Posts from July 2014

Beyonce is Queen Booty

 in the weewizzle hours by 47

Queen Booty
The ghettolicious Smooth Magazine (it’s like a colored people only version of Maxim—definitely not something you’d find in Steve’s toilet) has released their top 100 list of Smooth Beauties.

In Bastardly style, here they are, my brothas…(just incase you forgot what they look like, just click away)
1. BEYONCE KNOWLES
2. HALLE BERRY
3. STACEY DASH (I’m shocked, too)
4. ALICIA KEYS (#1 in my heart, baby)
5. CLAUDETTE ORTIZ (Ow! Foxy ladaay!)
6. SANAA LATHAN (Whatevs…)
7. JENNIFER LOPEZ
 (all I have to say is: 1 beeeeelyon dollars!)
8. TYRA BANKS (Dear Lord O’ Mighty!)
9. TRINA (Ghettolicious all the way)
10. JANET JACKSON (She should retire already…)

More info on the downfall of our favorite sad Pop Princess

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 7

Just checkin up on the gossip and I found this little snipet. Sigh. She seriously needs to stop being so desprate. Seriously. Obviously he is just getting married to her for her money.

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Thoughts & Prayers

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 6

An office card floating around for a very kind woman in the office whose mommy is in the hospital due to a severe heart attack. Let’s hope she recovers quickly & lives a long & healthy life!

Aneeeeeyway, of course (like any other office around the country) there’s a card floating around and here are the first three notes in the card:

1. My thoughts & prayers are with you.
2. You are in my thoughts & prayers.
3. Please know my thoughts and prayers are with you & your family.

[more to come as people enter their 'thoughts & prayers']

Yes, I’m going to hell.

Ratings - Williams Sisters’ Double Fault

 in the weewizzle hours by 10

The Williams Sisters may win every championship on the ATP tour, but they are far from winning every man’s heart. Correction: With the exception of gold diggers, of course.
Forehead Williams
Elder Williams’ major flaw is her 7″ forehead. Enough said on that.

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Maddox Jolie: One Lucky Asian

 in the weewizzle hours by 44

Maddox & Angelina
Meet: Rath Vibol (a.k.a. Maddox Jolie)

This particular photo was taken @ the premiere of Shark Tale. Dude, I have a hunch that this lucky kid is going to grow up to be someone big in Hollywood. Think of how many Asian parents would first suffer a heart attack & then contemplate suicide if their kid walked in the house one day with not only a bleached mohawk, but also several tattoos. In the Jolie house, this will earn praise.

How do I get in line for adoption because I hear Angelina is back in the market? This time, some Russian kid is going to win the Adoption Mega Lottery. I’ll end with a classic Angelina quote on adoption:

I’m always in the process. I’ve kinda done all my paperwork in case that day comes.
Life inspires me, my son inspires me. I just want to live a very full life. [BBC]

Hero

 early in the evening, before sex by 5

I don’t remember if I had written something about this or not … but I’ll just do it again. IF you liked Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon you will LOVE Hero. This movie is positively mesmerizing (if you can watch a movie and read sub-titles at the same time). THE BEST color schemes and art direction EVER! The fight scenes were pretty sick too. I think it has something for everyone. Jet Li played the Hero perfectly. Trust me, you don’t want to wait for this one on video. You need to watch Hero on the big screen with THX man. I give this movie 5 gold stars baby!!!!

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