Note to all bastards: This is a new column we’re testing, so let us know your thoughts. Our goal will be to feature the day’s top headlines with our take. It’ll mostly be entertainment headlines, but it’ll also feature other topics that we find interesting. As always, leave your thoughts in the comments!
Lindsay Lohan arrested in NY for hitting pedestrian
Sadly, the biggest entertainment news this morning is STILL Lindsay Lohan’s stupid arrest. I still think this is a promotional stunt put on by the Indian dude who owns the Dream New York located in NYC’s Meatpacking District. Lindsay was at the hotel’s big launch party last year & seeing how she’s so desperate to A) stay in the limelight & B) make a few easy bucks, we wouldn’t be surprised if this was a promotional stunt gone somewhat wrong. No worries, Lindsay fans, considering she’s rich & white, I’m pretty sure the NYPD will treat her with love & respect.
Shakira Pregnant With First Child!
As most of you heard, Shakira’s pregnant with her first kid w/ Barcelona soccer star Gerard Pique. The booty shaking pop star from Colombia is 35, so it’s about time she took a breather from touring & concentrated on her family life. If Sofia Vergara is an example of how Colombian women turn out following pregnancy, then we have nothing to worry about. Shakira’s going into her pregnancy with a rock-hard abs, a freakishly tight booty & a body in tip-top shape, so even if she gains a 20-30 pounds, she should have no problems in returning to her bootlicious glory. And if she doesn’t, we always YouTube & our Shakira category.
Upsets, drama in store for TV’s big Emmy night
As you bastards know, the Emmys are on Sunday, so get ready for a ton of red carpet hotness—at least we hope so! We always like featuring that hot, somewhat D-List TV star who’s doing her best to steal the spotlight by ho’ing it up on the red carpet. Even though most women will be rocking over-the-top, designer gowns & pretending like they’re on the red carpet at the Oscars, we hope there are a few ladies who keep it tight, short & busty. If the Emmy red carpet disappoints, the after parties never do, so look for full coverage here. Also, Jimmy Kimmel will be hosting the gig, so tune in for his standup. The guy never disappoints!!
Amanda Bynes: Why Do People Care About Her?
Don’t know about you bastards, but I personally can’t recall one recent project starring Amanda Bynes, so why does this chick get all the attention in the media? Aside from having great legs, she still has that somewhat swollen, chipmunk face, so there’s not much going in the looks department either. Taking all that into consideration, the only logical conclusion we can make is that Amanda is the entertainment media’s new Britney or Lindsay Lohan. People love to see a crash & burn story and who can do it better than a chick who does something stupid each & every day of her life? Remember Britney or even more recently, Lindsay Lohan? It’s almost like Amanda’s agent is throwing her under the bus each afternoon as she goes about running errands. Does Amanda actually think the “bad press is better than no press” mantra will land her a decent gig of these days? We have a feeling heavy alcohol & drug abuse is in the very near future (that’s assuming she isn’t already drinking & using already, of course).
More headlines that caught our eye:
‘X Factor’ Reveals Demi’s ‘Girl Crush,’ Finds Diamond In The Rough
Kelsey Grammer Walks Out on Piers Morgan
Porker Face! Has Lady Gaga put on 2st on the ‘drunk diet’?
The Hobbit: What We Know So Far About Peter Jackson’s Epic Trilogy
Actress in anti-Muslim film to ask for injunction
Stewart-Pattinson Reconciliation: True Love Or Box Office Brilliance?