Pictured: Lindsay Lohan; Charlie Sheen & Lindsay Lohan; Ashley Tisdale
We haven’t done the math to calculate the exact number, but we’re pretty sure the total number of time spent behind bars by all attendees was upwards at least 12 years. We’re still working on making estimates for…
1. Total amount of alcohol consumed by Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan & Mike Tyson
2. Total amount of money spent on cocaine, marijuana & prescription drugs by Charlie, Lindsay & Mike.
If any of you bastards can make make educated estimates, please do so below in the comments.
Anyway, “Scary Movie V” is officially ready to be trashed by everyone who watches it! The fact that this is the fifth film in the series is proof that kids will undoubtedly go watch it—at least we hope they do for the sake of everyone involved.
Moving on to the attendees on the red carpet:
Ashley Tisdale looks way overdressed for the event. I guess the next stop for Ash is “Dancing With The Stars” b/c I feel like her career fizzled out before even fizzling. So sad.
The beautiful Heather Locklear was on the red carpet with her 15-year-old daughter Ava Sambora. WHAT THE FUCK ARE KIDS EATING THESE DAYS?! Unbelievable how that chick is only 15 b/c I thought she was AT LEAST 18. Thank God for Wikipedia.
And finally, I love the photo of Mike Tyson pretending to eat Charlie Sheen. If I ever meet Iron Mike, that will be the photo I want, damn it! Fucking awesome!
Pictured: Jerry O'Connell, Heather Locklear & Ava Sambora, Mike Tyson & Lakiha Spicer
Pictured: Mike Tyson & Charlie Sheen; Marisa Saks, Kate Walsh
Plot (not like anybody gives a shit):
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In Scary Movie 5, happily-married couple Dan and Jody begin to notice some bizarre activity once they bring their newborn baby Aiden home from the hospital. But when the chaos expands into Jody’s job as a ballet dancer and Dan’s career as an Ape researcher, they realize their family is being stalked by a nefarious demon. Together, with the advice of certified experts and the aid of numerous cameras, they must figure out how to get rid of it before it’s too late.