MoeJackson

Since we know that Female Paris is incapable of love as we know & understand it, this latest news of her engagement is merely another business maneuver to solidify her superficial empire. Let’s just say that there’s no stronger base than one that’s potentially worth around 5-beeeelyon dollars.

Since it’s pretty much written that Paris will walk down the isle with this dude*, whether his family likes it or not, let’s contemplate a few reasons why one would want to marry another person of the opposite sex w/ exactly the same name.

1. Your name is Paris Hilton & you breathe only Money, penis, & sex (in that order)
2. There are billions of dollars @ stake
3. Your ego is the size of a galaxy
4. You want to say, 1) “I love you, Paris,” 2) “You are the best, Paris,” & 3) “You are so hot, Paris” each day for a few years until you file for divorce claiming ‘irreconcilable differences’

Please add to this list accordingly.

Read about here:
* Paris Gets Engaged

*Unless she can bag a Prince from either England or some Middle Eastern country or of course, woo Bill Gates into committing adultery.