Monthly Archives: July 2005

Mariah Carey: #1 On The Music Whore List (Again)

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First she caged a music exec to get her to where she’s now & now she’s wringing every last penny from her career as she cruises around trying to sell her new beats.

We Belong Together, Carey’s 16th No. 1, reached record-setting radio audiences and is atop Nielsen BDS’ national airplay chart for the eighth week. It’s driving sales of The Emancipation of Mimi, No. 4 in Billboard after selling 2.3 million copies since April 12. [USA TODAY Via Yahoo]

Let’s not bullshit ourselves, now. Mariah has done wonders for the music industry. Her skanky style on stage & off is the force behind today’s most scandalous popstars. Thanks to Mz struttin’ her plumpy goods like your typical Hollywood slut, us guys got to taste Britney, Christina & all the other hos in their most boobilicious state. Bottomline is simply that Mariah raised the skank bar & for that, we’re forever grateful.

On that skanky note, here are couple other photos of Mariah working her magic.

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The Undies Only Race @ UCLA!

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Yes, direcetly in line w/ our extremely popular Grils Going Pee-Pee post comes a race in which hot college tamales prance around in their undies. How sweet is that?!

I did so many road trips to LA & not once did I hear about this race! What the fuck? Maybe my friends were just lame, but I’m extremely disappointed right now.

I can bitch all day, but I won’t. Before you guys move on to the photos, a note to all female readers: Girls, if you have the urge to participate in this event, but can’t get to UCLA, please put on your favorite undies & simply email a few scandalous photos over here. We’ll just add your photo to next year’s batch as I’m sure no one will mind.

Ok, enough yapping.

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Kimberly Stewart: Ugly, Slutty Camera Whore (Bitch)

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Seriously, man.

Once there was a line of what couldn’t be crossed, but Kimbimborly Stewart apparently has no regard for even the most lax rules of camera whoring. I mean, if you got the goods, by all means, show it off, but if your main goal is to simply scare the hell out of the superficial world, then what the fuck?

The Secret Organization of al-Qaida in Europe needs to get its act together & get on this girl’s ass. Maybe then she’ll learn to stay out of the public eye.

Whore.

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The Queen Survives London Terrorist Attack!!

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I know I speak for the whole nation in expressing my sympathy for all those affected, the relatives of the killed and injured. I have nothing but admiration for the emergency services as they go about their work. [AFP via Yahoo!]

Has this lady ever seen a subway in her life?

Also, was the fatass crown really necessary for the press conference? I’m sure the people who’ve lost love ones or are sitting in the ER w/ injuries love seeing her wrinkled ass all decked out in $3million worth of jewels.

Anyway, damn the members of the The Secret Organization of al-Qaida in Europe! The department within this “secret” organization really needs to think of a better name. I’m sure something shorter or possibly a creative acronym will work & of course, save time & ink all over the world?

Bastartdly = Back. Nicole Richie Ends Fast.

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Oh baby! Guess who’s back?

Yes, yes, my friends, The Bastardly has officially moved from the ghettos of SF (not really) into a solid pad that sits on some of the costliest soil in planet Earth. A big toast to the tireless guy who hosts this scandalously humble blog & to all you people! Cheers!

Aside from the big move & our complete disconnect from the net, the gossip world has been pretty dry. Only two big news items caught my eye: One amazing & another that has great potential to be amazing.

1. Another kid, this time a little girl who was orphaned by AIDS (thanks to Mark for clearing that up), has reportedly won the Adoption Super Lottery. Congrats to her. More on this in another post.
2. And, the news item that has great potential to be amazing: Lil’ Kim might be going to jail for 20 years. Can you believe it? 20 years of not seeing that jacked up face in those slutty outfits on the red carpet. Judge Gerard Lynch, please have mercy on the American public. (Another clarification courtesy of Mark: Unfortunately, the sentence is only 12 months, so don’t get your hopes up, people! Regardless, 12 months is still better than nothing, right?)

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