Posts from July 2014

Please Worry, Laker Fans.

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 2

Before I begin my bitching, I want to say that ABC should enter a new line into Al Michaels’ contract that reads, “Mr. Michaels can only commentate Monday Night Football.” He is no good. No good, at all. Why not Marv Albert? I don’t care if he has a weird life behind basketball, God damn it!

Ok, moving on…

I’m surprised as everyone as I watched the painful 4th quarter slowly wind down. I was expecting to see something truly different in Game 4, but I saw a repeat of Game 1. The Lakers were shooting in the last couple seconds of the shot-clock or losing the ball due to careless passing or simply forgetting that Shaq was on the floor! It’s very upsetting, I tell you. You can only heal a wound until you are aware of the wound yourself! I hope the Lakers understand they are hurt! The lack of defense is the wound that ails the Lakers. They try to run their great offense w/ a lackluster, foul-prone defense.

Get this: If you count only the points scored while the clock was running, the final score would be: 69-60, Lakers. Can you believe that? The reason? Personal fouls and the free-throws shot! They committed nearly double the fouls and hence, D-Town shot nearly 2x more from the line. For God’s sake, the problem was not the offense, as you can see. It was simply bad defense, but at least they are more aggressive on the defensive end than they have been in the past. Now they just need to tweak their defense to where they do not foul themselves out of the game! Also, Phil Jackson needs to stop bitching at the refs and start straightening out his players.

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Laugh or Be Afraid?

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 13

Roar! Be afraid!

For fear of retaliation, I will not say anything harsh, but it is tempting. I’m just posting this photo to plant the seed of fear in the hearts of my 3 readers. I grabbed this from the Latin Rapper website. There are some serious gangsta rapper FANS on that site!

Your comments are welcome.

The Demands of Love - Leo Tolstoy

 in the weewizzle hours by 19

Reading the following extract out of Tolstoy’s diary is truly a humbling experience, to say the least. First of all, I learned that I’m a complete hypocrite when it comes to my temperance, generosity, & simple care for those around me. It’s a sad & painful realization, I tell you, but all I can say is that I am doing my best to change for the better.

I was thinking of giving my personal interpretation, but I am going to hold off because I personally hate falling victim to others’ opinions on things I read. It completely skews my ultimate interpretation. To tell you the truth, you need only be a child to comprehend such writing because it is associated with love, the single element of life that is so pure and ubiquitous in our hearts & minds.

Well, one last thing before I let you people skim through this little story. The end result, no matter how you see it, will be a rewarding lifelong experiment that will inevitably begin painfully, only because you must initially expend great energy & time unwinding all that you’ve been taught in order to eventually fall mercy to the demands of love (probably in your old-old age).

[Side note: I've searched all over the net for the following extract, but haven't had luck, so I decided I'd copy it out of one of my books for all 2 of you to enjoy! It's long, so print it!]

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D-Town Murder!

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 3

I was worried last night. It was an awkward sense of worry where you feel helpless. This is same type of worry that surfaces when you’re stuck in a desert with a Coca-Cola machine in front of your sweaty face that only seems to take dollar bills and you only have quarters in your pockets. (Yes, that was a lame-lame analogy.) The Lakers are that sweaty face & they are in a bloody hole at the moment. They have a killer offense, but horrible-horrible defense! It’s a pity because they are stuck playing a team that’s known for its excellent defense. It was an ugly-ugly game to watch if you love dunks, 3s, etc. Well, in order for the Lakers to make any credible progress in this series, they must tweak their game to concentrate more on defense!

What’s the key stat in my mind? First, 7 & 15. Those are the amount of boards Lakers & D-Town grabbed on the offensive end, respectively. Can you believe it? They doubled up on the Lakers. Secondly, the more obvious, we have rebounds, 39 to 51. They were literally smashed on the boards. I don’t care if you’re playing in a cave; the disparity should not be so glaring. I hope Phil gets his ass off the bench and yells at these guys to push themselves harder-to get hands & knees a little dirty! They must uphold the Lakers legacy, God damn it!

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Never Mess Wit Tha Bhetdamese!!!

 late in the evening by 52

So my Viet friend introduced me to this…here’s ChucKie AkeNz & V-V-V-V-V-UNIT!!!!! Man, after listening his song, “You Got Beef” (The Vietnamese Anthem) and watching the video, it made me officially scared of the Bhetdamese race…dude, they so HAADCORE!!!

Here’s links to the mp3 and the music video for “You Got Beef?” One look of this and you too will be scared of the wrath of the Bhetdamese gang!!! Right click the link and save to hard drive to always remind you never to mess with the Bhetdamese!!!

PHO-nomenonal!

 in the middle of the afternoon by 1

I don’t know if this is true or just a dirty trick by some Bhetdamese computer geek, but it was reported today on one of my sites that Pho “is becoming the most popular Asian noodle soup in the U.S.” This was reported by The Mercury News-a newspaper based in San Jose, CA that is super close to PHO-Central (aka Stockton, CA—also, aka Brian’s Pimping grounds), so I wouldn’t be surprised if the writer of the article is in fact Vietnamese.

I personally think this is just a west-coast thing where Asians now officially outnumber white people.

One interesting fact from article: American bowls of pho are about 30% bigger than what’s found at a street-side joint in Vietnam.

That’s understandable since the average American is probably about a 100% larger than the average Vietnamese. You can kick me for that comment later, ok.

Anyway, Read the full story Here.

A Cold Night In Seattle…

 after a late four martini lunch by 3

So last night we went to watch the Mariners get schooled by Roger Clemens and our seats were pretty damn awesome…Section 114, Row 1! Yes, you read that correctly, row 1, right next on the field. I was just waiting for a foul ball to be popped by us, have Ichiro come try snatch it, get called for fan interference, get kicked out of the game, cost the Mariners the game, and get on Sportscenter…but that didn’t happen. So instead I got a picture of this woman’s nipple hard-on. Now, I didn’t bother with the face of the woman because she was broke up lookin.

Lesson to all the ladies to bring a jacket with them to the ballgame because you never know when sick bastaads like me and the fellas will spot you and post your nipple hard-on on the internet.

Too Much?

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 1

I like Reagan. I like Bush, as well. Do not get me wrong. The former created a legacy and the latter is doing his best to create one. I do not wish ill upon either one, but when I see things that are done madly out of proportion, it alarms me. I am further alarmed by all who blindly participate. Mob psychology, I tell you. Not only funerals, but birthdays, inaugurations or whatever it may be. There are logical lines that should be glaringly apparent to anyone with two eyes and a sane mind when observing such events.

We all know how much Reagan did in his lifetime, but at the most basic level, you cannot deny the fact that he is a human being. Just think about it, 24,000 people took time out of their day & lined up in DC for the viewing of his body. 24,000 people!! Amazing.

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