I’ll be honest, this list could’ve been much longer, but we’re trying to keep our lists short & sweet for added oomph. Let’s throw some eggs…
Lily Allen: I’m sorry, but Lily Allen needs to fade away again. I guess it will all depend on whether her upcoming third studio album crashes & burns or breaks records. As most of you bastards know, we’ve made plenty of downfall predictions (Justin Bieber, Katy Perry & every other annoying artist) over the past TEN YEARS (yes, it’s been that long!) and we’ve been wrong each and every time, so instead we’ll do the opposite from now, all in the hopes to jinx artists. On that note, Lily Allen’s third studio album will be so wildly successfully that it will roll Adele over the edge and convince her to lose a lot of weight that will ultimately lead to a comeback Grammys performance featuring the once-fat-but-so-talented-singer running around the stage wearing a zebra-print leotard.
Maggie Gyllenhaal: Let’s just say, if Maggie was 83-year-old actress making her final red carpet appearance, this dress would be perfect.
Sally Hawkins & Jemima Rooper: Normal-looking chicks in fat-girl dresses = not hot! What the hell do women see in the mirror when they wear stuff like this anyway? Sally & Jemima, please chime in below in the comments with a short answer…
Lily Allen says that she’s retiring from music and supposedly this performance at the Wireless Festival was her final in the UK “for some time”. She agreed to the gig knowing that she’d be opening for Jay-Z.
Also, since she stopped performing, she’s gained 7 pounds and is fine with it.
“When I was on tour earlier in the year, I would be on stage for one and a half hours a night. So since the tour finished, I have put on about half a stone (seven pounds).
“But I do Pilates three times a week. I am still body conscious, but I’m not so concerned with it. I don’t care as much.” Source
while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by Moe14
Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin
Damn, Lily Allen’s looking weird here.
It looks like she’s morphing into an stocky linebacker (a la old school Hilary Duff). For those of you Lily Allen haters, here’s some refreshing news:
In September 2009, Allen stated that she sees no way that she could ever make a profit making new records. Allen plans to take a break following her remaining 2010 concerts. She has discussed plans to write for other artists, launch a record label and open a fashion rental shop during this hiatus.[Source]
These were snapped over the weekend as Lily Allen was spotted driving around London in her brand new Ford Focus RS. We’ll assume the car was a free gift from Ford’s marketing department. We’re not against the Fords, but couldn’t the company have found someone hotter to pimp their car?