Posts from July 2014

Rachel Perry On The Howard Stern Show

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 5

Have you guys seen this girl? She reminds me a bit of Gisele, except she’s not as supermodely (if that makes any sense). She’s a freaky VJ on VH1. By the way, does anyone watch that channel anymore?

Well, Rachel was recently on the show pluggin’ away a MAXIM Swimsuit (a.k.a. skimpy bikini) DVD. I don’t know, but she came off a little fake to me. Kind of kissing up, but at the same time you knew she didn’t like the whole dirty aura of the show. Anyway, seeing as to how Ms. Perry was there for the DVD about chicks in bikinis, Howard naturally asked her to try on one from his collection. She used every excuse in the book. He gave up. Then he asked her to try on a funky Irish school girl outfit. Hilarious, I tell you. She refused on this as well. Rachel, my sistah! A little skin here and there is harmless, baby! Plus, it’ll help sell DVDs.

Ok, here’s what she was sporting the day of her interview. Side note: this girl is tattooed up! Check out her back.

Rachel Perry
Those are wings, right?

Angelina - Esquire’s Most Beautiful & Sexy Alcoholic!

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God have mercy on that small bottle of booze! (Is that tequila?)

Ok so this has been known for a week or so now, but I was waiting for the perfect photo to make this post a reality. In the latest edition of Esquire Mag, you’ll see a beautiful layout of Angelina, along with an interview. I’m gonna get pics up from the mag later, but for the meantime, below are a few lines from the interview to drive you craaazaay.

The tattoos, the blood, cutting myself - it’s all very much who I am. If you knew me privately, you might think I was even wilder than my reputation. But I’m also much softer. I’m a soft woman. Softer than people think.

Can I feel just how soft you are? …Pretty please?

If you ask people what they’ve always wanted to do, most people haven’t done it. That breaks my heart.

You hear that, everyone?! We are young! Rise up!

The media reports things in certain ways. They know exactly what they’re doing. Like in Darfur, Sudan, they say that the violence is Arabs against blacks. You read this and you get a certain picture in your mind. But the truth is, on both sides, the people all look exactly the same! Most people don’t realize this. It’s significant.

Those bastards!

For a while there I started to experiment a little with g forces; I got a little g-force happy. I did it with Madd in the plane the other day. And his little face turned red and he couldn’t stop laughing.

I’m telling you, the little bugger won the Adoption Mega Lottery! Go Madd!

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Sweet Website For Da Kids!

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Ok, this site has pretty sweet videos (if you have a twisted sense of humor, that is). I first watched a wicked video of two muchachas duking it out by the lockers—oh fond high school memories came rushing into my head. Then I watched in amazement as a fat kid busted up some little guy who was throwing food at him. This little dude deserved what he got, alright. Enjoy!

Compliments of Exbyte.net

60-Year Old Mob Boss Killed In India!

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Not My Dad
No Brian, this is not a photo of my dad.

Finally, they got the old bastard. He’s been running around since the 60s, for God’s sake! Some kind words follow.

In July 1993, Veerappan - who had a 20 million rupee (£243,000) bounty on his head - was said to have strangled his newly born female baby because she was the third girl in a row born to him.

Dude! That’s just not right! Who the hell strangles a baby?!

Teri Hatcher @ The Stern Show

 in the middle of the afternoon by 7

As promised, here’s a photo of Teri Hatcher the day she was Howard Stern Show…
Sexy Teri Hatcher

I told you she was hot!! Does she know how to plug a show or what?

Now, close your eyes (yes, even you Samantha & Melissa) and imagine her slowly crawling on the ground towards you. No biting (Jackson)!

Virgin’s Outer Space Playlist!

 after a late four martini lunch by 0

Where will $200k take your ass? In a couple years, your ass can be flying into outer space while countless here on Earth suffer from hunger & disease. Apart from this indulgence being a one day ticket to hell, there’s also one thing for sure about Virgin Galactic SpaceShipOne’s first flight:

1. No brotha will be on the passenger list

Why make such a racist prediction? Well, just look at the play list that’s slowly taking shape, for God’s sake. There is no Jazz, no NWA, Snoop, Dre, Busta, Tupac, etc etc. No color, I tell you.

1. Bloody 200-year old, David Bowie leading the way with Space Oddity. This will go down in history as the first song to be played when paying-humans first headed into space. SAD. Truly fucking sad. [Ireland Online]
2. The Police - Walking on the Moon
3. Oasis - All Around the World
4. REM - Man on the Moon
5. Beatles - Here Comes the Sun

Here’s how Bowie’s Space Oddity tragically ends…

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The Bastardly Talk - Angelina, Dave Navarro, Club Paris, Housewives Hit

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 0

The latest in the business of superficial talk.

Angelina, I will be loyal. Promise. I’ll even learn Cambodian for Maddox.

I have to concentrate on my son. That’s why I have lovers right now and not a boyfriend. I don’t want my son to start calling somebody Daddy unless that person’s gonna stay. [Yahoo!]

Damn Dave Navarro, damn his ugly-ass goatee & damn his 30 inch penis!! Here he talks about having separate rooms so that when Carmen wants to get down with some of her girls in some lesbian action, she’ll have another room.

One of the things that we do, which is important I think for relationships is I have a room that’s my room and she has a room that’s her room. When we need space… That’s where my porn is, that’s where my digital satellite is. We have mutual corners so, like, if somebody’s edgy I can go in and play PlayStation for six hours at a time. [contactmusic]

Angelina Jolie wants to build a little trust.

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Brooke Burke in November issue of Playboy

 after a late four martini lunch by 12

Back for another round at Playboy!!!

My dreams have been answered and Brooke Burke has once again graced the cover of Playboy and given us pages to stare at her amazing body and oh so delicious boobies (though they are after-market bolt-ons). But who cares if she got fake titties….her exotic mix of ethnicities makes her so goddam hot that I just wanna stare at that face and the slimmy toned body.

You might recall that she posed for Playboy back in May 2001. Now that was an amazing pictoral too. I have Brooke to thank for getting me through some lonely nights and I bet so do a bunch of you other horny guys out there! Now, we got more ammo to help us through the lonely nights. Thank you Brooke!!!!

Okay, so to compare the two pictorals. I honestly have to say the one from May 2001 was a little better. In this one she shows the titties but no real money shots. Atleast in the first pictoral she was completely naked in all the pics. In this one she wears some belt thingy so we gotta just try to look hard through it or just imagine what goodies lie beneath. Overall though, I’m still glad to have purchased my copy yesterday. Brooke is so goddam hot that if I just saw even one boob in person I think I’d be horny for a week.

…okay, besides the Brooke pictoral I thought I’d comment on the others in the issue.

Miss Teen USA poses nude…oh yes, this has caused a scandal in the beauty pageant world. Okay, this chick is like 19…but goodness she is fine! Her body is sweet and tasty looking. 19…that’s all I gotta say. Nice and tight all over….god, i’m a sick fiend…I swear, it’s a sickness!!!

Playmate of the month is that chick Cara from Road Rules South Pacific and she was on The Inferno. Now, okay, I watched some of that Road Rules and The Inferno and I thought she was a cutie but I didn’t think she was Playboy material. Like on that Road Rules they had that Mary Beth chick who posed for Playboy and she had a smokin body…but Cara was a cutie that didn’t have a total smokin body. Well, I guess things done changed. Damn, her body is fucken tight!!! Have mercy on me but damn, she’s rised fast on the tastibility scale. If you’re not a Brooke fan, this chick is a Mtv reality show star so you should buy it for her!!!!

Overall, this is a great issue of Playboy….all you horny guys out there run out to your local corner store and pick up your copy today!!!!!!!!

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