while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by Moe0
If you think about it, it could’ve been a little worse: They could’ve have been real snarky & spelling ‘North’ with a silent ‘K’. Considering North will be filthy rich all her life without having to become a porn star in the process, I’m sure she’ll grow up to not really give a shit about what her parents decided to name her. Having said that, anyone got any good jokes with the latest cracked-out celebrity baby name?
Oh wait, it’s always been like that, huh? I’m pretty sure she got a few procedures done recently because that doesn’t look normal. We’re not kidding when we say ‘REMOVE WITH CAUTION’ as you bastards will soon find out…
These were snapped earlier today following Tori’s appearance on the morning shows ‘Breakfast Television’ and ‘Cityline’ in Toronto. The reality TV star is obviously scraping the bottom of the barrel considering she’s in the city promoting McCain’s ‘Deep ‘n Delicious’ cakes—whatever the fuck that is.
while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by abba0
It’s no secret that Amanda Bynes has successfully wrestled the mantle of Biggest Walking Hollywood Disaster from Lindsay Lohan and Mel Gibson. Whether or not her hilariously absurd and insane antics and tweets are genuine or not we’ll let others decide.
What is real is the attention she’s garnering. And if you’re from the school of “All Publicity is Good Publicity” check out this ironically funny mock PSA from the good folks at YouTube’s Official Comedy Channel.
Amanda Bynes or Syrian rebels. The choice is ours!
- What Type Of Guy Would You Be In An Apocalypse? [Guy Code]
- Channing Tatum: ‘I’m a fat kid on the inside. I love food so much’ [Celebitchy] - Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson at The Internship premiere [Lainey's Gossip] NOTE: TOM HARDY WENT ON THE DATE B/C SHE THIS CHICK HAS CANCER.
- Kelly Brook Nipple Does GQ Turkey of the Day [Drunken Stepfather, NSFW] - Emma Stone & Andrew Garfield Are Still The Perfect Couple On The Set Of ‘The Amazing Spider Man 2′ [Socialite Life] - Tom Hardy Takes Cancer Patient Fan On a Date [Evil Beet] CLICK TO SEE MORE PICS!
How’s this for completely random content? Saw these over the weekend & figured a few of you sick bastards might enjoy flipping through the photos.
Just when you think your life sucks & you have nothing to live for, these tragic before & after photos of meth addicts should give you a little hope. Even though the drug is somewhat glorified in the hit series “Breaking Bad” (I’m a huge fan), the drug’s physical effects on people is nothing but tragic. The stark transformation in users over very short periods of time was absolutely shocking, to say the least. We’ll let the photos do the talking…
If you haven’t already done so, please remember to vote for your favorite hottie: Adriana Lima or Jessica Alba. People suggested that we do an Adriana Lima bikini post to counter the flood of Jessica Alba bikini pics from over the weekend, but I personally think that would be an insult to Adriana Lima. Everyone knows what she’s all about & I don’t really think a bikini post will help or hurt. By this point in the tournament, people already know who they want. If you want to see pics of each woman, check the gallery or if you just want to vote, do so directly below:
Honestly, the day was going just fine until I read about Miranda Kerr getting cut from the Victoria’s Secret team. What the fuck is up with that? Like I said, that woman should be pulling in at least $5 million a year from VS, so who the hell knows why she was getting only $1 million over three years. It’s like LeBron James saying he’ll play for the Heat for $50K a year or Candice Swanepoel dating some no-name male model for the past 7 years. It’s all fucked up and doesn’t make any sense. VS can say all they want about how Miranda doesn’t sell, but when you have other models still on the team that don’t really deserve to be an Angel, I gotta call bullshit on the entire Miranda Kerr ouster. I’m sure there’s more to this than meets the eye, so I guess we’ll have to wait for Miranda to comment.
SUBMIT YOUR PHOTOS FOR A BASTARDLY RATING!!
1. Take a photo
2. Crop your head out (if you want)
3. Upload it to imgur.com
4. Paste the link in the comments.
It’s that easy! You’ll have critiques coming your way within minutes! Have trouble deciding which bikinis to take on your trip? No worries, we’ll help you decide…
This is a new category of posts we’re launching to allow you bastards to chit-chat about all the bullshit directly related to recently posted items or completely unrelated crap that you want to get off your chest. These daily posts can also be used for posting self portraits (only hot female readers, please) or bikini pics. If you’re really hot & don’t want to show your face (because you care about your future), you can always crop the head & just post body shots—better than nothing. We’ve been at this game for nearly 10 years, so we’re Bastardly Certified experts in gauging style & provide very accurate hotness ratings. If you want to know whether you’ll look hot in a certain outfit, we can tell you—FOR FREE!! Questions like: “Am I fat?” “How do my boobs look?” “Are my legs ugly?” can all be answered by our team of experts (Jackson, Devon, Abba & Moe are at your service!).
With that said, here’s the latest breakdown on the Adriana Lima & Jessica Alba Championship Matchup! Can’t believe we actually completed the March Madness Hotties Tournament. Sure Devon did the hard work of finding photos & creating posts, but the initial heavy lifting of creating the brackets was done by longtime reader Gabbo! Thank you, again. We gotta bust out more of these—maybe the next matchup can explore other areas: Best Barely Legal Celebrity (18-20), Best Celebrity Calves, Torso, Bikini Belly—the list is endless. You guys decide & we’ll run with it.