Kurt Cobain's Journals: Masturbating Problems

January 30, 2005 Moe 5 comments

I sleep on a queen-sized bed. On one half, I sleep (actually a little less than that), on the other half rests my mini-library of books that temporarily warm the coveted spot reserved for my future S. American wifie who will one day (hopefully not in the too distant future) sleep snuggled up beside me. Ok-ok, enough daydreaming.

The excerpt below was rudely pulled from Kurt Cobain’s Journals. There are many interesting reads in the book, so I’ll be sure to pull out one every now & then for a Bastardly analysis. I don’t know how many of you people know, but Kurty was a damn funny guy when he wasn’t busy sticking foreign objects into himself. But I have to admit, some of his best journal entries came when he was highï¿½

I am a male. age 23 and I am lactating. my breasts have never been so sore. not even after receiving Titty twisters from bully-school mates. They had hair down there long before I stopped playing with dolls. I havenï¿½t stopped playing with dolls. I havent masturbated in months because Ive lost my imagination. I close my eyes and I see my father, little girls, german shepards & TV news commentators, but no voluptuous, pouty lipped, naked-female sex kittens, wincing in ecstasy from the illusory positions Ive conjured up in my mind. No, when I close my eyes I see lizards & flipper babies, the ones who were born deformed because their mothers took bad birth control pills.

I am seriously afraid to touch myself.