Monthly Archives: October 2004

Plastic Brook Burke?

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Evolution of Brooke Burke

Brooke’s comments on the plastic way of life.

Plastic surgery can certainly be a life changing experience. One of the most important aspects of making that decision to move forward is to fully educate yourself! The Naked Truth Video Series provides accurate and relevant answers to all your possible questions. I truly believe this series is invaluable in helping you make the right choices! [The Naked Truth]

Furthermore, notice who she’s married to: Dr. Garth Fisher (plastic surgeon & producer of the video mentioned above). You know with a name like Garth, she was truly thinking long-term with respect to plastic surgery options.

So what kind of surgeries has our Brooke gone through? Here’s a list of shit that’s been thrown around.
1. Definite cheek lift
2. Multiple nose jobs…who knows? Her hubby probably has a nice setup at home.
3. I’ve heard she got her teeth fixed (i.e. larger teeth stolen from horses)
4. Boobs are obvious, of course.

After all her surgeries, Brooke is still hot, but her smiles are noticeably getting tighter and tighter. Brooke, divorce the surgeon before it’s too late. You’re just asking for trouble.

Paris Playin' Mark Philippoussis (Boy #8953)

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Paris & Doggie
Paris with Tinkerbell’s Pimp

First of all, can Paris even say or spell Philippoussis? Also, I can never-ever in a 100 years see Paris Hilton playing a sport other than Sex. I give this 4 months. Anyway, looks like Mark P. has watched plenty of Paris porn & now wants to take her for a run in real life. I’d say smart move in dumpin’ the old & gettin’ in w/ the new.

We’ll at least Paris is not stupid like her sister who falls in love all too easily. Paris, I’m sure you can do better than Mark Philippoussis, though. Seriously.

But this time she thinks he’s the one and blah blah blah.

I’ve got a new man, and I’m head over heels in love. [USA Today]

Oh yeah, side note: Club Paris is opening up in Vegas on New Years Eve. (The partaay will be @ the Aladdin).

The Alien Woman

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Jorge Vazquez
Compliments of Jorge Vazquez, Summer 2005, Madrid

Long neck, super lanky body, crazy eyes & on top of it all, a scary stare. The suit’s design looks as if someone just painted on black tar onto her body. Nothing special, but should give you people something to compare future swimsuits against.

Oddly Sexy Styles by Imitation of Christ

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Imitation of Christ, Spring 2005 Collection, NYC

I know I might go to hell for saying this, but eventhough these styles have a Biblical touch, they are undoubtedly sexy. Am I wrong? I don’t know even if these rags qualify as swinsuits, but I dig it. What you guys think? By the way, this is in the running for my Summer, 2005 swimsuit contest.

Reason for entry: Quick access to all body parts.
And…yes, I’m a bastard!

Gypsy Ashlee Simpson On SN-Lip Syncing

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Live TV, baby
We’ve repeatedly expressed that Asslee’s talent is merely a facade created by her money-hungry father & yesterday it was finally revealed in front of millions of people.

A still-humiliated Simpson apologized to her fans - and blamed her band for playing the wrong song. [NY Daily News]

That is evil. [Watch Clip of Scandalous Apology]

I don’t give a shit about the absolutely horrible-horrible [watch a clip] attempt at lip syncing a’right. Everyone does it—from Madonna to Britney to unknown really good lip syncers who have yet to be caught. But what the hell was that Midwest-gypsy-dance after the lip syncing debacle was revealed, man? I think the entire band was literally shocked/disgusted! Did she really think she could just sneak that through unnoticed? Anyway, here’s a funny video made by the great people at College Humor.

Ashlee, for future performances (i.e. your performance @ Monday night’s Radio Music Awards (NBC)), please keep from dancing (you’re no Britney) & please-please get your cue right if you’re gonna lip sync! Now to end w/ some words from Ashlee in an interview w/ Lucky Magazine.

The Question: What are your takes on lip-synching?

Asslee’s Regrettable Response: I’m totally against it and offended by it. I’m going out to let my real talent show, not to just stand there and dance around. Personally, I’d never lip-synch. It’s just not me.

The View's Voluptuous Star Jones

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Star Jones: Don’t PUKE!
This is why I’ve never watched The View.

On a recent trip to Jamaica, here’s Star w/ her anorexic husband, Al Reynolds. For some odd reason he has his head down—almost as if he has seen something frightening or maybe he’s feeling nauseous? Star, you gotta…
1. stop being on top when having sex &
2. allow Al to eat some of his steak dinners before you take it from him.

God damn it, I’m so mean!

Ann Coulter Too Quick For Arizona

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That is not popcorn on her forehead, damn it!

Socalite’s Life via Smoking Gun & Gawker report on the Ann Coulter pie incident. It was pretty hilarious, I admit, but for God’s sake, those two guys had bad aim. Seriously, if you’re gonna put so much on line, why not make sure to hit your target! Here’s a review of the video.

1. Pie missing Ann by a long shot
2. Ann pullin’ a move right out of The Matrix & dodging the pie (DAMN IT!)
3. Pie thrower #1
4. Nice pair of legs (from a distance, of course)

Ann Coulter Pie Thrower #2
1. Ann’s Elbow as she dashed back for cover
2. Pie #2 in ready to be launcher (I think)
3. Pie thrower #2 (missed again!)
4. Nice pair of legs (from a distance, of course)

Handcuffed Pie Thrower!
Seriously, aren’t the handcuffs kind of unnecessary? He’s a liberal who had the balls to throw a fucking pie!!

Suckaaaaaaaaaas!

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Well … I just wanted to let everyone know I’m going SNOWBOARDING tomorrow. Yes that is correct. I will be snowboarding in October. Because of all the rain/snow Kirkwood has decided to open this weekend. Sweeeeeeeeeeeet! I know you are all jealous of ME! Muwahahahahahahahaha (evil laugh!)

The Bastardly: Lindsay Lohan Denies Implants

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Lindsay Lohan
She was on TRL very recently promoting her single (Rumors, I think) and she was asked the simple & obvious question, ‘What rumor makes you the sickest?’

From all the shit she could have said, she proceeded to pull out her superficial credibility from inside her bra & then tossed it on the ground so she could spit & stomp on it. She cold-heartedly replied with:

Problaby the one about me having breast implants.

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