Posts from July 2014

Horny Jay Leno Devours Lindsay Lohan

 while thinking about eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 17

Is it just me or has Lindsay been showin’ off the her new boney bod & juicy rack combo a lot as of late? Here’s what a totally random & apparently bitter viewer on some message board had to say about Lindsay’s recent appearance.

Date: Sat, Nov 26th 2005 10:03 AM
Subject: Lindsay Lohen on Jay Leno…acted like a real slut

Does she now think she is cute now that she is a bag of bones? I couldnt figure out that last minute lap dance she tried to give that rapper who was on at the end of the show. He reached out to shake her hand and she turns her skinny ass around to attemp a 2 second lapdance. What a talentless slut.

Little kids get so damn emotional these days…

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Brad Pitt: Loving Life Without Jennifer Aniston

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Traveling through Japan

Ok, let’s just review a few of the Angelicious reasons why 2005 has been an amazing year for Brad:

1. Brad gets to have sex with Angelina Jolie (when she lets him)
2. Brad now has kids that he has always wanted (God knows why)
3. Has nibbling rights on Angie‘s various body parts (have mercy)
4. Gets to travel the world
5. Sex is no longer a chore
6. The superficial, Hollywood life no longer defines his existence
7. Unrestricted Angelina ass-grabbing & -slapping rights (damn you, Brad)

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Mariah Carey: The Thanksgiving Slut Earnin' Holiday Pay

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Before doing a far more private & intimate show in the Falcons’ locker room (in the nude, mind you), Mariah did a couple scandalous songs during the halftime show of the Detroit Lions and the Atlanta Falcons game on Thanksgiving Day. I hope most of you caught a glimpse b/c Mariah was lookin’ bootiliciously sexaaay.

We’re still working on getting the supposed nude pics of Mariah from her locker room performance/gang-bang, so in the meantime, please check out the ho’d-up pics from the halftime show.

Big props to The Mariah Carey Project for the photos!

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Angelina Jolie Getting Down & Dirty In Paki World

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This woman knows how to go get her hands dirty. While J. Aniston’s busy hiding behind pretty clothes & horrible roles, desperately pleading with the world to pity her sorry, conniving ass, Angie’s bringing smiles onto countless, ailing faces across the globe.

I must admit, Angie is definitely showin’ some age in these photos, but as we all know, her beauty is far deeper than $3000 designer dresses & $800 haircuts.

Enjoy the picas!

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Paris Hilton's Debut Album: Slut Sounds

 while eating a Bastardly Certified lunch by 16

Best when played in the background of sex tapes. Please email all sex tapes in MPEG or AVI format to bastards@moejackson.com.

There are some people who claim this might be the cover of P. Hilton’s new album. Since when did she have a voice?! The world is truly coming to an end…

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