Ashlee Simpson: The New Age Of Music Marketing


I’m sorry about this one!! It was just callin’ me out!!

The good ol’ days of bands heading to huge record shops to play songs are just that—old!!

Rather than using her tongue to “sing” songs from her new album, Ass & her army of consultants have decided to go a much more risque route.

It’s been learned from an undisclosed source that her father/master/Pimp, Joe Simpson, consulted with a private marketing firm to help decide the best action to take as the new Ass album faces tough competition @ the registers. The marketing geniuses came to the conclusion that there’s a select male population that will purchase the CD, if there are added incentives.

For all you guys trapped in the awful desert of indecision between whether to buy Ass’ new album or not, the following photos might help you decide.

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32 comments
Phoenix Guy

I'll take Ashlee Simpson over Jessica any day! I have a fetish for girls with big noses and long tongues. E-mail me at desertdweller11@aol.com and tell me what you think.

20carrocks

I'd grudge fuck her and then I'd off her when I nut....SNUFF!

glimmer
glimmer

thanks krysta,i don't care what my name is either... :)

krysta

Ohh im sorry # 27 it's glimmer. Like i the hell care it your name is asshole or not!!!!!!!!!!

krysta

Limmer u are a fuckin bad speller. Plus what kind of name is that???????

U may be just like AMBER DAViS'' oh its ashlee simpson'' not ''ashlee simpsons''

How about oh sut up. U know what i mean LIMMER, how about leammer, or lamer. What a fucker

glimmer
glimmer

justlikehoney i'm a bad speller too !!! glad to have another on the site. :)

glimmer
glimmer

harvey maybe ash does have talent.... just look at that tongue...

uncaringbear

Christ, you could land a 747 on that thing.

DB's Wife
DB's Wife

I'm going to guess that she's giving up on having a large male population of followers and now she's going for the female vote. I usually don't dig chicks but I'd date someone with a tongue that long. In the dark it's all the same, yo.

Ronald

That's a wild tongue

Moelicious
Moelicious

great poll idea, man. i've been looking to bring that thing back. I'll do run it for a month or so & see what's up...

Harvey
Harvey

What kind of album name is "I Am Me"? If Ashlee is so proud of herself, why does she pretend to be a rocker, use a phony rasp, and have fake bleach-blonde hair? Why does she dodge personal questions during interviews? Why is she so overly-concerned with "street cred"? I would really like to know why so many people are buying her shitty albums. I know a lot of people and I don't know anyone who knows anyone that owns one. I am sure they will all make it to a used c.d. warehouse very soon.

Is it too much to ask that Hollywood stars be required to actually have talent and beauty and not just a team of people that make them appear talented and beautiful? Throw someone on MTV and they are bound to sell albums? What a joke! "..I didn't steal your boyfriend..." No shit, Ashlee. You're too fucking ugly!

Moe, will you make a new poll so we can find out how many people have bought an Ashlee Simpson album, never would, or did and pawned it? ...or something to that effect? That whiny bitch really bugs me.

Renn
Renn

whoaa, she has the longest tongue I have ever seen!

Randy
Randy

Wha did I say?

Beaner
Beaner

What the FUCK. Either she is waiting for a hit of assid or panting like a dog. I dont get why she has so many pics with her tongue out. I know, she is waiting for someone to get the poo off her tongue after being in the closet with randy. Gotta love a woman who eats ass.

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

by "ned" haircolor, i meant "new" hair color.

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

that tongue needs to stop... now... gene simmons called and hes pissed that his trademark look is being desecrated in such a blasphemous manner.

she needs to stop being "hardcore" or whatever it is shes going for. the ned hair makes her look washed out and weird... it matches her skin tone too much (i'm a colorist, so i focus on such things...)

Daenerys
Daenerys

I dont like her hair anymore, I think she looked way better with dark hair. Her hair doesnt even look real, it looks like that fake hair that china dolls have.

Moelicious
Moelicious

Do guys really have to go into how you'd have sex with Ass?

We have kids reading this site, damn it!!!

Gia
Gia

its a cow tongue!!

icky.

Yeah

she's really cute, I'd fuck her for sure

X-Ray

Well at least if she was licking his ass, he wouldn't have to look at that face....

But, listening to her music would definitely kill the stiffy!

Randy
Randy

Gawd! I wish that tongue was licking my asshole why I jerked off to tracks 3 & 4. Gawd!

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

yeah, ick, what is that strange viscous substance... > also note the way her tongue curves inward like that... that's not natural, my friends, but takes years of practicing fellatio to acquire... good job joe! ya raised a good one!

Katie G
Katie G

bet bet she learned that doing that with daddy

shes got a very large tongue, & check out those man hands~ yuck

why wont she go away & stop torturing us with her horrible "music",

she is a horrible "singer",

go away GO AWAY

Scrumpy
Scrumpy

My guess is that white residue on her tongue is Semen.

Moelicious
Moelicious

"prostetuting"

Dude, I love that word!!

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

btw, sorry, i cant spell, so dont make fun of me

justlikehoney
justlikehoney

HA HA BLOODY HA!!! joe CREEPY simpson is doing a great job prostetuting, er, um, i mean promoting his childrens fledgling careers. has anyone watched that new show on mytv called SCORE w/ ryan spikeyhair carbrerra? watch the credits... produced by none other than JOE BUTTCHIN SIMPSON!!! btwn that, cattle ranch, and his two prostiutes, er, protogees, hes quite the rennesaince man... ek... i need a labotomy....