Car Tampon'd! Bloody Bastards!!!
So yeah, there’s only one thing to say in a situation like this: What the FUCK?! After all, who tampons a car?! Is this a prank that totally flew over me? I’ve heard of toilet papering, oiling (truly bastardly), egging, but when did tampons get thrown into the mix?!
Actually, I’m making it sound much worse than what actually happened. In short, there was only one tampon underneath my driver’s side vipers—a spot reserved for coupons, flyers & dead bugs. Additionally, it was an unused tampon in its original packaging, so there was no chance of contracting herpes or other STDs.
I’m also curious whether the perpetrator is a hottie trying to express her undying love for me…maybe she’ll proceed to panty’ing or G-string’ing & then possibly nude-photo’ing me! Bring it on, baby!!!