Posts from July 2014

I'm lookin …

 late in the afternoon while still at work by 11

For something to write about. I need some suggestions. What does the Bastardly readers want from good ol’ miSs? Give me something with substance. I’ve decided to retire the Crush of the Week for now, since I’m feeling pretty asexual and have not seen any good looking men … except the ones I’ve covered so far. I’m sure when I see something scrumptous … you will all be the first to know.

What kind of things am I looking to write? Anything besides the whole celebrity deal. I think Mr. Moe does that quit nicely. I’m looking for my niche. Politics, Fads, Books … something I can think about and actually form a opinion on. Come on guys … give me a topic!

The Bastardly Dips Into BETA Mode

 late in the evening by 3

If Flickr, Gmail & other sites can indefinitely be in beta mode, then why not blogs?

After all, BETA is the new final, baby!

So yeah, if the site goes down or the speed is not up to par or possibly you read a joke or an interview that sucks big, fat Star Jonesy ass, please understand that we’re merely in beta mode & we’re just testing shit out.

Oh, and the same goes for grammatical errors.

Thank you everyone.

Wedding Crashers: Review & Nudity Report

 in the middle of the afternoon by 1

A certain “mfoley” on another board did this review of Wedding Crashers that I thought people would enjoy. It’s hilarious what differnet people look for when they check out flicks.

caught an 11 a.m. matinee (which costs $9.50 in Manhattan, WTF?)

OK, first of all, one of the funniest mainstream movies in a long time.

nearly all of the first 10-15 minutes are instantly classic, with incredibly hot bridesmaid nudity montage (all of way too fast to appreciate in a theater), the DVD will be worthwhile.

no nudity for rachel mcadams, but she’s really a beauty. isla fisher (ali g.’s real-life girl now) is hot, but it is obvious that she is using a double….either way her scenes are awesome. jane seymour!! of all people really blew me away. as far as i know, her scene is real (more implied nudity than the real thing).

on a non-nude note there is a pretty memorable cameo from a certain guy that is classic towards the end. for what it is (screwball+romantic comedy hybrid), it picks up where sandler and farley’s best left off. [mfoley]

So yeah, after reading the last sentence, I think it looks like it might be worth a matinee. See you people @ the movies!

Bai Ling Pimpin' The PMOY Par-taay!

 in the middle of the afternoon by 15

Chinese think she’s a complete disgrace to their nation, culture & core ideals (but when the lights are out & no one’s lookin’, they’ll wank off ’til the underwear factories open up @ the crack of dawn).

Then there’s a special segment of the whiteman population who would die to sleep with Bai Ling. The other segments that are not special want to see the Chinese Paris Hilton die.

Since she has already revealed her 5-inch long nipple & her 30lb bod in all its nakedness, I’m sure the bastardly whores will have an opinion or two to state.

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Recently Added 3rd Party Bastards. Check it!

 after a late four martini lunch by 2

As you people know, we understand scandalous gossip & that’s why I’m very pleased to bring you a list that will keep you busy for hours while you’re supposed to be working (toiling away) at your wonderful work establishments. These were recently added to our database, so look out for em in our 3rd Party Bastards list below.

Enjoy & please comment with any other reads you find interesting so that we may give our Bastardly review.

Junk Feud- 2 for 1 deal: Comes with it’s very own celebrity butts blog.


Particularization - Simple & witty. Has lots of potential!

Popbytes - Slaps you around w/ quick gossip, while giving some musical insight.

Jossip - Old Schooler that all of you’ve probably read many times.

Aishwarya Rai Needs Mariah's Ab Stylist!!

 after a late four martini lunch by 87

For those not in the click, Aishwarya Rai is a hot Indian movie star who’s trying her very best to pull a Jackie Chan & break into Hollywood.

Well, she’s doing a good job b/c she has a few flicks already lined up for release. Although in order to land a blockbuster, I’m sure she has to lure directors & producers into dimly lit hotel rooms & sign on the dotted line after a 10min session of east-meets-west sex.

As of late, Aish (as her fans & colleagues call her) has been linked to a serious scandal that involves everything Bombay is known for: Drugs, alcohol, sex, money & mobsters. For those who give a shit, read about it here & for those who don’t, flip to the next page to see why Aishwarya needs to start a cardio regiment (today). We recommend:

1. 2.5 miles per day jog or run; 5 days a week.
2. 150 sit-ups in the morning
3. 100 sit-ups before bedtime
4. And lastly, she must toss rice completely out of her diet

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The Winner Is…Lycia Naff!

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 13

Yes, Lycia Naff is the name behind the mysterious face that was posted yesterday. I’m very surprised that no one got it b/c this woman was in the following greats:

1. Return to Green Acres (1990) (TV) …. B.B.
2. The Perfect Date (1990) (TV) …. Bernice
3. “General Hospital” (1963) TV Series …. Phoebe Dawson (1989)
4. Chopper Chicks in Zombietown (1989) …. T.C. … aka Cycle Sluts (USA)
5. Lethal Weapon (1987) …. Dixie
[IMDb]

Oh yeah, & there was one more film I forgot to mention….

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