Tag Archives: Adriana Lima

Adriana Lima’s Virginal GQ Photoshoot…it HURTS!

Well folks, here it is…the pictures from the issue where Adriana Lima spills the truth about being a virgin. These pictures pain me so much that I just couldn’t garner up the strength to add in those witty/sarcastic/offensive Bastardly quotes you’d expect.

You figure that this photoshoot must have had more blue balls than the ball tank at your local Chuck-E-Cheese. I bet these guys (assuming they’re all not gay..but not like there’s anything wrong with that!) signed up for this gig before knowing Adriana is a virgin in hopes that they’d be able to seduce her with the bulge of their package and have uncontrolable sex with her. I’m not even going to rag on these suckas…you almost feel bad for these guys.

In conclusion:

1) A lot of wanking happened behind the scenes…or gay sex in desperation & frustration (eww!)

2) Whoever gets to take Adriana’s cherry will be the luckiest bastard in the world…surpassing DAMN YOU CASH WARREN status.

3) As Irish Maddog would say…time to “rub one out”.

IT HURTS!!!!

Ana Beatriz Barros & Adriana Lima Do Photo Magazine

The only person this layout is missing is me in between their naked bods. It’s nice to fantasize every once in a while, right? Don’t answer that.

First of all, we should all be thankful to The Lord for creating the delicious eye candy that is Ana Beatriz Barros, but, just like w/ anything else that’s posted on here, I just have one simple gripe. I know Ana is a super model & all, but I’ve seen some of her shoots in which she looks sickly skinny. I mean, above the neck it’s still Whaaabhaam, but I find myself cringing as my eyes stroll south. I almost feel like redirecting some of our bastardly donations from Petra Nemcova’s Happy Heart’s Fund to Ms. Beatriz-Barros (just incase the modeling income isn’t helping w/ pesky grocery expenses).

Enjoy the layout!

Adriana Lima To Be Tommy Lee'd?!?!


You don’t say!

Yes, that’s what the bullshitters @ SF Gate have conjured up in their creative writing department. This slipped by, so here’s the scoop in all it’s glory…

Rocker Tommy Lee has his sights set on supermodel Adriana Lima.
The Motley Crue drummer has been seen out and about with Tara Reid recently,
but insists, “I’m single and just lovin’ it.”

But that will change if he ever hooks up with Sports Illustrated covergirl
Lima.

He says, “Adriana is stunning. She’s unbelievable. She’s smoking. I would
love to date her.” [SF Gate]

So sadly, Tara & Tommy were engaged only @ the hip—even that engagement lasted only for so long. Regardless, we all know that Tommy Lee has one of the largest Peniseseses in the world & that Adriana Lima is a super petite model straight out of the ghettos of Brasil. So with that tidbit in hand, once Tommy is through with Adriana, will she be able walk or model ever again?!

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