Posts from September 2014

My Reason To Watch The Inferno II: Jamie!!!!

 after a late four martini lunch by 24

Mercy Mercy Mercy….I was sprung over her on Real World San Diego and now she’s back!!!! YES!!!!! Oh so hot…damn I hope she makes it to the end or else I’ll really have no other reason to watch the show.

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Jillian Grace’s Green Skirt Has 41 Bids On eBay

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 5

I wore this skirt at my first Howard Stern appearance for a Playmate evaluation with a pink top 6/2004. This is the same skirt that I was wearing for a couple shots that appear in the March 2005 issue of Playboy. I also wore this skirt for a section of my Playmate profile video, yet to be released. The skirt is in great shape. I will reinvest the $ my career. [eBay]

It’s up to bloody $570. Can you believe it? Some guy is going to have a green skirt worn by Jillian Grace (worn over and over again at various shoots, mind you) in his closet (or under his pillow). Or maybe the highest bidder is some chick who’s completely clueless about Jillian & merely loves the green skirt?

Well, if you win the skirt, please email us. We have something funny planned…

Pariseses Enjoy Crazy Western Sex In Aruba!

 in the weewizzle hours by 9

You could hear moaning and groaning and the bed bumping the wall. They were at it four times a night. [iAfrica]

It sounds like Paris Hilton & Paris Latsis had some crazy sex recently, so expect that video out on the Internet on popular p2p services, blogs like Gawker (currently being sued by Dumbass Fred Durst for posting his sex video), Yahoo & Google. Everyone will get a piece, so no worries.

Ok, let’s stop the chatter about the known and talk a little about the unknown. Apart from wanting to scream out her own name while partaking in crazy-western sex, why did Paris settle for some scruffy Greek dude who doesn’t seem to even own a razor or a comb? Three reasons come to mind…

1. Not three, but 5 billion reasons (a little less if you convert those 5bil US denominated reasons into the Euro kind)
2. A shipping company & of course,
3. Direct descendant

Bottom-line is that this guy is worth a shit load money—waaaay more than Paris’ some $15mil net worth. She’s peanuts in front of this guy, so I’m sure she services his penis, balls, ass and every other body part to the best of her abilities. And, all this time we thought she treated Rick Solomon well—just you wait for the Paris Latsis video, baby!

Thanks to Jackson for this one!

Da-Da-Da Da-Da-Da Playboy’s 2005 New Year Partaaaay!

 late in the evening by 1

We all knew D. Patrick was the man, but God damn! I thought he was happily married with 3 kids?! Well let’s hope there’s some scandalicious adultery in play here just to spice up his life a little.

I should have seen this album earlier, but my apologies for missing it. As everyone knows, Playboy Mansion parties rock—not just b/c it’s filled with endless opportunities to sleep around with multiple hot women in one, single night, but b/c there’s so many damn stars you can watch get their freak on while you attempt to sleep around with multiple hot women in one, single night.

Ok enough words, let’s head to the photos! One thing to note for all you Hiromi lovers: she was not in attendance—at least not in any of the photographs. Actually, she might have just been in the grotto making out with & giving hand jobs to all the rap stars who probably dropped in for the bash. I’m kidding!!

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The Margarita King Strikes The Young Ladies!

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 1

Margarita King
Here’s the man building up his network in the SF club scene back in 2001

Good looks only get you so far; ca$h gets ass!!!
Anonymous Merv

I gotta agree, bro! To see some more scandalous photos from parties in the SF Area, head on over to Donovan SF’s website.

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Nick Carter’s DUI Sign Of Depression

 late in the evening by 58

Nick Carter deeply regrets the current situation. He is on doctor-prescribed medication and was unaware of its interaction possibilities. [E! News]

Suuuuure!

If this isn’t proof of Nick Carter’s undying love for Paris Hilton then I don’t know what else this could mean. Poor guy. Someone should tell him that Paris is a sex machine & not capable of love.

Anyway, here’s Nick’s daily schedule in the morning before he pops open a bottle of vodka to get wasted…

1. Wake up hung-over & proceed to bathroom to wash-up.
2. Stand in front of bathroom sink looking like shit.
3. Turn on tap to wash up.
4. Look down at hands to get water to splash on face.
5. See the infamous Paris tattoo.
6. Scream.
7. Weep.
6. Open bottle of vodka and get drunk.

Wait 24-hours & repeat.

California’s Bastardly Sex Offenders

 late in the evening by 18


“Hey kids, call me uncle George!”

Get a hold of them before they get a hold of you! These are some of the scariest bastards around and there are 1000s of them in Calitown! As for Georgy (pictured above), here are some specs on this beast of a man.

Apart from being ancient (dob 1923), George Joseph Rabello may look like a sweet, old gramps, but think again my friends. On the George’s online profile, it reads:

CRIMES AGAINST CHILDREN/LEWD OR LASCIVIOUS
ORAL COPULATION
ANNOY/MOLEST CHILDREN
ANNOY/MOLEST CHILDREN

So yes, there are 1000s of other Georges out there & luckily Cali has a very expansive online database for people who are bored at home or at work. It’s very unfortunate that 95% of the listings have “THE REGISTRANT MAY HAVE SUBSEQUENTLY RELOCATED” disclaimer at the bottom of each offenders’ personal details. Relocated?! What the hell?

Without further doodoo, head on over to Califorina’s Sex Offenders Website and watch your back!

Note: George currently lives in San Diego County (zip code: 92128)

Young Angelina Jolie vs Young Jennifer Aniston

 after a late four martini lunch by 561

young Angelina vs Young Jennifer

VERDICT: Angie by a landslide & a 1/2. My God! I think that Angie’s beauty is carrying over to Jen and actually helping her out a little. Ok-ok, I’m being mean.

Jen just looks like an average chick from the 80s w/ a pointy nose & chin.

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