Various bios list her birthday as being May 2, 1988. Is it just me or does Brooke Hogan* look a little older than your average 17-year old.
Here are a few more pics to drive home my point.
*Yes, Aaron Carter got a piece of her when she was like 12. Bastard.
I’m really loving this budding trend. Let’s hope a lot of this type of stuff happens in Costa Rica while I’m cruising around from town to town.
As for the photos, I don’t know about Caprice Bourett, but I’m pretty sure Tony Parker is away @ some basketball camp or something b/c Eva really looks like she’s trying to attract a sexual partner or two to help suppress her voracious appetite for sweaty balls & abnormally large schlongs. Don’t tell me that Eva managed to con Tones into another one of those sex only, open relationships? What a genius of a hottie!! I want a piece too, God damn it!!
Ok, here are a few scandalous photos of both women. Which pool are these two at, damn it!?
Photos courtesy of Melanie Tillbrook
I just can’t get enough of those Prestigious Models. Meet the Filipina/British beauty Melanie Tillbrook. The newly FSU graduate can be found making various appearances throughout the country while also recording her album back home in Tampa, FL. However, you can always see more of her at her official webiste, MsMelanie.com.
Here are a few old pics of Paris out w/ Male Paris. Since they seem to be fighting a lot lately, I’m going to assume both socialites got wasted at this bar & then went home to have some crazy make-up sex.
And in other news, Paris has apparently dumped Tinkerbell. Very sad, indeed.
Paris only likes them when they’re very small, and Tinkerbell got too
big. [Paris’ bastard ‘friend’ talking to the press]
No worries, Tink fans, the overgrown Chihuahua will still enjoy the fruits of the superficial highlife. You see, rather than listening to Paris having mad sex w/ random dudes every night of the week, Tinks will now retire to a comfortable life w/ Paris’ Mommy. I’m sure Tinks is a couple more hands away from being auctioned off on Ebay.
Is there going to be some sort of WWII twist in Desperate Housewives in which Teri has to play a concentration camp victim b/c she’s just not lookin’ healthy! Come to think of it, she was absolutely gorgeous like a year ago!
Let’s pray that Teri’s anorexic physique won’t have any lasting affects on her young daughter. We all know how girls can be these days…
Dude, if this chick really wants to commit career-suicide, she should just become Tara Reid’s sidekick on Wild’On.
Also the horrible hair (I hope it’s just a wig) just goes to prove that Hillary left Disney with a horse fetish like never before seen among the rich & famous. What’s next Hillary?! How else do you plan to exploit horses?
Peace be upon all horsies.
At the end of the month Jackson & I’ll be attacking Costa Rica. We asked Missy, but she slapped our offer to the ground. Naturally we were pretty hurt, but since tix were around $230, we had to capitalize, baby!!
The itinerary follows.
1. Land in San Jose. Enjoy the night & hope we don’t get robbed or shot dead.
2. Wake up, pick up our rental mini-4WD & head to Puerto Viejo for some partyin’ w/ the Rastafarians.
3. Screw around down there for a couple nights & then head to Arenal for a night. The last time that badboy erupted was in May, so knowing our luck, it’ll erupt again when we’re there. Let’s hope our mini-SUV can help us escape to Jaco.
4. Assuming we escape the eruption, Jaco is next on our hit list. A couple solid nights here & we’ll head back to San Ho for some shopping & of course, our return flight!
If any of you know of crazy things to do—things that only locals would know of—please do comment below w/ all the scandalous details!
Just got in from a long weekend filled w/ lots of walking & driving. It was definitely better than work, so that’s at least positive. I hope to share a photo or two, so be on the lookout!
I’m going to try my best to make up for lost posts tomorrow morning @ work!
Cheers, my fellow bastards!
After declining our Bastardly Interview saying she was uncomfortable with a bunch of our questions here we see Brenda as contestant #19 for the Miss Natural Fitness 2005 Calendar Competition. I have no idea where to get these calendars but I swear she would’ve gotten more exposure had she not gone back on her word to do our interview! Damn, I still think she’s hot!!!!
Here’s Dumbessica coming out of the acupuncture center. Jessie, acupuncture doesn’t build brain cells & improve marriages. They’re lying bastards & just want your money!!
Jessica’s doing her best Reese Witherspoon face. Any other guesses?
In other news…
Lindsay Lohan is writing songs & directing music videos now. When did she ever sing?!!? Here’s, by far, one of the lamest quotes to ever go up on The Bastardly. It comes courtesy of SF Gate (of course).
An insider tells the New York Daily News, “It’s the story of a girl crying
to her father, asking him why he did all this to the family, and more so, to
her.“There’s also something about how, as the oldest child, she carries the
weight on her shoulders. She asks him, ‘If you loved us, why did you do all
these things?'”Her representative Leslie Sloane Zelnik confirms, “She’s written every word
and she’s directing the video. It will chronicle the last year and a half of
her life.“It’s kind of her asking her father why he did this.
“With all this on her shoulders … she’s saying, ‘You say you loved us, why
are you doing this to us?'”
Pardon me, but I think need to use the restroom so that I may hurl all over the sink & toilet.
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