Photo Credit: FameFlynet Pictures
Pictured: Jesse Metcalfe, Gerard Butler & Shaq.
We don’t usually quote great authors on the site, but every once in a while we gotta throw a curve ball. In the spirit of Ralph Waldo Emerson’s wisdom, “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself,” we’re kicking off a new category catering especially to aspiring sugar daddies.
We will call it Fashionable Sugar Daddies.
Let’s face it, at the end of the day, all guys want to live the life (i.e. hot chick, private jet, yacht, 3-4 pimp pads in happening cities around the globe, 4-5 beach front pads around the globe, and of course, at least 8-10 fast cars, also scattered at various pads around the globe). Some might call it a little overindulgent, but they’re part jealous & mostly in denial.
Sugar daddies, by definition, need to have a massive cash flow, so obviously we can’t help in that department. Nevertheless, once that cash is freely flowing, dressing the parts is almost as important as choosing who to sleep with on a given night, but of course, if you’re a ga-zillionaire super-geek with Facebook shares in the back pocket of your K-Mart Wranglers, then obviously you can walk around with Tijuana-fueled diarrhea rubbed all over body & chicks will still claw each other to get a lick.
With all that in hand, let’s move our attention to our inaugural set of Fashionable Sugar Daddies.
Jesse Metcalfe: The 33-year old “Desperate Housewives” star, who’s known for banging under-the-radar hotties was seen leaving ITV studios yesterday afternoon in London. We’re pretty sure he’s sitting inside his London hotel room anxiously awaiting his return to L.A. considering the U.K. has very little to offer in terms of quality hotties.
Gerard Butler, a.k.a. Celebrity Manwhore, also a.k.a. LUCKY SONOFABITCHWHOREBAGBASTARDPIECEOFSHIT (when we’re envious, we tend to suffer from curse word seizures). The Hollywood Pimpdaddy was seen leaving Sur lounge after arranging a rendezvous with a group of hotties back at his pad. His next flick is “Movie 43,” which is another one of those shitty, 50-actor films comprising of “cute” short stories. Whoever came up with the idea needs to be shot.
Shaq: What more can we say about this guy that hasn’t already been said? The guy is Mr. Personality & all the cash, basketball legend status, Ph.D., etc, etc is simply icing. All he needs to do now is consult Barkley & fine tune his Retired NBA Legend Man-Whoring Skills. These were snapped a couple days back in NYC as Shaq Diesel was seen hiting Jimmy Fallon.
Mark Wahlberg: It seems like Mark Wahlberg’s only flaw is that he’s a married man. Ha. I’M KIDDING! To have that crazy network that includes a painfully list of hot chicks, I’m pretty sure he has one of those “unspoken open marriages.” The action star & “Entourage” producer was seen stepping out his hotel for a workout pimping an Andrew Dice Clay tee & Nike Air Max kicks.
Mr. Haiti, Wyclef Jean, was at Pure Nightclub in Vegas a couple nights back celebrating the club’s 7th anniversary. The singer gave a special performance & then went back into his presidential sweet at the Caesars Palace with a group of comp’ed hotties. Bastard.
And finally, we got hip-hop pimpdaddy Drake. He was partying with Rihanna at Low Club a couple nights back in London following a show earlier in the evening at the O2. Rumors of Drake & Rih-Rih being casual fuck-buddies have been floating around for a while, so we’d be surprised if he didn’t get a piece. It was noted that Drake left the club first & then five minutes later Rihanna checked-out. Hmmm…
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Photo Credit: FameFlynet Pictures; Bauer-Griffin
Pictured: Mark Wahlberg, Wyclef Jean & Drake.