The Bastardly Evening News - Dec. 28, 2005

* HOLY FUCK, what an ass! I would gladly murder babies to be given the mere opportunity to touch that ass…to even be in its presence would be an honor. By clicking the link, you will see more mesmerizing ass from Jessica Alba…I truly hope you have much hand lotion and tissue paper. Yah…there’s no actual story here, I was just taken aback by the ass and thought I needed to promulgate the fantasticalness of her ass. [SuperiorPics]

* Speaking of baby killing, the dude that smoked John Lennon should have taken out his kid, Sean Lennon instead. Yes, it sounds bad, but it would have spared homeboy the humiliation you are about to witness. Sean Lennon is running personal ads in the NY Post looking for a girlfriend…he says he’s “lonely”. Dude, your fucking dad was John motherfucking Lennon - if you can’t work that and get yerself some run-off pussy, just give up and kill yourself now. [ContactMusic]

* Ricky Martin always seemed a bit fruity (particularly following the Menudo child molestation bidness), but the only way the following pics could look gayer was if Ricky had some dude’s kids all over his face after hooking homey up with a sloppy BJ. [Dlisted]

* My Xmas wish came true! Thank you baby Jesus! One of the greatest TV shows EVAR may be back. Futurama may be returning…this means more antics from drunken rowdy robots. How can this not be a good thing? Kickass. [Egotastic]


13 comments
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I CANT TAKE THIS
I CANT TAKE THIS

uh, no hun. i never said the girl didnt look good, she definatly does. so fuck off and quit putting words in my mouth

ALL im saying is that photo looks a little sketch to me

and ohhh yeah, you caught me....im really just a jealous celebrity looking for the approval of you superior people on the bastardly. fuckin idiot

Loves Robert Plant AND Don Henley
Loves Robert Plant AND Don Henley

I CANT TAKE THIS you are stupid, and/or just plain JEALOUS!!!! Or maybe this is fugly Paris Hilton or Brooke Hogan all pissed off because they rarely, if ever, get compliments on their threads. Jessica Alaba always gets told how great she looks on here by the posters.

I CANT TAKE THIS
I CANT TAKE THIS

I have actually, they're plastered all over this site nonstop. But like I said, that photo is totally photoshopped - take a look at her upper body, its not in the right position for her lower body to be facing the camera like that

The Bastardly
The Bastardly

[...] In last evening’s Bastardly News, the one & only Supreme Commander reported on how the late John Lennon’s son is having difficulty finding ladies. I will recap his expert commentary before I proceed. Speaking of baby killing, the dude that smoked John Lennon should have taken out his kid, Sean Lennon instead. Yes, it sounds bad, but it would have spared homeboy the humiliation you are about to witness. Sean Lennon is running personal ads in the NY Post looking for a girlfriend…he says he’s “lonelyâ€?. Dude, your fucking dad was John motherfucking Lennon - if you can’t work that and get yerself some run-off pussy, just give up and kill yourself now. [Bastardly Evening News, Dec. 28, 2005] [...]

Moelicious
Moelicious

Dude, you obviously haven't seen any of J. Alba's other ass pics.

I CANT TAKE THIS
I CANT TAKE THIS

okay you guys do realize this picture is photoshopped dont you, her ass is totally separate from the rest of her body

Moelicious
Moelicious

Sean Lennon should stop w/ the ads & save up so he can....

1. Buy a yacht with his daddy's money

2. Throw crazy ass parties with only chicks b/c let's face it, chicks love decked out yachts

3. Have plenty of booze & food flowin' freely

4. Have sex

No matter how you look at it, a party on a yacht with bunch of drunk, hot chicks is going to lead to sex or some sort of short-lived companionship he's desperately seeking...

Sean, send us photos!

Moelicious
Moelicious

DAMN YOU, CASH WARREN!!!!

YOU SON OF A BITCH!

TheChef
TheChef

whoa, why the hell did that do that?

TheChef
TheChef

Wow. Lot to process... Let's see.

1- I agree, I'd kill the world to touch that ass, but then again, almost everyone has! hehe

2- Sean Lennon is a no talent hack, that's why he can't even get the run-off puss. Punk.

3- Supposedly that was his BROTHER that he was man handling. That's just sick. Incest. I could have dealt with the gay thing, but incest is just wrong.

4- Bender. Fucking. Rules.