These were snapped yesterday afternoon as the massage therapist was seen heading out of Simon Cowell’s hotel after reportedly giving the ‘X-Factor’ judge a nice, long massage.
Knowing how Simon Cowell’s famous for throwing around his hard-earned cash, he’s probably booked the largest suite the hotel had to offer, so I’m sure he can get all the privacy he needs. The only thing we forgot to add to that list in the caption was a 5-minute motorboat face massage, which typically run around $500/minute.
When you have hired-help licking your ass 24/7, you can do shit that makes you look like a complete dumbass and not have the slightest clue. I gotta admit, I would mind a few days inside Simon’s $400 million bubble, so more power to him.
The television and music mogul is currently enjoying the high-life in Miami with his baby-momma Lauren Silverman and their love-child, a newborn son Eric (that lucky bastard!). Simon was spotted cruising around the boardwalk shirtless with his family, which includes his two dogs Squiddly and Diddly.
I’m probably going to get shitted on by gear heads out there, but Simon could’ve done better for that kind of money. We didn’t know anything about Simon’s new ride, but apparently this is a Caterham 7 CSR sports car, the latest model from the manufacturer of specialist lightweight sports cars based in Caterham, Surrey, UK. This particular model does 0-60 mph in 3.1 seconds with a top speed of 155 mph and costs around £35,000 ($57,000).
So, what’s your take on Simon’s new ride?
These latest pics were snapped earlier today as the new lovebirds Simon Cowell & Lauren Silverman were spotted out grabbing a romantic dinner at Italian joint Scalini in Chelsea, London. As you guys know, Simon Cowell had unprotected drunken sex with his best friend’s wife & now she’s pregnant with his kid.
After somewhat avoiding the news of his new baby-momma, Simon has now embraced his situation by making very public appearances with Lauren over the past few days. I feel like he’s doing damage control ahead of the ‘X Factor’ premiere in the US next month. The two-night premiere event goes down September 11 & 12 8/7c. Check the show’s official website for more information >>>
Simply judging by the fact that Simon Cowell & Lauren Silverman are eating in such a public place in the company of hungry members of the British papz, we’re gonna have to assume Simon’s taking the advice of his P.R. department cleaning up some of the mess he created earlier this year by having sex with his best friend’s wife. We’re pretty sure Simon & Lauren had drunken sex while on one of his many yacht excursions in the Mediterranean b/c why else wouldn’t put on a frickin’ condom?! I don’t get it.
But you have to admit, Simon holding the hand of his pregnant girlfriend Lauren Silverman as they enjoyed lunch in London was a nice touch.
Pictured: Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik and Liam Payne; Simon Cowell
We’re pretty sure Simon Cowell was there specifically to flex his manboobs on the red carpet and recruit a fresh batch of cougars to accompany him on week-long Tantric-sex-infused excursions in the French Riviera aboard his luxury yacht. That bastard.
So, it’s also worth our time to speculate who took home who following last night’s big premiere of ‘One Direction: This Is Us’ (i.e. 2013’s greatest film). Can you get any more cookie cutter than a film about touring boy-band that was manufactured on a reality TV show? Nonetheless, I’m pretty sure it’ll go on to earn a lot of cash–so much cash that Simon Cowell will shamelessly turn it into a trilogy ‘One Direction: This Is Us NOW’, ‘One Direction: That Used To Us, But THIS is Really Us!’. Chicks will eat this shit up!
Don’t know if you guys heard this already, but there are rumors that Simon Cowell is working on releasing dildos & vibrators with the faces of ‘One Direction’ band mate on the tips. Did you guys see the prototype featuring Harry Styles that was leaked last week? Check it below…
Pictured: Rochelle Wiseman, Little Mix (Leigh-Anne Pinnock, Jade Thirlwall and Perrie Edwards), Laura Whitmore
Pictured: Amelia Lilly, Ashley James, Diana Vickers, Lilah Parsons
PHOTO CAPTION: Anybody know if that’s Simon’s jet-ski?
King Sugar Daddy Simon Cowell was seen cruising around a jet ski while he continues his vacation in Capri, Italy. The ‘X factor’ judge chilled with bikini-clad friends (with benefits) on board his huge-ass yacht (pictured below).
As most of you know, the 53-year-old media mogul was most recently embroiled in a scandal involving an adulterous relationship with his best friend’s wife which resulted in Simon becoming a baby-daddy. Apparently he settled with the parties involved by throwing a little cash at the problem and it appears he’s back in the business of having fun with the ladies again.
Hey, when you’re pulling in around $75 million a year & have a net worth of reportedly $320 million, a few million here & there isn’t a big deal. That bastard.
So, I think it’s safe to assume that this guy was simply paying Carmen Electra for sex? I mean, it seems like he’s back together w/ his ex-fiance Mezhgan Hussainy, but who knows what’s really up b/c this dude was spotted lounging on his yacht earlier today in St. Barts while surrounded by women. More to him. That sonofabitchwhorebagpieceofshitrichbastard.
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Simon Cowell Hooked Up with the delicious “True Blood” actress Janina Gavankar, or at least we’re gonna assume Simon didn’t just take the 32-year-old bombshell out to a nice dinner at Cecconi’s in Hollywood & then dropped her back at home afterward. He’s been dealing w/ a lot of stress as of late, so it’s comforting to know that the guy can at least he can hammer some of it away by having sex with young Hollywood starlets.
The world-famous music mogul, who’s man behind boy-band/cash-cow One Direction, is currently dealing with really shitty ratings compared to NBC’s “The Voice,” as well as a lawsuit courtesy of former co-judge Cheryl Cole. The sexy singer, who was apparently one of Simon’s close friends, is reportedly suing the makers of the American version of “X Factor” for £1.4 million ($2.2 million) after she was unfairly fired from her judging post & subsequently replaced by Nicole Scherzinger (who really sucked ass during her season on the show). Nicole is currently a judge on the UK version of the show–a post once held by Cheryl.
According to various stats, individual shoppers spent roughly $423 over the four-day weekend (doesn’t include Cyber Monday). We’re gonna assume Simon Cowell bagged this baby over the weekend just for the hell of it. These were snapped over the weekend as Simon Cowell was seen taking his Ferrari 458 Italia Spyder for a spin with a friend. The music mogul owns a total of three homes in Beverly Hills so maybe he was going in between homes?