some of her other assets…? Anyway, here’s more info about her:

Carolyn Hennesy (born June 10, 1962) is an American actress known for a recurring role on the television program Dawson’s Creek and starring in the 2002 action thriller Global Effect.
Hennesy was born in Los Angeles, California, the daughter of Oscar-winning art director Dale Hennesy, and a niece of actress Barbara Rush and cousin of Fox News reporter Claudia Cowan. She studied at the American Conservatory Theatre and the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. She is a veteran of many stage productions as well as the comedy troupes the Groundlings and the ACME Comedy Theater.[Source]

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