Brooke Burke may be a MILF, but you can’t deny the fact that she’s a dying franchise & literally on the edge of falling into Has-been Ocean. If she wasn’t a mommy, I would recommend going to the sex tape route in a desperate attempt to rejuvenate her career. And now, for a game…
The Bastardly Thought Process Game
My thought process when Brooke Burke comes into my mind goes something like this…
1. Start with: Boobs
2. Brooke running nude on the beach…
3. Funny nose
4. Wild On
5. Playboy layout
6. End with: When will Jessica Alba do Playboy?
See what I mean? She has very little going for.
On that note, let’s check out a few pics of Brooke w/ the Burger King dude.
So the inevitable finally came to pass: Brooke Burke left her plastic surgeon hubs. Three reasons come to mind:
1. She was finished getting all the free plastic surgery; nose, cheeks, chin, eyes, you name it & Brooke probably got it!
2. The sex was getting boring (of course)
3. Since she has a kid, she’ll be collecting some dough & not have to deal w/ the bullshit of married life.
If there was a number 4, it would probably be irreconcilable differences, but that’s a given in every divorce, right?
Primer On Sexing Up Newly Single Brooke
So to all the guys who have been waiting for this day to arrive, you better hurry! I’m assuming @ this point in her life, the last thing Brooke wants is commitment. She just wants sex—plain, dirty, hair-pulling, rough, noisy, western sex!!
Once again, any mention of becoming Neriah’s (her daughter) father or wanting a long-term relationship, Brooke will automatically reject your applications for sexual relations (this includes clothed-sex-making-out sessions). Keep it simple & enjoy the Brookooty! Ow!
Just in case you forgot, here’s another pic of Brooke…
My dreams have been answered and Brooke Burke has once again graced the cover of Playboy and given us pages to stare at her amazing body and oh so delicious boobies (though they are after-market bolt-ons). But who cares if she got fake titties….her exotic mix of ethnicities makes her so goddam hot that I just wanna stare at that face and the slimmy toned body.
You might recall that she posed for Playboy back in May 2001. Now that was an amazing pictoral too. I have Brooke to thank for getting me through some lonely nights and I bet so do a bunch of you other horny guys out there! Now, we got more ammo to help us through the lonely nights. Thank you Brooke!!!!
Okay, so to compare the two pictorals. I honestly have to say the one from May 2001 was a little better. In this one she shows the titties but no real money shots. Atleast in the first pictoral she was completely naked in all the pics. In this one she wears some belt thingy so we gotta just try to look hard through it or just imagine what goodies lie beneath. Overall though, I’m still glad to have purchased my copy yesterday. Brooke is so goddam hot that if I just saw even one boob in person I think I’d be horny for a week.
…okay, besides the Brooke pictoral I thought I’d comment on the others in the issue.
Miss Teen USA poses nude…oh yes, this has caused a scandal in the beauty pageant world. Okay, this chick is like 19…but goodness she is fine! Her body is sweet and tasty looking. 19…that’s all I gotta say. Nice and tight all over….god, i’m a sick fiend…I swear, it’s a sickness!!!
Playmate of the month is that chick Cara from Road Rules South Pacific and she was on The Inferno. Now, okay, I watched some of that Road Rules and The Inferno and I thought she was a cutie but I didn’t think she was Playboy material. Like on that Road Rules they had that Mary Beth chick who posed for Playboy and she had a smokin body…but Cara was a cutie that didn’t have a total smokin body. Well, I guess things done changed. Damn, her body is fucken tight!!! Have mercy on me but damn, she’s rised fast on the tastibility scale. If you’re not a Brooke fan, this chick is a Mtv reality show star so you should buy it for her!!!!
Overall, this is a great issue of Playboy….all you horny guys out there run out to your local corner store and pick up your copy today!!!!!!!!