Posts from July 2014

Paris Brings Hustler Mag To The Dinner Table

 in the middle of the afternoon by 5

PARIS
Paris staring at Nicole’s boobies.

Yes, my friends of all ages, Hustler mag was recently conned into coughing up millions for 23 photos of a presumably (hopefully) drunk Ms. Hilton making out with another piss-drunk chick @ some dance club. David Hans Schmidt, the lucky bastard who sold the pics, describes Paris “with a brunette at a nightclub, cavorting with her, dancing and cuddling with her and fondling her.” Very nice-very nice.

Mr. Schmidt, a smart Jewish man who obviously understands the media business, went on to say a few more thoughtful words about the scandalous layout.

It’s a hot, passionate serious makeout session. It does not appear to be two girls kidding around or two girls kissing each other hello. It seems to be pretty hot and pretty heavy. [Yahoo]

I personally think that Paris Hilton’s fame is slowly peaking. Very over exposed (in all aspects, mind you). The only thing more outrageous could be Paris recording herself making love in the middle of Time Square to none other than bloody Elton John!

Angelina’s Alexander Interview

 in the middle of the afternoon by 9

Angelina Jolie
Dear lord!

The photo above is from a screening of Alexander last night in the City. Anyway, check out a recent Cinema Con interview with Angie. Here’s an excerpt in which she talks about working with Colin Farrell.

He is the only actor that I felt could play Alexander. He is Everyman�the kind of man who supports others. He comes across as a natural leader who loved the men that he worked with. He was their best buddy, and it’s believable that they would have followed him into battle or anywhere if asked. Also, Colin comes from a very good place. He does not need to be the center of attention. He is neither arrogant nor selfish, just a really hard working, wild, free- spirited person.

So what’s with all this bisexual stuff that’s actually helping to promote the movie? Is there some guy on guy stuff or does Colin merely insinuate that he wants to have a threesome with Angie & one of his soldiers? Those Greeks, or should I say, those bastardly Greek lawyers, have issues.

Check out the rest of the interview here.

Bastardly Analysis: Why Is Usher With Naomi?

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 17

Usher
Naomi with some blind man.

Every hot, milk-chocolatey woman with a name & figure is curious as to why Usher is risking his life & reputation with Naomi. I thought about this for about 2 minutes and then it hit me! Usher is a genius, not up to Kevin Federline-genius, but still a genius. He’s sleeping with Naomi not only because he has a fetish for physically abusive sex, but because he wants free access to more beautiful women all around the world.

I like older women. With an older woman there are many things you can learn. [This Is London]

Learn what Ush? Maybe…how to make love to 10 supermodels at the same time?

You must understand that Naomi Campbell is in her early 30s & has been around the fashion industry for a while now. She has her boney fingers wiggling around in every market! We’re talkin’ free access to scandalously wild parties all around the bloody world—from NYC to London to Rome to Japan to Thailand to Australia to the sacred women of the South American continent!! Phew! That’s a lot of women for one man to handle, but apparently Usher is ready for the wildest rollercoaster ride of his life—a ride that has only sex & more sex around ever turn!

But, of course, before Usher can enjoy the sweet fruits of his labor, he must first pass through the Naomi monster!

May God have mercy on him.

Ron Artest Apologizes

 in the weewizzle hours by 4

Ron
A few seconds after this photo was taken, Ron Artest punched out some fat bastard who rushed the floor.

I’m trying to be positive. I’m a big fan of the Nobel Peace Prize. [Yahoo via People Mag]

I think the Nobel Peace Prize bit was a little over the top…

Tara’s Baby Sister Slowly Learning The Art

 late in the evening by 20

Colleen & Tara Reid
Baby Sister, Colleen Reid, taking baby steps toward full boob exposure.

How fake can these two chicks get? It’s seroiusly possible the sisters got a 2 for 1 deal on the boobs when they were both drugged up in Mexico. I don’t see any scary scars on Colleen’s boobs, but it’s possible she also has a nipple with a 3 inch radius, so we’ll have to wait a couple months until she has a real wardrobe malfunction to make a real assessment of boob job quality.

And, is Tara Reid anorexic?

View All Photos ›

Crazy Anna Nicole Lookin’ Downright Sexaay!

 after a late four martini lunch by 15

Anna Nicole
Signin’ mags @ The Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida

As you know, I call it like it is & it is a fact that Anna Nicole�s lookin� good. She still looks like she’s on crack, but she’s lookin’ good nonetheless. But I don’t, even for one second, believe that TrimSpa is wholly responsible for her rapid & extreme weight loss. For God’s sake, she was a 600lb hippo about a year back and now she’s a 130lb bombshell?!

By the way, the push up bra she sports is literally magic!!

Hottie Carmen Electra & Michelle Rodriguez In Vegas

 after a late four martini lunch by 11

Michelle Rodriguez, Carmen Electra
Both ladies lookin’ very sexy.

Upon first look, Michelle Rodriguez (from Blue Crush) is pretty hot, but I think her apparent hotness might be a result of Carmen’s extreme hotness carrying over onto Michelle. So what’s the moral of the story? Hang out with really good looking people!

This photo was taken last week at the opening of Ivan Kane’s Forty Deuce club at The Mandalay Bay in Las Vega. For those of you who don’t know of Forty Deuce…

Forty Deuce brings its famous burlesque nightlife concept from L.A. to the Vegas Strip. The Vegas venue features a low bar, plush lounge chairs, intimate tiered seating and cocktail tables with small lamps. The vibe provides the perfect backdrop for a group of dancers who perform their seductive striptease numbers, sans nudity, several times a night. Accompanying the ladies is a three-piece combo featuring stand-up bass, drums and a sax. In between performances, a DJ keeps the crowd on its feet. [Vegas.com]

1234567...Last »