MoeJackson

Just a few weeks ago, I saw photos of Tom cupping some nameless Latina’s ass. What the hell happened to her? Same, damn thing that happens to all the girls, of course: She thought it was very odd how Tom only liked to do the backside-attack (chemistry terminology). Naturally, she bumped his ass.

Angel, a commenter on a random celebrity newsgroup on the Prodigy network took time out of her day to devise the perfect explanation.

I think he’s either gay or bi, but so repressed about it that he forces himself to live a heterosexual life. I feel for the women he’s with, I doubt he’s a remotely satisfactory lover.

So yeah, there you have it. Tommie is a closet homosexual. Someone should pull him aside and tell him that we’re in the 2000s & it’s perfectly alright to be gay.

Ok, enough about Tom’s sexuality. Before I close, let’s take a few shots @ the ‘innocent’ Katie Holmes & dive a little deeper into her sad-sad career. It’s not too complicated since her only claim to fame is the television show, Dawson’s Creek. Apart from that, none of her movies have ever broken the $50mil mark on the domestic front (the Phone Book came close, though), but that doesn’t really mean all her movies sucked ass, Katie fans. This leads me to believe that Katie slept her way into Batman Begins (which is perfectly alright).

After such a horrible career, Katie’s main asset is her only asset & that, my friends, is her sizzling, hot bod. W/ Tommie suddenly entering the picture, she now has his powerful, Hollywood network by her side! What more could she possibly ask for? I say Katie will keep sleeping with Tom, regardless of sexual boredom, until her career is moving in the right direction OR until she hooks up with a big-time director who has an even deeper network than Tommie.