while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by abba0
“Ever since Robin Thicke and Paula Patton announced they were separating earlier this week, ‘Mr. ‘Blurred Lines” has spent every waking minute trying to win his back his wife.”[MTV]
It’s probably more surprising to know that Robin Thicke is trying to reconcile with estranged wife Paula Patton than the fact that the two split up in the first place (I mean, come on!)
But there are some ways the singer can try and really win her back – and they don’t involve the blurring of lines, Miley Cyrus, or the donning of 80s-esque Beetlejuice pantsuits. Here’s a few suggestions:
Grow His Hair Really Long, Become A Bike Messenger: Yes, this is basically the plot of the “When I Get You Alone” video. So what?
Two Words: Sex Therapy: That album was underrated.
All this time, I thought Robin Thicke was F’ing around behind Paula’s back, but it appears, the story might be slightly more complicated. Their recently released joint statement reads, ‘We will always love each other and be best friends, however, we have mutually decided to separate at this time.”
This pretty much translates to “We will still sleep with each other from time to time, however, we both want to spend the next few months sleeping with other people, as well, and want to facilitate such desires with a mutual separation.”
They could’ve just as easily filed for divorce, but it appears they’re taking the temporarily separated route in hopes to rekindle some of the love between each other by sleeping around with other people. Sure, that sounds fucked-up & counter intuitive, but sometimes you gotta sniff your neighbor’s roses in order to realizes the roses in your own garden are 10x better. Having been together for so long, I just can’t see these two remaining separated for too long. What do you guys think?
So yeah, Kate Upton’s temporary relationship with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, which was officially revealed just a couple months back, is over. The couple have reportedly split after dating for six months. This comes just days after the release of a trailer for Kate’s upcoming comedy flick ‘The Other Woman’, also starring Leslie Mann and Cameron Diaz, so it’s possible Kate’s PR team is getting her prepp’d from a marketing standpoint. A Kate Upton involved in a long-term, stable relationship is a big negative for her career, especially from the standpoint of all the dudes who own multiple copies of the voluptuous model’s two S.I. Swimsuit cover issues from the past couple years.
Now that Kate is single, it will be very interesting to see who gets a hold of her next. Rumors are already swirling about a possible George Clooney or Leonardo DiCaprio holiday/pre-award season hookup, but we have a feeling that Kate will end up with an athlete in the coming months—probably a football player. Regardless of who she ends up with, I think it’s safe to assume that this dude will have a major motorboat fetish.
This was something we didn’t get to before the Thanksgiving holiday, so we’re throwing it up now. These pics of Malin Akerman were snapped last week as the actress filled up her car and considering her circumstances, she seems very happy.
As some of you might have heard, the ‘Rock of Ages’ actress recently broke the news about her split from hubby Roberto Zincone after six years together. This is believed to be the first time she has been seen in public after reportedly splitting from the drummer. The couple are parents to seventh month old son Sebastian, so it appears there was a lot of tension following the birth.
If somebody as kind & loving as Miranda Kerr can have marriage problems, then I think it’s safe to assume that other A-list supermodel marriages aren’t safe either. It’s possible Orlando was cheating on Miranda while away in foreign countries shooting films or Miranda wanted to have more family time, but Orlando was too busy (yes, we’re going to blame everything on Orlando), but there’s no reason why all this can’t happen with others on the list.
We’ve only included the top married models who came to our minds right off the bat, so apologies in advance if we didn’t include your favorite married model. Our shortlist includes Gisele Bundchen, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes & Alessandra Ambrosio.
With that said, who will be the next model to separate & make herself available to the Worldwide Sugar Daddy Community? All the ladies on our list are still pretty much in their prime, so they still have plenty of value in the open sugar daddy market.
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Last month we posted a story with the following title, “Why Do Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom Hang With Flynn As If They’re Divorced,” well, it turns out we suspected correctly as the couple announced yesterday via Orlando’s publicist that they have “been amicably separated for the past few months.” The joint statement also read, “After six years together, they have recently decided to formalize their separation. Despite this being the end of their marriage, they love, support and respect each other as both parents of their son and as family.”
These two were rarely together anyway, but I kind of feel bad for Flynn since he deserves a better situation. Then again, no kid deserves a shitty situation where both parents fight all the time, even though I can’t really see somebody like Miranda Kerr having a fight with Orlando. I just feel like these two lead very international lives & since they’re rarely together, it’s very difficult to manage a healthy relationship. Sucks for them, but does this open the door for Leonardo DiCaprio?!?
Regardless of who ends up with Miranda, I really hope Orlando Bloom did everything in his power to save this relationship b/c ultimately he’ll suffer a lot emotionally when he realizes what just happened. It’s a real pity.
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Let’s face it, sex with somebody like Rosie Huntington-Whiteley can’t be all that exciting, and plus, the truth in those pesky “Rosie is his beard” rumors grew more & more likely each day Jason Statham stayed with her, so I don’t think anybody is surprised to hear that these two are finally ready to move on to other people. I personally don’t think that there’s any truth to the beard or gay rumors simply because the dude has a track record of dating very nice ladies, so just because Rosie looks completely harmless and possibly asexual doesn’t mean she’s Jason Statham’s beard. It might be mean, Jason’s really busy & simply wants a trophy girlfriend to make his friends jealous and look great on the red carpet.
Regardless of why these two broke up, look for Jason Statham to start dating somebody with a killer attitude and an equal killer body just so that he can prove his heterosexuality to all the haters (not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, or course). It’s just that when you make your living as Mr. Macho Man, it’s extremely difficult to also hide inside the closet with somebody like Rosie guarding the door. It’s our hope that society will be more accepting of gay action stars in the future, but that’s simply not the case at the moment.
Having said that, who’s Jason Statham gonna get with next? He likes to go really sexy & obscure and considering he must know a lot of models after dating Rosie for a few years, I feel like he might take it easy & bag something in the fashion industry. Then again, he might also be tired of boney & somewhat lifeless sex and decide to add a little more meaty freakiness to his life. We’re all for the latter, of course.
As for Rosie, I wouldn’t be surprised if George Clooney takes a swipe at Rosie now that she’s available for the rebound. Rosie’s looking to make a name for herself in Hollywood & there’s no better way to achieve those lofty goals than date Mr. Hollywood himself. George will get a world-class sexy blonde who has years of red carpet experience, while Rosie gets to broaden her network in Hollywood. It’s a win/win for both parties!