Posts from July 2014

Pee-Pee Britney!

Britney
The latest from our favorite Attention Whore. Apart from her current painful state, as of late Brit has been a little too happy. Any guess on whether she’s really happy or possibly in the early stages of insanity?

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Naomi Campbell Still A Violent Crack Whore!

The woman, Amie Castaldo alleges that Naomi hit her in the face, bit her on the lip and yanked her to the floor screaming, “You fucking worthless Bitch!” [Jam'n 94.5]

That’s what Naomi did when poor Amie tried to quit her job from hell. Oh that’s not all, people.

Amie reportedly received medical treatment for the back injuries suffered in the incident and is now taking legal action. She says, “There is no end to the humiliation I suffered. She 100% needs to get help.” Naomi’s spokesperson on the other hand says, “It became clear after a few days that Amie was not going to work out. Naomi ended the brief working relationship in a professional manner and wished Amie the best.” Naomi’s going to have a lot of explaining to do because she has quite the history. Six years ago, she was sentenced to attend anger-management classes after striking her personal assistant with a mobile phone, and is currently being sued by another former assistant.

Once again, where exactly is the stress in Naomi’s life? After all, her job involves pacing up & down a flat & straight runway! Maybe it’s the fact that she has to keep her 20lb figure, but even that problem is taken care of with the crack she smokes every night.

Photos Of Jamie From Real World, San Diego

Jamie
Why do the big dudes always get all the action?!

Some bastardly friend, who also attends University of California, Riverside with Jamie, posted these snaps Jamie’s school life. [Sorry, no shower, skinny-dipping, topless snaps (yet), Jax.] Now what kind of friend would post up personal photos, you ask? Well, let’s just see. Here’s how this chick answers some pointed questions…

I guess it’s hard for me to say if she’s nice or not, from an outside perspective….since I’m friends with her. She’s a really nice girl but doesn’t take crap from people and isn’t really the type to be nice to everyone automatically. If she doesn’t know you, she’s not going to pretend to be your best friend just because you talk to her. She also gets annoyed when people approach her all the time when they recognize her. She often pretends to be on her cell phone, just so people will stay away. But I don’t know….obviously since I know her I think she’s a sweetheart, but for other people who don’t know her, she may appear as a @#%$.

If that’s not enough…

I’m not in any of those pictures….they’re just ones I took.

Here’s her response when people call her out on being some groupie…

Wow, excuse me. I was trying to be nice and post pictures of her because I’ve seen an interest in her here before. I don’t want any props for being her friend, that doesn’t even matter. I think it was kind of necessary to say I was her friend though when I’m here posting pictures of her, otherwise if I didn’t say anything, people would be like “how did you get those pictures of her?”

I still remain very skeptical…

Thanks for the people sticking up for me. Obviously I would not do something Jamie doesn’t approve of. You’re acting like I’m posting naked pictures of her or something. She’s used to being featured on television and on magazines….why would she care now?

So after all that BS, there remains one unanswered question: Are there naked photos of Jamie or what?

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Confirmed: Naomi’s Newest Bitch Is Usher

Naomi
Usher looks so happy!

Ush has apparently been ridin’ the boney rollercoaster for 3 months, already! That’s longer than some of her abused assistant slaves have lasted, so props to Ush for taking the weekly beatings from the over-exposed super model & ex-crack addict.

Naomi is a beautiful woman and I like her a lot. It’s too early to talk about love because for that you need time but we have a real special relationship. [This is London]

It sounds like Usher wants to just sleep with her, but in this next quote, Usher gets all poetic & cheesy…

It was like I was hit by a lightning bolt - the next night I asked her out. It was great to have her striding towards me with that walk of hers and ending up in my arms.

He can’t be serious.

May God have mercy on Usher.

Cakey Christina Aguilera & Jordy

Christina with too much makeup
100% Peja Stojakovic body double. I shit you not.

Does Christina have secret skin problems that she’s not telling the world about b/c as of late, all her photos look like she’s wearing 3lbs of makeup. Christina, you’re so beautiful & unless you got some mad-zits or surgical marks, you gotta trim down on the makeup, sistah!

As for this guy with the big ears in the photo above: We all know he doesn’t have more money than her. And, he’s obviously no Brad Pitt, so is it safe to assume that he either has an amazing personality or an abnormally large penis to be gettin’ a piece of Christina every night? Whatever he’s doing, let’s wish him luck & of course, ask him to purchase a nice video camera for those special moments!

Jordan, who works for the singer’s management company, has reportedly ordered a 20-carat ring, which he is expected to present to Christina on her 24th birthday next month. [Christina Zone]

Why o’ why must these people tie the knot?! Do they get tired of sleep with each other and feel the need to take it to another level, only to soon divorce?? Christina, look around yourself, man. It’s not gonna work out!! Why add a mournful chapter to your autobiography at such a young age?

Jennifer Tilly: Luckiest Bimbo In The World!

jenny
Apparently gay men really dig her.

Since I’m damn late in catching up with my Stern E! episodes, I saw a hilarious interview with Jennifer Tilly just now. She came on to plug another shitty Chucky movie. Other than chumps lookin’ for some foreplay & a one-night stand, who else goes to watch these super cheesy Chucky series?! I think I might have sneaked into one in 5th grade.

Anyway, the interview got interesting when Sam Simon (the Simpsons guy & Jen’s ex-husband) called in to spice up the convo by providing some interesting financial information. Apparently 13 episodes into The Simpsons, they bloody divorced and naturally Jenns now gets a cut of the royalties every time the bloody show airs! What could be worse? Ms. Tilly claims to never have watched a full episode of the show!! Don’t you love divorce laws? (Yes-yes, start shaking your heads.)

Howard was getting a headache from the whole thing so he took a call from Jennifer’s ex-husband, Sam Simon. Jennifer now has a Black AmEx card because of the divorce. She says that the money is still coming into her so it’s never going to end. Sam said that Jennifer actually told him not to have any dealings with The Simpsons back when they started out. Howard wondered if Sam has given Jennifer more than 20 million. Sam said it has to be more than that but Jennifer said she’s going to get an auditor to find out if that’s right. Sam told Howard that she keeps demanding more and more money. He said that she recently came to him and said she wanted to talk to him about something. He was hoping that she was going to give him his points back for The Simpsons but all she did was thank him. Jennifer said that she wanted him to put his talents into something that would be successful, because she didn’t think The Simpsons would be successful. Jennifer says that she still has to work these days to pay her bills to live her lifestyle. Sam said that she bought her house for cash and she lives down the street from Don Simpson who is a producer. [Marks Friggin]

For those of you who read that excerpt, you can bitch out Jennifer Tilly in a simple comment. Oh yeah, the reference to the Black Amex card sounds kinda sadistic, but it has a beautiful story behind it. Apparently Sam was on previously and told Howard that one of the clauses in the divorce settlement forced him to refill the card with $250k/year for Jennifer Tilly’s personal expenditures. Pretty damn hilarious, to say the least!

The system works amazingly for women, I tell you. All you girls studying & working hard in life, use this as motivation to whore yourself to extremely rich & creative men (or lesbian women)!!

Pacers v. Detroit: Who Threw The First Beer?!

Who is this whore?
Armed & dangerous coward.

No one really knows. But a guy named Bill Paulson, interviewed by Detroit’s Local 4, said Artest held down his buddy & repeatedly asked him, “Did you throw it? Did you throw it?.” Unfortunately, this line of questioning might have been AFTER the initial beat down, so even if the guy did throw the beer, I don’t think he would have told the truth. Anyway, Bill Paulson claims it was a dumbass fan from the upper-level who came down to throw the beer. I agree.

This is by far the best video I’ve found of the incident. The local reports even point of the chair throwing bastard. Watch for the white arrow to appear on the video.

SUSPENSIONS ANNOUNCED BY NBA

Ron Artest — Remainder of season

Stephen Jackson — 30 games

Jermaine O’Neal — 25 games

Anthony Jackson — 5 games

Reggie Miller — 1 game

Ben Wallace — 6 games [WHAT THE FUCK?!!?!]

Chauncey Billups — 1 game

Elden Campbell — 1 game

Derrick Coleman — 1 game

PACERS, PISTONS & NBA MERGE WITH WWF!

FUCKING SOLID!
This was an action packed week for the African-American community. Tuesday night we had the Vibe Awards fight & now we have NBA thugs beating up fans! Fortunately no one was stabbed this time around!

I don’t know what’s hotter?—Watching the brothas duke it out or lookin’ at superficial white babes expose their boobs!?!

Everything from punches to chairs to beer, soda & popcorn were being tossed around! If you’re like me & missed the fight, watch the videos w/ expert commentary from ESPN gurus. And yes…a few pla—I mean—thugs were suspended indefinitely by the NBA.

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