Posts from July 2014

Surprise, Surprise: Asians Taking Over Bay Area

Over the past 10 years, the proportion of white students at Lynbrook has fallen by nearly half, to 25% of the student body. At Monta Vista, white students make up less than one-third of the population, down from 45% — this in a town that’s half white. Some white Cupertino parents are instead sending their children to private schools or moving them to other, whiter public schools. More commonly, young white families in Silicon Valley say they are avoiding Cupertino altogether. [Read more @ WSJ]

I attended Cupertino High School for one year & I remember that school was like 90% Chinese, so I’m very surprised WSJ didn’t use it as an example, as well. Maybe b/c ‘Tino is a complete shithole-of-a-school from the outside. The famous Kurt Rambis of the Los Angeles Lakers attended Tino, so we’re special in our own way.

Regardless, the Asianification of the Bay Area has been going on a while now. If you drove down Stevens Creek Blvd. on any day of the week in 1998, you would’ve noticed a 2:1 ratio of Asians to whities, so that’s one gauge of the power behind the Asian community in San Jose. Just wait until they start multiplying…!!

Christina Aguilera's Wedding: Arrogance Redefined

You have to sign your life away. It’s three pages long. It starts, ‘It came as a great shock to us that one of our guests has been trying to sell their invitations. We are sorry to have to ask you, our dear friends and honoured guests, to sign this agreement but we feel it is the only way to ensure the security of our wedding.

Banned subjects included the cake, the rings, entertainment, speeches, food, the venue and other guests. As for the dress, nothing about the train, cut, colour, designer or material can be revealed. [Christina Aguilera's Wedding invitation/contract, Daily Mail]

Talk about fanning the flames. I mean, Christina must know that all this mad secrecy will only increase the desire to know. Maybe, from a more subconscious level, that was ultimately Christina’s intension? Plus, even if people do find out how the cake tasted or whether the train was longer than Star Jones’ train, I seriously doubt they will give a shit when they wake up the next morning. Come on, now!

One last Christina stab…

Guests including singer Justin Timberlake - like Christina, a former member of American television’s Mickey Mouse Club - and his film-star girlfriend Cameron Diaz, as well as actresses Carmen Electra and Drew Barrymore and musicians Nelly and Pink, were told precisely what they were not allowed to discuss with ‘any third party’.

There’s no better way to feel really important than make yourself appear important in the eyes of already important* people. Oh, that Christina…!

*From a superficial standpoint, of course.

Ashlee Simpson Blender Magazine: Reader Friendly Version

Ass, perennial wannabe punk rocker / musician & full-time daddy’s little girl, is officially in phase two of her dying career (Phase III is the inevitable death). Phase two involves doing scandalous mag shoots (after her daddy makes a few calls, of course) & pretty much a campaign of self-whoring to the media in hopes for further exposure & increased sales @ the record store. Ingenious!

We wish her luck*.

Besides her lofty ambitions to take over the entertainment world (riiight), we took upon the burden to create a reader friendly version of Ass’ Blender layout. Since we try not to bullshit (too much) about hotness around, I gotta say that her bod is rockin’!! Go Ass!!!

*not really

View All Photos ›

Latest In Prostitution News: Volkswagen & Heidi Fleiss


Image, WSJ

So yeah, I meant to write about this last week, but obviously, we were technologically impaired for most of the week. Two items linked to the scandalous world of prostitution were released last week & both came from unlikely sources.

First, we had the Wall Street Journal report on a huge VW scandal that involved execs feeding Union leaders beautiful women in many exotic locations around the globe. The big scandal: VW was picking up the tab b/c it’s cunning managers (part time mongers) paid the whoretabs from their own bank accounts & then expensed fake bills to their kind employer. Germans are so damn shrewd!!

Who would’ve ever thought that the makers of the Jetta—a car driven by mainly ultra hot (and spoiled) girls & taxi drivers in China—would be dead center in a scandal involving hot prosties. Apart from VW, the only other people pissed off are the labor union managers. Along with the natural awkwardness @ dinnertime with their kids & wifies, I’m sure they also miss those weeklong getaways!

For those of you looking to hit up places with hot prosties on VW’s A-List, please direct your whoring eyes to the world map @ the top.

View All Photos ›

Jordan Bratman Officially Married To Christina Aguilera

Jordan Bratman falls into the same boat as that poor bastard, JC Chasez. He’s pretty much sleeping with a hot chick who he knows is also sleeping around w/ half of her male acquaintances—in Christiana’s case, these acquaintances fall into three distinct categories:

1. Most black musicians — The “keeping it real & in the streets” sexual acquaintances
2. JT when Cameron’s working or thousands of miles away — The “I feel like gambling with my life” sexual acquaintance
3. Or of course, those purely sexual acquaintances when Christina doesn’t want to go back home & sleep with Jordan Bratman.

Even with all this in hand, we still feel pretty good for Jordy b/c let’s admit it, if a dude is getting his share of ass from a girl who likes to share with other dudes, everything’s still cool! Plus, Christina’s adultery-ridden lifestyle provides countless “Cheat on me” passes available for redemption during scandalous b-trips to S. America (assuming he feels the need to hook-up with your average, everyday Brazilian hottie).

Bottomline: A big, bastardly congrats to Mr. Jordan Bratman.

Here are few more pics from his big weekend!

View All Photos ›

The Bastardly Is Back! (Finally)

Over the years I’ve learned to trust my instincts & before going through this server-move-thing, I knew it would be painful.

It was painful.

But with the help of our trusty Admin, T (this is the guy T—no offense, but he’s not as hot as the girl T we’re used to seeing on here from time to time), we went from T’s own server in SF to a couple days @ Netfirms & ultimately ended up with Bluehost. Netfirms still has a lot of my money, so let’s hope the refund process goes smoother than my attempts to host moejackson.com on their servers. Whores.

Anyway, barring any major issues (like the Bluehost servers going down), The Bastardly is pretty much here to stay. Many thanks to all our loyal readers—you are truly a sad-sad bunch, but if you’re hot, we could careless, baby!

Francesca Ramirez - A Bastardly Interview

Photos courtesy of Francesca Ramirez

So if you haven’t figured out, I can’t get enough of Making the Band 3. And keeping true to my bias opinions on who would’ve made a great group, I’m all giddy because I got contact with Francesca, the muy caliente Puerto Rican. As she’s probably most remembered for saying, “What a waste of time”, we’re here to set the record straight and not to mention post some really hot pics of her too.

*Just a thought…so Francesca is hot and from Puerto Rico and Jackie Guerrido is hot and from Puerto Rico. Seriously, is Puerto Rico an oasis of hot women?!?!?

View All Photos ›

Bastardly State Of Affairs

To our 5-6 readers (Jackson, Melissa & myself included):

We’re just a major facelift away from being finished with the move, so don’t wet your panties!! Hopefully (all fingers & toes crossed), we’ll back to normal by tomorrow morning.

Also, if some comments are not showing up right away, please be patient as they are being filtered into our spam program. If there aren’t thousands of spam comments to go through, I’ll recover the legit ones tonight.