Posts about Bastardly Polls

Miranda Kerr Breakup Leads To Bastardly Speculation: Who’s Next? Gisele? Adriana? Alessandra? Doutzen?

 in the middle of the afternoon by 0
Adriana Lima & Doutzen Kroes

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Pictured: Adriana Lima & Doutzen Kroes

If somebody as kind & loving as Miranda Kerr can have marriage problems, then I think it’s safe to assume that other A-list supermodel marriages aren’t safe either. It’s possible Orlando was cheating on Miranda while away in foreign countries shooting films or Miranda wanted to have more family time, but Orlando was too busy (yes, we’re going to blame everything on Orlando), but there’s no reason why all this can’t happen with others on the list.

We’ve only included the top married models who came to our minds right off the bat, so apologies in advance if we didn’t include your favorite married model. Our shortlist includes Gisele Bundchen, Adriana Lima, Doutzen Kroes & Alessandra Ambrosio.

With that said, who will be the next model to separate & make herself available to the Worldwide Sugar Daddy Community? All the ladies on our list are still pretty much in their prime, so they still have plenty of value in the open sugar daddy market.

Gisele Bundchen, Doutzen Kroes & Alessandra Ambrosio

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Pictured: Gisele Bundchen, Doutzen Kroes & Alessandra Ambrosio

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Jessica Alba Updates Her World-Famous Lil’ Bikini Ass Pose—Is She Getting Better or Worse?

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**EXCLUSIVE** Nicole Richie, Jessica Alba and her husband Cash Warren let loose with some fun in the water and on the beach while vacationing in St. Barths with friends

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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Even though this is deep into perv territory, we gotta plug Jessica Alba’s 2013 version of her classic Bikini Ass Pose…When Bent Over. We’ve included J.Alba’s previous versions directly below for comparison, so the assignment for the weekend is to write a 25 word essay on which photo is your favorite & why. We even created a poll for you bastards…

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Hayden Panettiere & Wladimir Klitschko Would Make One Crazy-Ass Sex Tape!

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 11
Hayden Panettiere & Wladimir Klitschko

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I don’t know the exact size of the market for such a sex tape, but I’m sure a lot of people would be interested because let’s face it, Hayden Panettiere & Wladimir Klitschko definitely bring something very unique to the table (HA). With that said, let’s do a poll pitting HayKlit’s hypothetical sex tape against a few previously released celebrity sex tapes:

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2012 Miss Universe Pagaent Top 16: Best Bikini Body; Choose Your Top 3

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 6
Olivia Culpo, Melinda Bam, Karina Gonzalez, Irene Sofia Esser Quintero, & Nicole Faveron

Photo Credit: WENN

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Pictured: Olivia Culpo, Melinda Bam, Karina Gonzalez, Irene Sofia Esser Quintero, & Nicole Faveron

As we posted earlier Miss USA Olivia Culpo took the top prize and was named 2012 Miss Universe last night in Vegas, but that doesn’t mean she was everyone’s top pick, at least when it comes to all-important Bikini Body category. We’ve put together a poll where of the top 16 ladies & showcased their bikini photos from the pageant. Choose your favorite three & we’ll do another poll with the top three ladies tomorrow afternoon.

Choose your favorite three…

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NHC: Jessica White Hits Rica Swimwear Launch Party @ Villa Pacri

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 4

Photo Credit: Splash News Online

This was definitely the party to hit last night as Rica Swimwear held a VIP cocktail reception at Villa Pacri located in NYC’s fashionable Meatpacking District. We don’t know the names of the models surrounding Jessica White, but that won’t keep us from rating them. Look for closeups in the subsequent pages…

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MORE: See more photos on Flickr!

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Oh Damn! Is Joe Jonas Trying To Upgrade To A VS Angel?

 after a late four martini lunch by 33

Photo Credit: Splash News Online

PEACE OUT, ASHLEY GREENE!!

And, who the hell can blame him, right? He definitely has the cash flow, but does he have what it takes to maintain a VS Angel behind closed doors? Everyone thinks the dude uses these hot chicks to serve as beards, but I have a feeling those might be envious haters.

There were plenty of single ladies at the event, so props to Joe for pulling strings to get his ass into the event. Hey, which one of us bastards wouldn’t hit a party overflowing lingerie models? Exactly…

Anyway, since we have three of the hottest MILFs in one photo, we as well bust out one of our useless polls…

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Poll: Rumer Willis vs Michelle vs Trachtenberg vs Joanna Garcia vs Jessica Szohr

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 34

These were snapped yesterday at the Charlotte Russe Fall 2009 launch event in NYC.

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Doutzen Kroes & Alessandra Ambrosio: A Difficult Bastardly Matchup

 early in the evening, before sex by 55

Both beauties were spotted at the VS flagship store located at 59th & Lex. Props to those of you lucky bastards who were on hand to witness the hotness in live action. I wish there was a damn mailing list we could get on so we could attend some of these events!

Anyway, believe it or not, but Alessandra & Doutzen were on hand to promote the official launch of Victoria’s Secret’s Facebook page. So ya, now you can have Fake Ale & Fake Adriana join your list of fake friends on Facebook!! How absolutely totally cool is that?

And, as with any other time we have two beautiful ladies standing next to each other, here’s a Bastardly Poll:


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