Tag Archives: Butterface Brownbaggers

Does Bikini-Clad Autumn Brooke Deserve The Brownbag Treatment?

Autumn Brooke Shows Off Her Bikini Body In Miami

Some of you bastards might be wondering, “What the fuck is wrong with Moe?”

Well, I got only 2 hours of sleep last night & I’ve only drank a couple cups of coffee (three more to go!), so maybe I’m not seeing shit properly.

I’ll be completely honest: This is one of those rare cases where the face simply doesn’t live up to the body because any heterosexual dude in his right mind is probably going start exploring Autumn Brooke’s body from her ass up & as your eyes make the mountainous journey up north, you’re expecting to something amazing. I’m sure if you start from the head & work your way down, the first impression might be different. To each his own, but please don’t take any offense by the bag, Autumn.

I gotta give Autumn for practicing the World Famous Jessica Alba Pose!

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‘Hobbit’ Event in WeHo: Jena Malone Gives Off Buttaface Vibe

"The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug" Expansion Pack Kabam Mobile Game Launch Party

Anybody else getting the same vibe? Judging by the way Jena Malone is showcasing her legs, I’m pretty she knows what’s up, as well. These photos were snapped at ‘The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug’ mobile game party held in West Hollywood. You can get more info on how you can play the game at Kabam >>>

As for the film, check it out in theaters this weekend! And, make sure you buy plenty of soda & popcorn before heading into the theater because this one will cost you 2 hours and 40 minutes (about 8 minutes shorter than the first film in the series)!

Butterface Valeria Marini Hits The Red Carpet At The 8th Rome Film Festival

RIFF - Racconti D'Amore Premiere

With all the VS Fashion Show keeping us fairly busy, this was sitting on the back burner. I’m sure some of you guys will enjoy Valeria Marini. We’ve been covering her for years & it appears her body keeps getting hotter while her face is…is…well, we’ll leave that for you guys to decide.

These were snapped last night at the ‘Racconti D’Amore’ film premiere as part of the 8th Annual Rome Film Festival in Italy.

Lauren Stoner Hits Up Banana Republic; Obviously Not Dating Michael Bay Anymore

Exclusive... Lauren Stoner Shopping In Miami

She we point out in every Lauren Stoner post, she used to be one of Hollywood bigwig Michael Bay’s plaything for a few weeks (see pics here), but judging by the fact that’s shopping at Banana Republic of all places, we have to assume times are rough.

With amazing legs like hers, you’d think Lauren would have no trouble scoring another sugar daddy who’ll treat her to the finer things in life (i.e. shopping trips to Paris, few days on luxury yachts off the coast of Monte Carlo, a few luxurious nights in the Maldives, etc.), but apparently, that’s the not the case.

Damn, What The Hell Happened To Tori Spelling’s Face?

**EXCLUSIVE** Tori Spelling sneaks out of the studio after taping appearances on 'Breakfast Television' and 'Cityline' in Toronto

Oh wait, it’s always been like that, huh? I’m pretty sure she got a few procedures done recently because that doesn’t look normal. We’re not kidding when we say ‘REMOVE WITH CAUTION’ as you bastards will soon find out…

These were snapped earlier today following Tori’s appearance on the morning shows ‘Breakfast Television’ and ‘Cityline’ in Toronto. The reality TV star is obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel considering she’s in the city promoting McCain’s ‘Deep ‘n Delicious’ cakes—whatever the fuck that is.

The Buttakini: Alice Eve Works Her Bikini Bod in Miami

English actress Alice Eve shows off her curves in a tiny striped bikini, as she catches some rays poolside in Miami

She’s probably not butta if she’s done up, but I think it’s safe to say that Alice Eve’s face & hair are definitely getting in the way of these latest photos of the English singer workin’ her bikini body while vacationing in Miami.

For those of you who don’t know much about Alice Eve (we’re on the same boat), here’s more juice:

Alice Sophia Eve[1] (born 6 February 1982) is an English actress, known for her roles in films including She’s Out of My League, Sex and the City 2, and Men in Black 3. She also stars in the recent The Decoy Bride.

Update: We got ADDS in the Gallery!!

Aged Butta: Gloria Estefan’s Niece Lili Looks More Like Her Cross-Dressing Uncle.

Lili EstefanPhoto Credit: Pacific Coast News

Apologies to Lili Estefan in advance. I woke up this morning in a horrible mood & the first batch of photos I saw were these, so we had to bust out the brown bag. If it means anything, Lili Estefan looks really hot in 150×150 thumbnails, but don’t we all? And for the record, she’s the niece of music producer Emilio Estefan and the niece-in-law of 55-year-old Gloria Estefan.

The 45-year-old Cuban/American TV personality was spotted in NYC yesterday afternoon & currently the host of El Gordo y la Flaca on Univision.

Environmentally Conscious Cameron Diaz Hides Face Using Tube, Saves A Brownbag!

Cameron DiazPhoto Credit: Pacific Coast News

If more not-so-good-looking people with hot bodies followed the rule, just think of how many Bastardly Brownbags we can shave in a twelve month period! Major props to Cameron for finally realizing what’s up.

These photos were snapped yesterday as Cameron Diaz arrived at her NYC hotel wearing a white Tee & barely-there short-shorts that perfectly highlighted her best assets, her legs. The 39-year-old former hottie’s only film set to release this fall is “Gambit,” which also stars Colin Firth, Alan Rickman & Stanley Tucci. The film is a remake of the 1966 British movie starring Shirley MacLaine and Michael Caine. Here’s some plot juice:

“A British art curator, Harry Deane (Colin Firth), devises a finely-crafted scheme to con England’s richest man and avid art collector, Lionel Shabandar, (Rickman) into purchasing a fake Monet painting. In order to bait his buyer, he recruits a Texas rodeo queen (Cameron Diaz) to cross the pond and pose as a woman whose grandfather liberated the painting at the end of WWII.” (Source)

Here are a few of Cameron heading to the gym with her trainer in NYC (Warning: Cameron’s face is visible):
Cameron Diaz WorkoutPhoto Credit: Pacific Coast News

Mary Carey Wore Her Gucci Brownbag To Dinner @ Katsuya Last Night

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

The former porn star Mary Carey was all smiles (under the brownbag) as she was seen dining at Katsuya Hollywood. Since we haven’t posted Mary Carey in a while, here’s some Wiki action:

Mary Carey (born June 15, 1980) is an American pornographic actress.

After her grandfather’s death, her grandmother’s health worsened and Carey took a job as an exotic dancer to help support the family financially. Upon noticing that the “feature dancers” made much more money, she asked an agent how she could become one too. The agent recommended that she become a porn star (the large fan base that successful porn stars have gives them superior drawing power when they dance in-person at strip clubs). Carey travelled to Los Angeles and made the rounds of the adult-film producers and studios, eventually landing a job with Playboy TV.[4]

She was featured on VH1’s reality series Celebrity Rehab, and has appeared in more than 80 adult films.[4] She has a product line with Doc Johnson adult toy company, she has authored a book, and she is currently developing a TV series with GoGo Luckey. She appeared in VH1’s series Sober House, which premiered in January 2009. [Source]

Aged Butta: Jada Pinkett Smith Needs To Choose More Age-Appropriate Dresses To Promote “Madagascar 3″

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

We get it, you’re ultra-fit & unbelievably desperate to have your time in the limelight after your world-famous hubby just dropped one of 2012’s biggest films, but did Jada Pinkett Smith forget that she did a voice-over in a children’s cartoon?!? Not that any little kids will ever see these photos, but it’s more than obvious that JPS is relishing every second of this film’s promotional efforts.

I know we’re gonna get a lot of hate for the brownbag, but when you’re in the business of calling it like is, you gotta dish out the hate very decisively, even if it means we’ll probably be taken out by one of Will Smith’s hired guns before the weekend is over. On that note, if you can’t access the site on Monday morning, you can assume it isn’t server load issues (for once).

Anyway, 40-year-old Jada Pinkett Smith has been in NYC doing a lot of promotional work for DreamWorks Animation’s latest feature “Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted,” which boasts voices from a long list of celebrities including Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer, Jada Pinkett Smith, Frances McDormand, Sacha Baron Cohen, Cedric the Entertainer, Andy Richter, and others.

This goes without saying, but major props to Jada for keeping things thin & tight. For those of you who decide to remove the brown bag, can you tell whether she’s going under the knife? I wouldn’t be surprised considering A) she’s filthy, filthy rich & B) calls Beverly Hills home.

Celebrity Leftovers Bring The Morning Links!

Photo Credit: WENN
Pictured: Carmen Electra at Chateau Nightclub in Las Vegas. Crystal Harris hosts ‘Sexy Party’ at Crazy Horse III and Posh Boutique nightclub Las Vegas. Fergie Voli Light Vodka’s celebrate the launch of Don-A-Matrix Training in Beverly Hills. Mollie Thomas at 2012 Human Rights Campaign Los Angeles.

– Welcome To The Exact Moment Alexander Skarsgard Knocked Up Brooklyn Decker [The Superficial]
– Lindsay Will Sue The Man She Hit With Her Car If He Keeps Saying She Hit Him With Her Car [IDontLikeYouInThatWay]
– The 20 Hottest Photos of Natasha Wicks [Heavy]
– Rosie O’Donnell’s Staffers Were Terrorized [Dlisted]
– Most Expensive Handbags [Ranker]
– Well Played, Elizabeth Banks [Go Fug Yourself]

– Cintia Dicker Gets Sexy for Men’s Health [GCeleb]
– Did Kermit the Frog screw around on Miss Piggy with Rashida Jones? [Celebitchy]
– Kate Hudson in a bikini before and after boob job and baby [Lainey Gossip]
– Izabel Goulart Pants Off in Harper’s Bazaar Spain APril 2012 of the DAy [Drunken Stepfather, NSFW]
– Playboy Playmate April 2012, Raquel Pomplun [Caveman Circus]
– Leighton Meester in Marie Claire [Skinny VS Curvy]

– Kim Kardashian Sports Colored Denim, Still Doesn’t Impress Jon Hamm [Socialite Life]
– Alexis Texas And Jayden James? Yes Please! [Diry Rotten Whore, NSFW]
– Parent of the Year 2012 award goes to… [TC Magazine]
– Michelle Lewin is Muy Caliente [Uncoached]
– Catherine Tyldesley and Holly Madison Warm Up, Already Hot [COED Magazine]
– Zombie Girls: They Wanna Suck Your Brains [Gunaxin]

– Myths of Casual Sex [Holytaco]
– Puppy on a Slide! [CityRag]
– Katie Downes is a page 3 girl I’d take to lunch [Regretful Morning]
– No Doubt’s Debut Turns 20 [Celebrity Smack]
– Jarah Mariano’s hotness will melt you into a puddle [Brosome]

– 48 Photos Of Hot Ass [DJMICK]
– Cute Overload [Ned Hardy]
– Miranda Kerr is Always Hot [EgoTV]
– John Cena Involved In Car Crash [Bumpshack]
– Lily Aldridge is still bringing the bikini and lingerie heat [Guyism]

– The 20 Hottest Same-Sex Kisses [Heavy]
– Hot Chicks With Hot Abs [Mankind Unplugged]
– Are you a Bastardly Lady of the Day? [The Bastardly]

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