Posts from July 2014

Girls Kissing Around The World!

 around evening with martini & women in hand by 22

World of Girls Kissing

I know-I know, my posts are always a little bias, but no one ever told Melissa she couldn’t post half-naked photos of Justin Timberlake or Jude Law, ok. Anyway, this one’s for the lesibans, bi-sexuals, experimenters & of course, the horny 10-30 year old male visitors (yes, pretty much the entire population).

Here we have a special website. It’s a place where you can learn, as well—we’re talkin’ about the special type of mathematics measuring the density of freaky girls around the world (particularly Europe). Top 3 places with the most # of chicks willing to make-out on camera (per website):

1. Denmark (the chicks above)
2. Sweden
3. Germany

So there you have it, friends. The World of Girls Kissing provides hours of browsing time! Just make sure you’re not at work when you decide to browse (especially you, Wavin).

Gushing

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 2

I know no one cares … but I’m a proud aunt of yet another nephew. Justin (although I’m not sure he was, I’d like to think he was named after the one and only Justin Timberlake) was born this morning at 2:20am and is 8 lbs and 10 oz. I can’t wait to see him!!!!

View All Photos ›

JUST VOTED!

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 8

saaad
Puff, will your head fit in the booth?

Just came back from the polls. I tallied one up for Kerry. Let’s see how the drama plays out later tonight. It was fairly busy @ around 3, so by P. Diddy’s god-awful ‘Vote or Die’ campaign was a fashionable successful.

Poll closing times for those of you interested.

Election Day: All Bloodshot Eyes On Alaska

 after a late four martini lunch by 1

Vote Alaska

Voters in Alaska will decide on Tuesday whether to make their state the first in the country to legalize the sale, possession or use of marijuana by adults. [Reuters]

Just think about the ramifications if this goes through?! One thing’s for sure: Alaskan tourism will skyrocket!

Potato Penis For Sale On Ebay!

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 12

Potato Penis
I shit you not!

Curiously shaped, single whole potato, grown at my mother’s allotment.

How sweet is that? Unfortunately Melissa bought this item just yesterday! Damn you! Melissa, how much was shipping from England?

Make sure you check out the Questions & Comments towards the bottom:

This potatoe appears to have genital warts, will this be cured before sending the item out?

hahahaha —I know, I know, I’m horrible!

Priceless Art?

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 0

Paul Gauguin’s Maternité (II)
That would be Paul Gauguin’s 1899 Maternité (II). ooh, a woman breast feeding. Tell me what I’m missing here, art buffs.

Here’s a pitch by Sotheby’s (one of the auctioneers):

This iconic work is estimated to sell in the region of $40/50 million. Maternité (II), painted while Gauguin was living in the Punaauia district of Tahiti, is an ode to fertility. The subject of this painting is maternity, and the artist has rendered this time honored-theme with a rich and highly personalized interpretation.

Modigliani’s 1919 Jeanne Hebuterne (Devant une Porte)
Modigliani’s 1919 Jeanne Hebuterne (Devant une Porte)

There’s another, but apprarently this one’s not as special b/c it’s only going to pull in an estimated $25mil for some lucky people! What a steal—and I don’t mean the art. What has our world come to? We’re literally throwing money away on shit that will sit on our walls (collecting dust) for people in high society to admire. I can understand if some guy’s buying it to get some extra phuntaay on the side (every night of the week), but seriously, even then, no ass is worth that much—even J Lo’s ass (which happens to be insured for an absurd $1billion).

You want to place a bid? Read up a review of all the pieces being sold @ The NY Metro.

Daily Hit: Eminem, Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson, & Trousersnake

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 2

Tasty M&Ms
Trick or Treat!

I would take it back to where I made a comfortable living. I would just make music, have people appreciate it, even if it’s a few people that like it, and be able to walk to a mall, walk to a store. [Ireland Online]

That’s Em wanting to hit the rewind button on his fame, but there’s no talk about giving up all the money that the fame has brought into his life. Sorry, but I’ve heard a lot of famous people spit that line out, so I call his bluff.

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! Nick Lachey is finally fed up of sleeping with annoying, high-pitched, lop-sided-boobed Jessica Simpson. I don’t blame him. I’ve seen one too many interviews of this chick in which she’s super dazed and confused b/c she’s trying too hard to remember what her daddy told her to say. One of my trusty sources, ehem-ehem—Star Magazine—has learned these two “lovebirds” are on the brink of calling it quits. They even (God knows how) consulted with an MTV executive snitch who claims their popular reality show is staged b/c they don’t spend time with each other once the cameras are off. Surprise-surprise.

Apparently, the alleged incident happened at a bachelor party for Nick’s sound engineer. Besides Nick, his brother Drew was there, and somebody else from 98 degrees. I can’t really quote the stripper, but to paraphrase, she said that she had relations with another woman, and had some whipped cream and toys and stuff, and that’s all she’s allowed to say. Well, Star magazine says that when she was “involved” with the other woman, Nick reportedly joined in. Star magazine asked for a response from Nick’s attorney who acknowledged that Nick went to the party, but denied that he sat anywhere near the girls or had anything to do with inviting them to the house in Hollywood Hills [JAM'N, 94.5]

Yeah, I’m sure he was standing in the other room & watching a live feed of what was going on in the living room. Raaaaeeeeaat! Dude, Nick is a normal guy who’s on the verge of going nuts b/c he made a mistake by marryin’ the girl he wanted to merely sleep with. Tsk tsk, Nick.

Obviously Nick Lachey is not the smartest of boybandies. He should really take pointers from Justin Timberlake. Justin is da player of players & that’s not b/c he has slept with Britney, Cameron & countless other girls at various clubs around the world, but b/c he knows the art of half-ass commitment. Just look at his marriage delays with Cammy. Dude, this guy’s so smart that he’s even got his mom to create drama to delay the wedding. Amazing! Anyway, here’s a photo for Samantha & Missy to drool over. Courtesy of This Is London.
The New Justin
Don’t get too excited, girls. They’re painted on for a movie (Alpha Dog - Scroll down for updates) he’s workin’ on.

Lakers News

Michael Ventre of MSNBC claims that the new Lakers will go into a massive championship drought and turn into the Clippers. Dude, this guy needs to be fired b/c he doesn’t know anything. Other people don’t know what to expect, but I know one thing: Lakers are champions b/c they are flush with cash. If they don’t do well this year—no worries—b/c we’ll make proper investments and be back next year, but I can guarantee we won’t be out for too long. I’ll end with a very simple line:

Thirteen of the 17 other champions either beat the Lakers or beat the team that beat the Lakers in the playoffs. [LA Times]

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