Posts from July 2014

Snowbunnie of the Day: Sara Foster

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 1

Since Moe is on vacation I guess I’ll have to do my part in posting up pics of hot women before the site is strictly miSs’ crushes…which by no means is bad, but we still need to cater to the horny boys that come to the site to find masturbation material.

So here we go….snowbunnie of the day: Sara Foster.

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Today is my Birthday …

 early in the evening, before sex by 11

Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the Bastardly … today is my birthday. Why am I telling you all this? Because I can.

I’ll be posting another Crush of the week this week … let me know if you have any suggestions. I’m pretty picky so I can’t guarantee your crush will be my crush as well … but I’ll definitely consider it.

La china negra out!!

Nicole Richie To Rescue World Music Scene…

 late in the morning while chugging coffee by 6

I’ve just been trying to put my whole heart in it because I have so many projects, so it’s taking a little longer than I expected. It’s like a mixture of rock and soul, a little bit of dance also. I play piano, violin and cello, so I’m gonna be playing (those instruments) on my album as well.[Washington Socialites]

I can play the gueetar, so who do I have to sex up? I’m just Kidding!! I’m sure she’s very talented.

Just like any other bitch w/ a TV show & 10-minutes of fame, she’s going to use the world as a stage to show off her musical abilities.

Where O’ where is the band that will ultimately rescue the domestic music scene?

May God have mercy on our ears.

To see who the real bitch is, check out the next photo…

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Mini-Vacation, Technorati Links, & Angelina

 early in the evening, before sex by 5

Posts will be very intermittent, if at all, since I will be on vacation all of next week. THANK THE LORD! Things on the menu include a freezing cold, white-water rafting trip on Tuesday, a couple chilly nights in Myrtle Beach, a night in Charleston & a lot of binging at various food outlets. Luckily it’s springbreak for the colleges, so hopefully I’ll bag some nice pikhas of hot ladies doing some unlady-like things. Yummy!

So yeah, Jackson will probably keep you all busy with his Jackie Guerrido posts (haha) & Melissa will break out 15 or so Crushes of the Week (to make up for all the ones she has missed in the past).

Now for some geeky stuff.

The two of you who browse by categories will notice that next to each category (see below by the comments link) there’s a “(t).” This link leads to the particular category’s page on Technorati’s website. Technorati, for the uninformed, is a sweet service that indexes pages categorically & they do all this in real-time. So click on those badboys & see what other sites have to offer!

Oh, one last thing! Angelina is bloody hot, baby!

Asslee Not Even Allowed To Be A Wannabe!

 in the middle of the afternoon by 3

ASs in San Ho

Here’s Ass in San Ho.

Ass’ new movie’s name was Wannabe until Robin Devine of Toronto called up Lion’s Gate Films in LA & told them that she owns the rights to the word, ‘wannabe’ (yes, just like Paris owns ‘That’s hot!’). So naturally, after Robin’s unsuccessful wheeling & dealing attempts, Lion’s Gate was forced to change the movie’s name to—uhh—Undiscovered.

How lame is that!? From bloody Wannabe to bland & boring Undisovered. It sounds like something straight out of Star Trek.

Anyway, how does Ass justify this new name? In classic, shady style, of course…

I was really shocked. The president of Lion’s Gate called me the other day and said ‘I love the song and want to change the title to it.’ I’m like, ‘Are you serious?’ and he’s like, ‘Yeah’. That’s so cool. It was extremely flattering. [Cherry Pop]

Is Ass dumb or does she think we’re dumb? She goes from acid reflux excuses to telling us that a grown man with millions listens to Asslee Simpson.

J. Loser Actually Thinks She Can Act

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 11

It’s hard to choose what’s going to be a great movie. I’ve chosen great material but it hasn’t always turned out to be a great movie. I would be disappointed in myself if I walked away from a movie and I was like, ‘I didn’t even [bleep] try. I sucked in that movie, I didn’t give all that I could have. I phoned it in.’ Then I’d be mad at myself, but I’ve never done that so I don’t feel that way. I don’t feel that I’ve had huge failures in my life because of that. [Daily Dish]

As we all know, along with her billion dollar ass, Jenny has an even larger head, so we can’t expect her to admit that she sucks ass at anything.

Take box-office megabomb, Gigli, for example. It took nearly $80mil to make & all its time in the theatres, a handful of dumbasses with waaay too much time on their hands contributed around $7mil to the movie’s worldwide gross receipts. That is the definition of sucking it up.

For another J. Loser, check out the stats of Enough. I can’t believe she made a movie called Enough! Well, on that note, we just wanna say that Jenny, we’ve had enough of your trash. Let other Latino hotties have a go, damn it.

Thanks to Box Office Mojo for the stats.

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