Posts from July 2014

Christina’s ‘Fry An Egg On My Face’ Phase

 after a late four martini lunch by 11

Oil

I don’t know whether to be grossed out or what b/c she’s a very beautiful girl & for no particular reason wants to screw with her image. If she is all about being herself then why hide under 30lbs of makeup? I don’t get it. For goodness sake, Christina, if you keep mopping your face on with so much shit, you’re definitely setting yourself up for Michael Jacksion-esque plastic surgery by your early 30s!

Makeup does that to chicks, ok. You start real young (13-14) with the cheap stuff or the stolen goods from your mommy’s bathroom, then when you hit 16, you get a shit load of ‘quality’ makeup (the ‘starter kit’) for your birthday. That’s when it hits most girls. The thought of looking ugly scares them and for some odd reason they feel mopping shit on their face will make them look prettier. Girls, just look at Joan F’n Rivers! She’s ugly as can be even with 50lbs of makeup. If you’re hot, you’re hot. If you’re not, you have other traits that hot girls don’t have. One thing’s for sure, though: no one’s perfect!

Flashback: Christine Lakin as Alicia “Al” Lambert

 late in the evening by 21

How’d we have known?

Moe’s reminiscing for “Out Of This World” made me think of all the sitcoms we grew up with and the hotties they developed. Case in point…Al from “Step By Step.” I must admit I thought Staci Keanan was the hottie on the show seeing she had just come from “My Two Dads” fame…but she got whack as the years went on; with the short boyfriend and the bleached hair. Who’d have known this short flat-chested tomboy would develop into this oh so tasty piece of yumminess!!!

HOT FOR TEACHER!!!!

Here she is in a guest spot in the current ABC show “Rodney”. In this episode she plays the hot teacher Rodney’s son has a crush on and purposely gets detention so he can spend time with her. Ah yes, the school teacher crush…I remember my second grade math teacher…she was purrty. Prettiest teacher of all time…summer school after 6th grade, Miss Borja, she was a cheerleaders coach too….oh yes, she was niiiice…..okay, I’m getting off the main focus….

Christine hasn’t been in very many things recently…I read on IMDB that she was in thie movie titles “Going Down” and I saw the trailer and in it she plays this hot chick that’s hot and ready for some sexin…I must find a copy of that movie!

Ken Jennings’ Streak Ends!!!!!!!

 early in the evening, before sex by 2

u know he’s pissed

Yes, yes, yes….you’ve all read about it already and it’s been on the homepage of Yahoo and blah blah blah….okay, but we here at bastardly just had to give a shout out to Ken Jennings. I watched the last part of the show and damn, Ken needs to watch sports.

All three of those fools avoided the last column…something like Pro Sports Arenas…

…I think that’s one of the only Jeopardy categories I’d be able to pull a Ken Jennings on.

…kinda reminds me how Rosie Perez’s character in White Men Can’t Jump answered Babe Ruth when the questions was who holds the career record for rebounds.

But anyways….Ken Jennings I salute you….you’re one damn smart fella.

Bastardly Blogs: L. Lohan & Tale of Two Doggs!

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 1

Bushie Canada
Hmm…looks like Bush might be in town.

First of all, Stereogum got a hold of Lindsay Lohan’s Thanksgiving photos. Looks like some whore of a “friend” gave them out to the press! Anyway, apart from tons of alcohol, Lindsay & friends shared a fat spliff.

Pictures Update: Link to actual Ofoto Album with photos above & more. Really her?

Moving on to something of even lesser importance: Britney 1st public photo with her new dog. Get use to this b/c from now on, all candid photos of Brit will show her walkin’ not one dogg, but two of them! Naturally, with all the ghetto gear he always has on, Kevin Federline is the more obvious of the two doggs. The other, of course, is her new Chihuahua (which is not really a dog, but whatevs). The world anxiously awaits to see which dogg will leave Britney first. I think the Chihuahua will commit suicide within 2 months. [Socialites Life]

Tara Reid: Still Wasted!

 in the weewizzle hours by 4

Tara
Here she’s posing with a buddy [Bert] who apparently has secret desires of wild-western sex.

It’s getting to the point now where it [reporting on her partying] is costing me work. [NY Post]

Aaaw, how sad. But Tara, it’s so fun & easy! Anyway, Tara is apparently dating Anna Kournikova’s ex-hubs, Sergei Federov. Talk about a DOWNGRADE!! Seriously, it’s like one day you’re drivin’ a smokin’ M3 & the next day you’re rollin’ inside a bloody Honda Civic…LX! Sergei must be really be into those drunk chicks with f’d up nipples. Way to go bro!

Sergei, make sure you give the media a full report on whether those nipples are entirely functional once you guys break up after some rough holiday partying & love-making sessions.

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