Posts from July 2014

ATTN: Hot Girls & Guys Who Want Hot Girls

 around evening with martini & women in hand by 1

I wasn’t gonna write anything, but I promise this will be short.

Don’t hate on me too much, but I’m not diggin’ the ring. I know it probably cost Jordy za-zillion dollars, but dude, it’s too much! Wait—is there ever too much in the diamonds & ring biz?

It’s safe to say that it’s well worth the ticket into Christina’s life & bank account. What more could you ask for?! A hot girl w/ a shit load of money! Rock on, Jordy!! You better have a great anniversary present or it’s outs for you, kiddo.

Paris Hilton’s Life Sidekicked On The Net

 around evening with martini & women in hand by 9


Sucks to be her…

I gave her my number after we met in Miami, I did not know she f**king kept it on her cellphone! -Random star [Drudge Report]

Al Qaeda is planning it’s next target on U.S. soil, so naturally our boys @ the FBI are racing around the country trying to figure out who hacked Paris’ Sidekick & showered the internet w/ all her personal information. Well, since all this information is out there anyway, why let some 15-year old hacker’s work go to waste, right? Here’s what we have on the menu.

1. Photos that Paris took of herself. Surprise, surprise.
2. How about Lindsay Lohan’s number? It’s 347-596-9990 (I tried calling & for some reason, it’s some dude’s voicemail). Oh yeah, Usher’s email (for all you girls out there) is crusher@tmail.com—actually that was his email until earlier today.
3. Lastly, we got some text messaing in Paris-Speak. I read a few enteries & they’re pretty worthless.

I can’t guarantee those links will stay up too long & please be aware that there might be some nudity on that page you already clicked on.

Check out more photos on the next page.

View All Photos ›

Ow! Pancake, Butta, Egg & Syrup!

 early in the evening, before sex by 9

Yummy In My Tummy - Pancakes, Eggs, Syrup

Ok, I know at least 2 or 3 of you guys just yacked when you saw the photo, but I swear to God, it tastes really good! That was actually Saturday morning breakfast.

Usually I go w/ the 2-egg omelet that’s packed with mushrooms & various other veggies, but yesterday I decided to be a little brave. It was better than I expected, but I think I over did it with the syrup.

Any other secret recipes out there that sound super gross on paper, but taste heavenly? Dude, hook us up some international flavs (e.g. Brazil, Japtown, Chinatown, etc.)

If Paris Hilton Interned @ The Strip Club…

 in the weewizzle hours by 13

Stripper Paris

She has done porn, so why not add stripping to the scandalous resumé, right? I’m sorry to say this, but I don’t have much info on these photos. Although I could swear I saw them floating around some time last year. It appears the set is from some party, but it’s highly doubtful she’d do what she’s doing w/ cameras around. Ok—I take that back. She makes videos of herself doing suckie-suckie, so in comparison, these photos are pretty harmless.

It looks more like a photo shoot of some sort. More info later—for now, feast your eyes on Ms. Paris Hilton, the stripper!

View All Photos ›

Latoya Jackson Is Still Really Ugly

 late in the evening by 12


Joey looks like Sean Connery in Indiana Jones IV. And, Latoya? She’s like a 50-year old w/ a 6-year old’s face. Very gross, indeed.

First of all, what the fuck is Joey thinking, man?! It goes to show that NSYNC was all about Justin Timberlake & the other guys were just fillers. It’s really sad how they’ve (Chris is on the next page) already reached such a low, has been status in the entertainment industry. Thank god for those royalties!!

Then again, the NSYNCers are in a good position, if you think about it. All the chicks that used to masturbate to each & every NYSNC song/poster/interview are now growing up and almost of legal age. You figure, probability wise, 1 out 10 of those chicks will be super hot, so in about 2 years, I expect at least two of these guys (if they play their cards right) to have an amazing girl (Justin included). Why the hell you think Justin Timberlake is killing time with bloody Clown-faced Cameron Diaz?! The guy is lurking, my friends!

Now, let’s all grab our airplane vomit bags & try to analyze Latoya Jackson (don’t stare too long, now). My god, she’s truly a work of art, isn’t she? The nose, the boobs, the neck….I could go on, but I’ll let everyone else take a stab at this beauty.

Check out the pic with Chris from NSYNC on the following page. Did Chris gain like 60lbs?! haha.

View All Photos ›

Stephen Colbert’s Real Name Is Ted Hitler

 late in the evening by 7

Steven Colbert Is Hitler

Straight from the ghettos of The Daily Show…Mr. Ted Hitler!

Apart from being Hitler’s grandson, Ste—I mean—Ted Hitler recently killed a panda…and(!) ate it. If that wasn’t enough, he smuggled condoms stuffed with heroin inside his own colon. He came out clean with these secrets b/c he didn’t want bloggers posting it up later & ruining his life & career.

You can watch the above & more in a super funny skit by The Daily Show on bloggers & their new role in media! I have no idea why I don’t watch this show more often b/c I die laughing every time!!

March Playmate Jillian Grace On E! (Again)

 in the middle of the afternoon by 10

If you missed her appearance on Howard, I hope you have it TiVO’d! I missed it & didn’t have my recorder set, so I’m screwed. I’m sure she shed some light on the Pauly Shore situation. That bastard. I think he slept with Paris during the VMAs & now he’s taking advantage of Jillian Grace.

Ok, enough bullshitting. There are rumors that this entire Jillian Grace thing is one huge media conspiracy. It’s pretty much linked to how Jillian was on the show the same day a big-shot Playboy exec. People think that since Howard caters to the horniest demographic on Earth, Playboy made some sort of secret deal with the Stern Show to help plug one of their monthly playmates. This was all in an attempt to help Playboy claw it’s way out of a big hole in terms of a dwindling subscriber base & not to mention, a horrible-horrible stock price.

Although I wouldn’t be surprised if this were true, I think the horniest demographic on Earth could careless. Let’s not fool ourselves, now. The only thing these people care about is having another hot chick to whom they can wank-off. (Ok, maybe I took that one sentence too far…)

View All Photos ›
1234567...Last »