Posts from September 2014

Charlize’s First Aeon Flux Photos

 in the middle of the afternoon by 4

Charlize
This is kind of old news now, but it’s well-deserving of a Bastardly analysis! Above and in the next page are the first couple photos from the Aeon Flux movie scheduled to come out within the year.

I’m not going to be naive and declare this movie a failure, but I would like to point out that in the cartoon, Aeon weighs around 30 pounds and stands about 8-feet tall. Manute Bol & possibly a trimmed down Gheorghe Muresan meet those requirements, but unfortunately are both uncoordinated men who are pretty damn ugly. It’s the truth, God damn it!

Anyway, let’s hope the story’s damn good!

This photo was grabbed from Charlize Theron Central. It appears to be a scan from some unreleased tab, so hopefully more will be stolen by employees and posted on the net!

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Eva Longoria & Usher To Do Music Video

 in the middle of the afternoon by 7

Eva @ Award Show
Straight from VH1’s Big in 04 Awards to be aired Sunday evening

In a recent story run on People Magazine’s website, Eva reveals that Usher actually has a brain & has no immediate plans to cast his over-exposed, voilent-hag of a girlfriend in any of his videos. He’s stickin’ with what’s hot & Eva’s hot, baby!

I’m involved in Usher’s newest video, which premieres New Year’s Eve as well, on ABC. I’m excited about that. It’s going to be like a 22-minute video. Remember how long the ‘Thriller’ video was, like a whole story? That’s what Usher’s doing, and I’m the girl in the story. [People]

Unless Eva plans to strip down to her panties, I just can’t see modern kids sitting still for 22 minutes! Only Michael Jackson can pull that off, baby.

Since you must purchase subscription to read the entire story, I’ll paste it in the next page for you cheapos.

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A Love Letter to Valeriya Arsenyeva

 in the middle of the afternoon by 0

I’m still chopping away at the first of two volumes full of Tolstoy’s letters. I have so many I’d like to put up, but I don’t have time, nor the patience. Maybe in the future.

Anyway, in this particular letter, our Tolstoy is macking on some chick he assumed guardianship over upon her father’s death (very scandalous situation, indeed). She was 20 and Tolstoy was 28 when the fireworks flew, but only after a year, they broke up. Ok, read on if you have the time…

Moscow, 2 November 1856

I arrived last night and have just got up, and I rejoiced to feel that my first thought was of you and that I was sitting down to write, not in order to keep a promise, but because I really want to. Throughout the journey, your favorite, the foolish man, got completely out of hand and talked such nonsense and made such absurd, though delightful, plans that I began to be afraid of him. He reached the point of wanting to go back in order to return to Sudakovo, to say a lot of foolish things to you and never to part from you again. Fortunately I’ve long since got used to despising his arguments and paying no attention to him. But when he started arguing, his friends the good man whom you don’t like also began to argue and tore the foolish man to shreds.

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Asian Models Need A Home Too!

 around evening with martini & women in hand by 12

Christy Chung
The beautiful Christy Chung could’ve once been yours…

If Jackson, one of our resident authors & bashers, were to consider marriage by way of using his US citizenship to his own advantage (a common practice since the U.S. came into operation-Vietnam, Japan, Korea, India, South America, & even Iraq today), I think he’d have a lot of success.

Marriage would be as easy as going to elite clubs in China, Japan or any other Asian nation. By writing this, am I insinuating beautiful Asian women or women, in general, of developing nations are cheap whores?! No way! Only a feminist would think such dirty thoughts. Once again, we here at Bastardly.com are about love. Only love! The fact of the matter is simple: these are just beautiful women with limited opportunities in their native countries. In order for them to truly experience success, they must do what every other model does: immigrate to the holy land (i.e. Europe, United States or Canada-ok-ok, maybe not Canada). It’s kind of like a getting a promotion at work.

Anyway, here’s a sample conversation that would take place if Jackson decided to take a vacation, shell out 8-900 bucks for a flight to Shang Hai & ended up in a snazzy club sporting his latest Gucci wear:

Jackson: Baby, let me buy you a drink (either in the native language or in English—English is best in this situation as it impresses the Asian Models looking for opportunities in the west).

The girl will say yes. How do I know? —Because, in the midst of paying for the drink, Jax will accidentally drop his business card. A sleazy move in the U.S., but a sign of class in the East.

[Conversation over]

One thing leads to another and another thing leads to something else and BOOM! — We got Jackson contemplating ways to propose to his newly found Asian Supermodel.

VH1’s Big In 04 - CameraWhore Anna Nicole

 in the middle of the afternoon by 4


From a taping last night in LA.

First, why is Nick Lachey hosting this shit?! Anything short of admitting on camera that his wife has an IQ of a rock & that he’s going to divorce her ass will make him a pretty lame host.

Anyway, this is the first of many Anna Nicole photos to come. With each public appearance, it’s obvious that Anna’s increasing her wildness, so it won’t be long until we see her strip in public. At what point will she peak?

The Official Bastardly Prediction of Anna’s Imfamous Peak: Anna Nicole will have sex at an award show. If this were to ever happen, it would most probably be at an adult oriented award show like the upcoming Adult Video Awards on January 8th in Vegas?

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