Posts from July 2014

That boy is MINE!!!

 early in the evening, before sex by 13

Its offical!! Thank freakin god. Its about time. He finally broke up with that crack head.

Kirsten Dunst and Jake Gyllenhaal Split

See the blurb

There will probably be an article about it soon. I will post it as soon as I find it.

My dreams have finally come true. I have been contemplating who was going to be my crush of the week and it was a toss up! How appropriate for this info to come to me now!!!

Why in God’s green earth do I think Jake Gyllenhaal is deemed worthy of my crush of the week? I’ll tell you. To me, he is the boy next door. He’ll help you with your groceries and fix your light bulb when its out. He’ll look at you like you are the only girl in the whole wide world that matters. Sigh. He’s got great style and a fabulous smile.

I think Jake looks like a cuddler. It makes him more appealing to me that if he were mine he would hug me and cuddle me. I like that. I bet he would be tender and gentle when we are lying naked in bed. Ahhh yes. That is what I like about him. I think he would be really attentive. Sigh. I am so in love with Jake Gyllenhaal. Plus I think he looks kinda dorky. I have a soft spot for the nerdy/dorky ones.

I think if he saw the Thai Princess he would fall madly in love with her. One day.

Hungry?

 in the middle of the afternoon by 3

As I perused the SF gate, I came across this article. Man, what are they gonna smuggle next?

A suspect swallowed nearly $50,000 in cash in a failed attempt to smuggle the funds out of Colombia, officials said Monday.

Bogota airport police said they X-rayed the suspect because he was acting nervous while preparing to board a flight for Lima, Peru.

The photo showed dozens of latex-wrapped packets inside his stomach and police assumed it was drugs, since such a smuggling technique is used by traffickers.

But as the suspect passed the packages from his body, police discovered they were filled with cash — $47,500.

View All Photos ›

Jack-In-The-Crack News

 after a late four martini lunch by 0

Since we only report the most important news, we thought you’d want to know: Jack in the Box Inc. now accepts Visa, MasterCard and Discover in all 1,553 of its company-owned Jack in the Box restaurants and in many of its 435 franchised locations. So yes, now you don’t have to look for loose change under your dirty car seats & trash cans-I mean ashtrays. Yes-yes, that means fewer of those 2 for $1.00, heart-disease-tacos! Now we can eat those healthy, more expensive Ultimate Cheeseburgers. Anyway, some journalist took her/his time to write a story about this news release here.

The Ashlee Monster Attacks!

 late in the evening by 9

AshlEY Monster
This is from Ashlee’s Letterman appearance last week. First, lets take 2 seconds to pay respects to the ears of the audience members who had to sit through many Ashlee-screams. [____1_________2____ ok, that's enough.] In the photo above, at first glance, Ashlee looks as if she’s hunched over and screaming into the mic, but a closer look reveals that it’s only her guitarist to her side while Ashlee is standing upright & screaming. Ok, this is a waste of space, so I’m going to stop.

Ok-ok, one more try. Here’s a photo that will surely wake you up if you’re feelin’ the extra Monday night Martini bringing you down @ work this morning. Click the photo to increase its effectiveness (Make sure to squint before you click, though.)
Squint and Click here...

Ugly Big Brother 5

 in the middle of the afternoon by 1

I just saw God awful photos of the Big Brother show going on in England. I would post them, but I don’t want to scare off any visitors. My God, those people are damn ugly. Is it an English thing or simply the people they chose?! (My apologies to the good lucking Britons.) I don’t know what would compel me to watch ugly people living together and God forbid, have sex all day long with different partners. Anyway, I have yet to see any shows from the season on this side of the Atlantic, but I’ve been hoping that one of these days it’ll be on when I’m watching TV. Unfortunatley, I have yet to be TiVO’d. They really need to give out the box for like 50 bucks and make their money on the reoccurring, monthly income.

DY-NA-MITE!!!

 after a late four martini lunch by 4

So I enjoyed a mellow friday night watching the amazingly funny movie called Napoleon Dynamite. I am a big fan of nerds, the minorities of the world, and AWESOME dance routines. This movie was just so funny. There was no plot, but it didn’t matter. You just sit there and laugh because you don’t know how else to react. This movie rocks.

Let nerd persecution END all over the world!!!!!

I LOVE NERDS!!!!

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