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Sarah Hyland Is Finally Single, But Don’t Expect Her To Be An Easy Rebound!

22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing/After Party

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Sarah Hyland finally broke up with her longtime boyfriend Matt Prokop after realizing that she’s A-List and he’s No-List. We should also mention that the douche was physically & verbally abusing the ‘Modern Family’ star. What’s up with all the domestic violence in the news as of late?

Let’s face it, the reason behind their breakup is fairly obvious. Matt Prokop is one of those dudes who couldn’t handle his girlfriend’s success (she’s worth around $6-10 million), so he decided to do what any loser would do in his situation. He decided to assert his manliness by way of physical & verbal abuse, which is very sad & pathetic.

With the help of a restraining order, Sarah is officially free form this dude (that’s assuming she hires the proper security detail), but that doesn’t exactly mean she’s ready to jump into another relationship next week—at least not with just anybody! She wasted away precious years of her youth with an abusive nobody, so now she has to make up for lost time by dating an A-list actor, at the minimum or an extremely well-heeled businessman (yacht & private jet owner). Sarah, if you need help filtering through the douche bags, don’t hesitate to contact us!

Ariel Winter filming a halloween special for "Modern Family"

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22nd Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Academy Awards Viewing/After Party

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Wow, This Is A Shocker: Married Life Wasn’t For Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa

Wiz Khalifa On Family Outing

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There was a chance (something like 0.000000000000001%) that Amber Rose and Wiz Khalifa would’ve proven the naysayers wrong and followed through on those marriage vows, but it appears Amber Rose thinks that Wiz Khalifa would be a horrible role model for their one-year-old son Sebastian.

Really?!

What happened to thinking differently, Amber? Plus, aren’t you the one known as the Hip-Hop Ho? Wiz Khalifa is just a rapper who smokes too much weed and thinks he’ll be a 19-year-old forever.

According to court papers, the couple officially separated on Monday, September 22 after Amber filed for divorce, citing boring old “irreconcilable differences” as the reason behind the breakup. On top of that, Amber is lawyered-up and wants to fight for sole custody, which could make the divorce process very messy. The documents, obtained by TMZ.com, also reveal the estranged couple signed a pre-nuptial agreement before tying the knot on back in July, 2013. Wiz has yet to comment on the break-up, which emerges one month after they appeared to be all over each other on the red carpet at the MTV Video Music Awards in Los Angeles.

2014 Billboard Awards Red Carpet

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Big Sean Dodges Big Marriage Bullet; Calls Off Engagement With Naya Rivera

The Trevor Project Host "TrevorLIVE" Los Angeles Benefit

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Let’s face it, it was inevitable, so Big Sean should count his blessing that the breakup happened before he tied the knot and Naya popped out a couple kids. Here’s the statement coming out of the Team Big Sean:
“After careful thought and much consideration, Sean has made the difficult decision to call the wedding off. The recent rumors and accusations reported by so-called or fake sources are simply untrue. Sean wishes Naya nothing but the best and it is still his hope that they can continue to work through their issues privately. We will not be commenting again on this matter.”

The “rumors” are in reference to a recent Star magazine article accusing Big Sean of cheating on Naya (wouldn’t surprise us). It’s obvious that Naya is one of those crazy jealous chicks, who might completely lose it one night & slice off Big Sean’s biggest asset, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. Plus, any chick who fails to take the contents of a Star magazine article with a grain of salt deserves is somewhat questionable as a long-term investment. Big Sean has a lot going for him, so why fuck it all up by getting into a shitty marriage?

To see more temporary celebrity relationships about to implode, check our Internet-exclusive category, Temporarily In Love.

19th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards

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Shocker: Nikki Reed Splits From ‘American Idol’ Lover Paul McDonald

EXCLUSIVE: FIRST PICS SINCE SPLIT! Nikki Reed heads out of a workout session, following news that she is splitting with husband Paul McDonald

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It’s one thing to fall in love with and marry a dude who came in 8th place on ‘American Idol’ (yup, she apparently loved his voice that much!), but she took it a step further and decided to do an album with the guy. We all know Nikki Reed doesn’t exactly think straight, but what about Paul McDonald?! The guy fell into money and then proceeded to fuck it all up by doing some bullshit passion-project with his wife.

Who does that?

The only passion project married couples should be dabbling in are scantily-clothed projects that take place inside dimly-lit rooms behind closed doors. The guy already struck the lottery by marrying into ‘Twilight’ money, so why did he think it would be a good idea to do an album with his wife?!? You can’t possibly spend 24/7 with the same chick and expect everything to go well. Isn’t that covered in Marriage 101?!

Long story short, as if we didn’t already know the inevitable when Nikki Reed impulsively tied the knot back in 2011, the actress recently decided she was through fooling around with love and wanted to concentrate her efforts on someone more long-term and financially stable—like maybe a producer or director and hopefully this time, somebody who’s an A-lister. Hey, we all make mistakes, so it’s all good as long as Nikki had the dude sign a prenup.

And, for those of you who were looking forward to the joint album, no worries because Nikki and Paul plan to continue working on it since it’s due later this year. That’s a good one. Something tells me that the album will get pushed back…

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Chris Martin Finally Hits Eject Button On Marriage With Gwyneth Paltrow

Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Are Calling It Quits! **FILE PHOTOS***

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After what probably felt as an eternity, Cold Play lead singer finally threw in the towel on his marriage with overly pretentious & pathologically self-consumed actress Gwyneth Paltrow (OK, maybe we’re being a little too harsh). Since she’s famous for making other people feel like worthless pieces of shit, let’s review a list of G-Paltrow quotes that help to shed some light on the type of person Chris Martin has to no longer deal with…

Gwyneth talks nanny and kids:

“She’s French, so she’s teaching them French, and their previous nanny was Spanish, so they’re fluent in Spanish.”

European life:

“It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it’s from 500 B.C., it’s incredible.”

“We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art and literature—all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you’re wearing?’ and I thought, I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe. I love America too. It is just a more adolescent culture.”

“When you go to Paris and your concierge sends you to some restaurant because they get a kickback, it’s like, ‘No. Where should I really be? Where is the great bar with organic wine? Where do I get a bikini wax in Paris?’

In a Cosmo article (that Chris Martin probably missed):

“We’re human beings and the sun is the sun—how can it be bad for you? I don’t think anything that’s natural can be bad for you.”

Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin Are Calling It Quits! **FILE PHOTOS***

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The fact that she’s so endearing toward other people:

“Even actresses that you really admire, like Reese Witherspoon, you think, ‘Another romantic comedy?’ You see her in something like Walk the Line and think, ‘God, you’re so great!’ And then you think, ‘Why is she doing these stupid romantic comedies?’ But of course, it’s for money and status.”

“I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”

Loves to let people know that she’s friends with Jay Z & Queen B:

“[Moses] is obsessed with hip-hop and wanted a gold chain like his uncle Jay-Z.”

“Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we were at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!’”

“I don’t hold on to fear as much as I used to, because I’ve learned a lot about genuinely not caring what strangers think about me. It’s very liberating. It’s very empowering, and I’ve learned a lot of that from Jay—Shawn Carter—Z, because his approach to life is very internal. It’s a very good lesson to learn.”

Looks Like G-P will be listening to a lot of hip hop…

“He [Chris Martin] can’t have background music on. It has to be 100 percent of his attention. But if he isn’t at home, I turn on the hip-hop. I’m like a bad mutha rapping along to every word as I cook.”

Here’s G-P discussing what she wants as her last meal…

“Oysters and cocktail sauce, and then a baked, stuffed lobster and french fries. I would have a baguette and a cheese course for my dessert, and red wine. I drank like crazy [when the kids were babies]. How else could I get through my day?”

G-P confirming that she lives inside a bubble:

“I think that women, especially women in my job, come to me because they know I’m very loving and nonjudgmental and I’m not competitive, and I’ve been through a lot.”

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7 Ways Robin Thicke Can Win Back Paula P

paula-patton-robin-thicke

“Ever since Robin Thicke and Paula Patton announced they were separating earlier this week, ‘Mr. ‘Blurred Lines” has spent every waking minute trying to win his back his wife.”[MTV]

It’s probably more surprising to know that Robin Thicke is trying to reconcile with estranged wife Paula Patton than the fact that the two split up in the first place (I mean, come on!)

But there are some ways the singer can try and really win her back – and they don’t involve the blurring of lines, Miley Cyrus, or the donning of 80s-esque Beetlejuice pantsuits. Here’s a few suggestions:

Grow His Hair Really Long, Become A Bike Messenger: Yes, this is basically the plot of the “When I Get You Alone” video. So what?

Two Words: Sex Therapy: That album was underrated.

Click the link for the full list.

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Robin Thicke & Paula Patton Claim They ‘Mutually Decided To Separate’. So, Did They Both Cheat?

Robin Thicke & Paula Patton 'Mutually' Decide To Separate

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All this time, I thought Robin Thicke was F’ing around behind Paula’s back, but it appears, the story might be slightly more complicated. Their recently released joint statement reads, ‘We will always love each other and be best friends, however, we have mutually decided to separate at this time.”

This pretty much translates to “We will still sleep with each other from time to time, however, we both want to spend the next few months sleeping with other people, as well, and want to facilitate such desires with a mutual separation.”

They could’ve just as easily filed for divorce, but it appears they’re taking the temporarily separated route in hopes to rekindle some of the love between each other by sleeping around with other people. Sure, that sounds fucked-up & counter intuitive, but sometimes you gotta sniff your neighbor’s roses in order to realizes the roses in your own garden are 10x better. Having been together for so long, I just can’t see these two remaining separated for too long. What do you guys think?

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Santa’s Gift To Sugar Daddies: Kate Upton and Maksim Chmerkovskiy Broke Up. Is George Clooney Going To Pounce?

SPLITSVILLE! Kate Upton and Maksim Chmerkovskiy have reportedly split after dating for 6 months

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So yeah, Kate Upton’s temporary relationship with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, which was officially revealed just a couple months back, is over. The couple have reportedly split after dating for six months. This comes just days after the release of a trailer for Kate’s upcoming comedy flick ‘The Other Woman’, also starring Leslie Mann and Cameron Diaz, so it’s possible Kate’s PR team is getting her prepp’d from a marketing standpoint. A Kate Upton involved in a long-term, stable relationship is a big negative for her career, especially from the standpoint of all the dudes who own multiple copies of the voluptuous model’s two S.I. Swimsuit cover issues from the past couple years.

Now that Kate is single, it will be very interesting to see who gets a hold of her next. Rumors are already swirling about a possible George Clooney or Leonardo DiCaprio holiday/pre-award season hookup, but we have a feeling that Kate will end up with an athlete in the coming months—probably a football player. Regardless of who she ends up with, I think it’s safe to assume that this dude will have a major motorboat fetish.

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