I could end my rating just with her photo, but I will not. I will do my best to put her beauty into words.
First, my rating: 7.8
Skull Structure: Similar to Angelina Jolie & ‘that’ Egyptian princess—you know, the ones who wore those golden Sphinx crowns & had long necks. I’m forgetting the name of the really beautiful one.
Yes, I’m a little bias with my score. Why? The lips. She’s looks like one of Angelina Jolie’s illegitimate children, but how can that be? Angelina Jolie, first of all, is crazy & secondly, she’s in her 30s, so logically Jessie cannot be one of her offspring. With this offspring question nagging me, I tried to find a photo of the parents, but no luck. Sorry, all you Alba stalkers.
Anyway, I digress. Where were we? Oh yes, the all mighty lips. Ms. Alba’s lips make me wonder whether she has ever gotten surgery, but then I zoom out from her lips to indulge on her entire face and see the ageless innocence in her eyes. My conclusion: She either has a very good surgeon or she has not gotten any surgery. This is Hollywood. Anything’s possible, baby.
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she looks like a cheap staten island whore. tanerexic. buh. plus she's half mexican. so guess what that means fellas... she's going to be HUGE when she gets older. it's in the heritage... you won't be able to fit those hips through the door. unless she gets it all sucked out. which she prob will. so soak it in now boys b.c it won't last long.
There are now pictures of Jessica Alba and her parents on google. Just type in, "Jessica Alba and her parents", and a site will come up, with pictures to view. JA has different lips then both her mother and father.
Her father is Mexican and her mother is Danish/French-Canadian.
hmm i wonder why u cant find any flaws? could it be because shes.... hmmm....been AIRBRUSHED?? duh.
NEITHER DO I NORA. JUST ANOTHER PIECE OF SHIT COVERED IN GLITTER AND MAKEUP
I WOULDNT TOUCH THAT UGLY HUGE FOOTED CUNT WITH MY WORST ENEMIES PRICK!
SLOBBA IS GROSS AND FAT
DONT THINK SO? SUCK IT BITCHES
Are you kidding me that first top picture she looks preety fucking ugly theres something retarded looking about her mouth and her face looks too long and she looks absolutely NOTHING like Angelina Jolie her skin and her hair are really shit colored, Im sorry but she just reminds me of shit I dont find her beautiful at all. I never watched one single episode of dark angel.
NOPE. JUST ANOTHER ZLIST WANNA BE PRISS. A 7? MORE LIKE A NEGATIVE 5!!!!!
I HOPE SHE SUFFERS A DEATH LIKE IN HOSTEL. GOD I REALLY HATE THAT OVERRATED SCUMMY PRISSY BITCH. FUCK IT ID ACTUALLY PAY TO SEE THE BITCH CRY, THEN DIE
News of the World reports only the hottest news in the world today, ok. It's similar to Fox News. They hit the news and get the interviews before anyone else.
As for explaining "Crazy Western Sex," "Crazy Asian Sexy," "Ghetto Western Sex," "White Trash Western Sex," "Wild Amazon Sex," and other variations of sex from all around the world, I can't really go into it here in a simple comment. I think Jackson might be able to do a post on the types as he has more worldly experience. haha
All I can say is the following:
White trash western sex = involves no condoms & results in bybees. Sometimes many bybees.
Crazy Western Sex: sometimes Involves many parterns as it is the most liberal type of sex in the world, Making-up is a major part of the society & therefore as you must know, Make-up sex can be pretty wild in itsself.
Ok, I'm going to stop there before I get fired.
My excitement was about the break-up. That's mean of me. Anyway, why would Justin be bored with crazy western sex? and what is crazy western sex? i like the diaz whip theory, though. i didn't actually read the us weekly article so i don't know what they had to say. but i'll be reading it soon, i'm sure.
anyway, what is up with these crazy british tabloids with the detailed sexual accounts? house-your-father? wtf? judging by the pictures of that girl, she looks kinda attention hungry. it seems to me that this british tabloid is disguised as entertainment news but is actually celebrity-smut-fiction. i guess that's sort of the definition of tabloid, though.
Not that it matters to my comment, but was your excitement linked to the break-up or seeing the picture of Justin?
Dude, Justin is having problems b/c he's bored now that he has had crazy, western sex with cameron and all her hot friends around 50 times.
Justin knows he's young only once, so he must pack up his bags and move out.
THat's just one theory. the other one of course involves Justin being tied up each night while cameron beats & gags him with her 'secret' DiazWhip. HE cannot take the abuse & also likes one of CD's hotter friends, so he's checkin' out.
I think it will be a messy break-up.
I get the feeling no one would be interested in my posts on Justin. But I just saw this week's US weekly and it looks like Justin and Cameron might be having problems. I saw the cover and got excited. Anyway, thanks for the encouragement, but I don't need the verbal abuse. (or would it be written abuse?)
Exactly, man. SOmething extra means making direct contributions to your field---may it movies, soaps, reality TV, TV, porn, politics, music---whatever.
Once again, take for example Michael Jackson. obviously, he's not the most attractive man alive, but the shear magnitude of his musical contributions & not to mention his contributions to the Tabloid industry, gives him AN EXTRA .5 bloody points! He went from Super, God awful ugly to someone who's just Super ugly.
So, once again, you knock out the bloody TV roles, add a few action flicks or drama roles w/ leading men, you have a 8.25 here. It’s all about supply & demand!
Bottom line is this: The rating is based on personal perspective. If Jackson & I were to do a rating on a Chinese supermodel straight out of the Guan Dong Province in Southern China, I’m sure his rating would be much higher than mine, but I can guarantee that he wouldn’t give her a 10 while I gave her a 3. Beauty is universal, my friends. I’m sure the differential would more or less be +/- 2-3 points, max. My point here is that personal opinion is a major part of this system, but at the same time, if keep handing out 9s and 10s every time you see someone who gets your jucies bubbling, then you're screwing up the system, in the long run. If you hand out your high scores sparingly, you'll essentially have a moderate amount of 'Really Ugly people,' followed by a little more 'just ugly' people, then a major part of the Rated People in the middle who are hot but require lots of exercise and/or surgery, and lastly those super unique 5/10 people @ the high end. This rating system is ultra superficial by design, ok. Don't hate, my byyyyybeees!
Awww ... you know as one of the only women on this site, I had to represent and be a drama queen!! Just trying to get a rise outta ya! You know I love you man!!!! I like a little drama. Its fun!
And with respect to posting stuff. I just don't find all the celebrity stuff so interesting anymore. Sigh. I wish I did. I used to know everything that was going on in the Movie World. Now, I'm a nerd who does crossword puzzles and knits all day. The signs of aging and the quarter life crisis man.
DUDE!
no ways. I am a student of Love & respect, man. I do not diss anyone except very famous people (and friends occasionally)
I just meant that you're the only chick on here & wouldn't mind the help pushing the female voice!
TP, I would never think of laying down a diss on my Paad Thai! I love Paad Thai too much to do that.
Natalie Portman is oh so yummy too....she ranks high on my tasty scale. My favorite Natalie Portman highlight...when they did those bits for the MTV Movie Awards w/ Jimmy Fallon hosting and one of the things he wanted in order to do it was to have a date with her...and then the basturd got to make out with her...that was hilarious.
You say that the chick needs that little extra something to push them up to the 8-10 scale...is it like they have to done some awesome nude scene, home sex video, posed for playboy, or chronicled freak?
...like take for example another tasty, Roselyn Sanchez. Now, she's not very accomplished in her movie roles, her voice is goddam sexy, pretty facial features, and has a smokin body. Now based on that alone you might not give her a high rating...but if you've seen Boat Trip and know the banana scene then would that be an example of that lil' something extra that pushes you over?
I can't believe you said that Moe. I'm hurt.
Sams: Jackson's landing a bonus @ work, so that might be why he's in a good mood.
By the way, you've got amazing commentary skills like Wavin. Melissa needs your help, god damn it! You can put those skills to use in bloody posts (i.e. reviewing Justin's new music (songs that I think actually have nice beats), Justin's relationship w/ Cameron (a woman's perspective) & Justin's relationship w/ Cameron following the news about Cameron's S&M; past (is Justin Cameron's Bitch or is it the other way around---hahah). If anything, it will be super funny to read---I cannot guarantee Jackson's (or anyone's) approval, though. haha
Brian: Dude, you must give Nat the 5-10 mins it takes eto do a mini-write up justifying the 8 you're forking over to her.
My friends and I recently made a list of top 10 ladies that I would want to get with, and Ms. Alba here made the list. I do agree with Moe that breaking into the 8-10 scale is very difficult and requires something more than good looks and a body that just wont quit. She is extremely beautiful but just lacks that extra something the pushes her to the top. A girl I would give an 8 to with just about the same beauty but with the extra umph is Natalie Portman. Comments?
I guess I don't really get your scale. Your 10 sounds a little freaky. And it incorporates predictions for old age? Can you break it down a little more? Like what's a 5?
Look, Jackson agreed with me!
Crossing the elusive 8 barrier takes a lot, Sams. I understand she's gorgeous, man, but will the beauty she holds so closely follow her into old age? My score hedges against that possibility.
Plus, 7 is an AMAZING score, alright. Michael Jackson was a 1.75 (Note: 0.50 was awarded to him because he will always be the 'King of Pop' & 'Bad' is one of the greatest albums of all time), so Ms. Alba is light years more aesthetically pleasing than Miguel!
As you read future ratings, you'll come to appreciate my current scores.
Is it wrong for me to have thought she was cute when she was on Flipper...c'mon i know all you guys out there thought too that this girl was going to be hot once she turned 18.
...I agree with Samantha...you gotta alteast let her crack the 8. barrier. I mean, okay, I think her hotness took a hit when she got together with that older co-star guy on Dark Angel but didn't she drop him?
I haven't seen Honey (aka Glitter, pt.2) but she looks really tasty in that...but what else has she done since then? I think the most memorable part from all the commercials I seen for Honey is when Missy goes, "I want Honey"....sounds so dorky.
on the "I wanna see her naked and poke her" scale...she's a perfect 10.
Come on. You can't even give her an 8 or 9 ? She's gorgeous. And the "blimps" you were looking for - I'm sure they were already airbrushed out. It makes me wonder what you think of "regular" girls. But I like your suggestions for her career. Is Dark Angel even on anymore?