Tag Archives: Random Rants

Cashley Booed Again – at Big Sol’s Wedding!

Sol Campbell on a stroll with his new wife Fiona Barratt

England’s favourite villain ASHLEY COLE is hated so much that he was booed at one of his best friends’ weddings. Arsenal Defender SOL CAMPBELL finally tied the knot with Fiona Barratt last week having dated her for four years. His posh wedding, held in an 8th Century-Old Northumbrian (near Newcastle, yankees) Church attracted many of his fellow celebrity-friends including popular chef AINSLEY HARRIOT, Sol’s ex-Arsenal team-mates MARTIN KEOWN & DAVID SEAMAN as well as Manchester United’s RIO FERDINAND. Cashley was to bare the brunt of the day however. He turned up alone (surprise, surprise) and his entrance was showered with being booed, as a deserved substitute for confetti.

Someone at the wedding said “The crowd was having real fun cheering famous guests. But when Cole arrived he got booed. He definitely heard it.”

It’s believed that one of the main reasons for this occuring was due to the fact that the wedding took place very near to Newcastle, where Cashley’s amazingly hot Geordie ex-wife CHERYL TWEEDY was born and brought up. I’d disagree. I think he’d have got abused even worse if the wedding was in Vienna, Tokyo or Fiji.

Cole – NO one likes you, wherever you go. You remain the world’s biggest ASS.

Look on for more wedding-snaps.

Share A NYC Taxi: The New Place To Meet Hot Chicks & Celebrities! Ow!

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

I was hoping to get these pics up yesterday when the news first broke, but I couldn’t find some of my favorite women standing next to a taxi. Thankfully, that problem has since been resolved, so here’s Bastardly’s take on NYC’s plan to give the car-pooling experience to people sharing a cab, with two or more passengers riding together to nearby locations in the city.

From a Bastardly perspective, “two or more passengers” really means “two more hot women,” so this is totally a win-win situation from all angles. Dudes desperate for action…

1. Get the chance to sit next to hot, rich women—w/ the possibility for exchanging numbers to schedule a later meeting, which might lead to sex (possibly is better than nothing, right?)
2. Save money on the ride
3. Don’t pollute as much
4. And, of course, allow cabbies to earn more dough!

So, have you ever wanted to ride a cab with say supermodels like Gisele Bundchen or Miranda Kerr? Well, you could soon be doing just that (assuming they want to share a cab, that is)! Since we have a habit of taking things too far, we’ve compiled a batch of pics of celebrities getting into NYC cabs…

Celebrity Baby Pics: Can You Guess The Celebrity Behind The Pic?

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

We recently got our slimey hands on a few celebrity baby photos, so we’ll let you guys take a stab at guessing which celeb goes with each picture.

Bastardly Gaydar Rating
No worries about the homosexual nature of this task. Since you’re performing this online, it’s really not as gay as it sounds. Now, if you were to meet up at your bro’s house specifically to look over celebrity baby pictures, then it’d be a whole different ball game.

Anyway, each celebrity pic has a number, so make sure you include the number w/ your answer

Woman With Longest Legs Poses With World's Shortest Man

Photo Credit: Splash News

I know this has no biz being posted on Bastardly, but since we love all things freaky, we figured this might get your attention.

Say hello to our two potential sex tape partners (hey, it’s possible!): The world’s shortest living man – 20-year-old He Pingping from China, who is 74.61cm tall & Svetlana Pankratova from Russia, who has the longest legs of any woman in the world – 132 cm.

The couple posed in Trafalgar Square in London to launch the new Guinness Book Of World Records 2009.

OH MY GOD! The Bastardly Helps Cure a Porn Addiction!!

That’s Haley Paige from the 2006 AVN Awards in Vegas. She mysteriously died this past August. Read more about her death in the comments section over here & on her Wiki page.

Actually, it was this post that’s responsible for the cure & here’s the comment that further explains things…

I am a former Porn Addict. I say former, because from this day forward I am going to be free of this horrible destructive addiction. And Maryam is helping me to realize how wrong it is! (I’ll explain this in a minute) As an addict, I’ve lost connection with how to be intimate with my girlfriend in a healthy loving way, I can’t always look at a women without impure disgusting thoughts creeping into my head about them and it has actually lead to me and my girlfriend falling out of the love. She cheated on me because she found out about my addiction to porn, something I at the time didn’t consider “cheating” BUT IT IS!!! IT IS WRONG!! The people on the other end of the screen are real as you can see, and live VERY SAD AND TORTURED LIVES. NONE of them are happy, and we are led to believe in the lie that the porn industry sells us, and that the girls want to be there and that they love what they are doing. THIS COULD NOT BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.
Today I found “The truth about the fantasy of porn” An article written by former porn star Shelley Lubben. After I read it, I felt disgusted to my stomach with myself. How could I actually have believed in the lies I was being told all this time? Just an innocent fantasy!?!? ANYTHING BUT!!! I then went to Shelly’s Website, and Myspace page, and saw a slideshow on all the actresses who have died tragically as a result of this hideous and deceptive industry, and the prostitute trade, and I saw that Haley was the newest one to die this way tragically, however the picture this time was not of Haley, it was of her coffin. That really drove it home. Then I came to this site, and felt disgusted at seeing the picture above and wished I could just see a picture of her looking decent, the way I’m sure she wished she wanted to. Because she was a person with all the same thoughts as you or I and with dreams just like you and I, but she was not as fortunate as you and I. And then I saw all the comments people were making and that made me soooooooo angry! I’m angry that people think this way about women, like they are nothing but objects, (sagging breasts, must be “perfect” like a product. Hey guess what! sagging breasts are f*ing natural! I think they are more attractive because they are natural! But I don’t want to look at her that way anymore. She doesn’t deserve me violating her body by looking at it without her permission.) that I believed in these lies too, but most of all that these poor girls are being abused, exploited, used up, thrown out, treated like garbage, forced to do things they can not stand, and eventually that they feel there is no other alternative then to kill themselves. HOW DARE WE!! She is beautiful, and I know that despite all the torture and destruction she had to endure, she had a beautiful soul. And she never even got the chance to find her dreams, AND IT IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR!!! Do yourselves a favor people and look up Shelley Lubben. Find out the truth about this industry. Maryam you were a beautiful person, and you deserved so much better. I am so sorry you had to leave us too early in life! But know that your death did not happen in vein! You are helping me! And I hope your story will help many others! [Haley Paige at AVN 2006 in Las Vegas]

Writers Guild of America Strike: A Bastardly Take

This comes from Beans @ The Bastardly Society:

Producers should:

1. Drive to the zoo.

2. Borrow some monkeys

3. Put said monkeys into a room with a bunch of typewriters.

4. ?????

5. Profit.

Hollywood writers are delusional. Their job is cake, they keep recycling the same crap over and over. They probably have a choose your own adventure template they use and bust out a screenplay in an afternoon. [Source]

Studios Hit Back At WGA Strikers, Threaten Job Cuts
‘Lost’ could be a loser if writers stay out on strike
Can the Web benefit from writers strike?

“Donate to Wikipedia, You Bastard!!” Week @ The Bastardly

This week, the plan is to get hot celebs to ask for donations for the Wiki. Help fund the greatest source of information everrr compiled by mankind. Since our donation to the Wiki Foundation, two people (Wei Tat Lee & Anonymous) have already donated. We’ll take credit for those two donors & all the ones until the end of our donation drive.

As you guys know, we use & abuse Wikipedia’s services week in & week out. The Wiki helps us to discover odd things about celebrities we post daily, as well as learn about new d-list celebs who have a great rack & a pretty face. Besides whoring out the Wiki for celeb-filler information w/in our posts, I’ve heard from some friends that Wikipedia also spreads other types of knowledge which is non-celebrity related (we’ll take their word for it…).

So w/ that in hand…DONATE TODAY!!!

As of this second, nearly $370 has trickled into the foundation following our donation. Our donation & donation drive will result in millions for the foundation. I’m getting all teary eyed as I write this, by the way…

Complex Platinum Club: Open For Pimpdaddy Business

It’s so damn exclusive that you need a bloody invite just to get in! Here’s what they have to say…

Aptly titled, the Complex Platinum Club, we’ve opened the doors to our exclusive invite-only retail store. Resting atop of heavyweight sneaker shop Training Camp’s 41st Street location in NYC, the Complex store stocks impressive threads form MHI, Penfield, Staple, Modern Amusement, WESC, as well as footwear from Jordan, Y-3, Clae, Supra (Gold Skytops) and more. [Complex Magazine]

So, do you live in NYC & want access? Go here for a special invite.

Since Complex is a unique mag w/ two distinct sides: one side for the consumer dude & the other side for the consumer dude turned horndogg bastard, I’m assuming Complex has plans to hire really hot chicks to work @ the store. If that’s the case, we’re keeping our bastardly fingers crossed for…

1. Hot chicks who change your clothes for you in the dressing room,
2. Or possibly hot chicks who give massages as you try on endless pairs of limited edition kicks,
3. Or maybe gold digging, hot chicks who go to dinner w/ you once the Platinum Club closes down @ 7:30p.

We’re still waiting for confirmation on all those juicy details, so you can either wait for more info or head to the store & check for yourself!

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